, 25 tweets, 11 min read
1. Welcome to today's White House daily #shadowbriefing. We brief because the White House won't. Bonus--we tell the truth. Well haven't we had a day here at the White House. @realDonaldTrump has melted down in private and spewed nonsense in public. And sent a cool letter.
@realDonaldTrump 2. So let's get right to it. Q. Is the letter that Fox News obtained to President Erdogan real. It appears to be written by a small child. A. Of course it's real. It's written on White House stationary, not the fake White House logos that Rudy uses. And yes, since it was
@realDonaldTrump 3. written with a child like quality because if was written by the President himself. You see a stable genius who has performed with self professed strategic brilliance in this case. It's not the normal state department bs, it's man to man, dripping with testosterone,
@realDonaldTrump 4. wannabe dictator to real dictator. Who needs strategic language when you can say don't be a fool, I can kick your ass if I want to. I'll call you. It's like someone got the job as President for the day from their job at the convenience store and got to communicate exactly
@realDonaldTrump 5. the way the wanted to. Will it work? Of course not. It's ridiculous on its face. But it sure will be fun for historians to look back on the great leaders and how they dealt with a crisis and then how Trump did. Imagine if Kennedy has sent a letter to Nikita during the
@realDonaldTrump 6. Cuban missile crisis saying, hey, commie, I'm about to open a can of whoop ass on your head. Gotta give Trump credit for saying what he means. And he's going to call his friend Erdogan and explain things and I'm sure make so more concessions. Q. How can the President
@realDonaldTrump 7. claim that it was strategic brilliance from him when he got the US and the Kurds into this mess by giving Turkey the green light to invade? A. That's a really good question. But think of this as a child might. You really screw something up and you tell your mommy it was
@realDonaldTrump 8. just an act of brilliance on your part that no one else is smart enough to understand. Mommy hears that and thinks she has a genius on her hands. I'm fairly sure that doesn't answer your question because there is no other answer than he just totally fucked this up.
@realDonaldTrump 9. But while the President likes to do the plain spoken thing in his diplomatic messages, he's not real fond of the talking point he really fucked this thing up. But in all honesty the answer is he really fucked this thing up. Am I being clear here? I mean without getting back
@realDonaldTrump 10. into all the details of how this came out. I mean we had a policy that was working deploying only about 50 troops. We were working on protecting our allies the Kurds who did our dirty work against ISIS and keeping the Turks from invading. We also were limiting the
@realDonaldTrump 11. influence of both the Assad regime and Russia. And now with one simple decision by @realDonaldTrump our troops have withdrawn, the Kurds are being slaughtered and have been driven into the hands of Assad for protection, Russia's influence has increased, Turkey is openly
@realDonaldTrump 12. defying US authority and Israel is scared to death because this also helps Iran. So if it's strategic brilliance, I guess that's right if your goal is to totally undermine US interests. So there it is, very simple. Weakening the United States is clearly our strategy here.
@realDonaldTrump 13. Q Did the President have a meltdown in a meeting with the Democratic leadership today. A. Oh yeah, it was a big one. He was spewing venom, literally spitting with anger particularly at Nancy Pelosi. You all know he's got a problem with powerful women. He's got a problem
@realDonaldTrump 14. with women as a whole, particularly the ones that don't like to be sexually assaulted, but that's another story. The President is having a hard time that the entire Congress can not see his strategy in Syria. Creating anarchy is what he's shooting for and he's doing more
@realDonaldTrump 15. efficiently than any other President in our history. Remember, he's a disrupter, he's not a Washington insider, he's a guy who's not one of these smart guys who has experience. He's actually not very bright, his instincts are almost always wrong and doesn't really listen
@realDonaldTrump 16. well. He's not really qualified to be President frankly. But Russia wanted him, so he got the job. Q. Is the President worried that his friend Rudy is going to jail. A. @realDonaldTrump doesn't really care that his friend may go to jail, there are a bunch of them already
@realDonaldTrump 17. he's really concerned that Rudy might talk. That's why he's preparing a pardon for Rudy to make sure he doesn't talk. Rudy knows a lot of stuff and they've made a bunch of money together off US foreign policy--its a real gold mine if you're corrupt enough. So once the
@realDonaldTrump 18. pardon is done, he'll sleep better and we'll have less 2am tweets. Good news for all of us. Q. Did the President watch the debate last night. A. Not really, he spent at least four hours on his Erdogan letter trying to get it perfect. He asked the staff to spell check
@realDonaldTrump 19. at least 4 or 5 versions. Some had pictures, doodles and some were in a crayon type thing. Staff really just left him alone to wallow in his own brilliance. Q. The President says the Dems have no case. Then why won't he let people testify? A. Because he knows the have
@realDonaldTrump 20. a very strong case that gets stronger every time someone testifies. Q. So, he's lying when he tweets they have no case. A. Of course he is, wouldn't you if you were in his situation? He's pretty stressed about all this. He knows what he did and worries he didn't hide it
@realDonaldTrump 21. too well and he's afraid that his coverup may not be strong enough. Q. Going back to Syria, the President said the Kurds are safer today. Is that true? A. No, the President is lying when he says that. Q. He says the US has no interest in that region, is that true? A. No
@realDonaldTrump 22. the President is lying about that. Q. The President says the Kurds released ISIS prisoners to put pressure on the US, is that true. A. No, the President is lying about that. Q. The President says its good for America that Russia's influence has increased, is that true?
@realDonaldTrump 23. A. No that's not true, the President is lying. Q. The President says says A. stop this is getting tedious. Just assume that when the President speaks he's lying and his working against the national security interests of the US. Assume those two things and you'll save
@realDonaldTrump 24. yourself a lot of time. That's enough for today, see you all back here tomorrow.
@realDonaldTrump 25. Oh and when the President calls Erdogan later, I'm sure we'll put out a bullshit readout. Don't believe it. Erdogan is calling the shots here. Get his readout and don't bother me for a response.
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