, 27 tweets, 18 min read
1. Welcome to today's White House Daily #shadowbriefing Today's theme, clean up what just happened in the briefing room since @PressSec has no intention of. Let's get right to it. Many political and PR experts are wondering what it accomplishes sending a goofball into the
@PressSec 2. briefing room the answer is simple. @realDonaldTrump wanted someone to go in to defend him, to lie, to lie and to lie again because his fragile psyche needed it today. What with Amb. Sondland on the Hill testifying behind closed doors and saying mean things about him,
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 3. @Potus needed a little pick me up. And goofball Mick gave him just that. So now we've got motivation out of the way, let's get to your questions, and as distinguished from the Dishonorable Chief of Staff, these answers will be the truth.
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 4. Q. Given the political trouble the President is in, isn't it unwise for the @realDonaldTrump to hold the G-7 meeting at a Trump resort. A. Sometimes I think you guys are just not watching this show. There was never any doubt that the G-7 was going to be held at a Trump resort
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 5. The only question was which one. The Doral resort is probably the property that is suffering the most since Trump took it over. It's losing money hand over fist, something Trump excels at, and needs a cash injection to stay afloat. There are some international properties
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 6. that are even in worse shape, but the President thought it might be bad optics to host the American G-7 in Scotland or Panama. Although he seriously considered it. This is an easy one for you guys to get. The President gets the chance to put a bunch of dollars in his pocket
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 7. at taxpayer expense. He's been doing that since even before he became President. Every little scam adds up. Overcharging the secret service, instructing foreign governments to stay at Trump hotels, stealing boxes of M&Ms from the mess and selling them on Tump 2020 website,
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 8. This stuff all adds up to real money. Remember, @realDonaldTrump only ran for President to revive his flagging brand. He was as shocked and disappointed as anyone to have to take the job. But he's resilient and quickly realized how much he could rip off taxpayers as
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 9. President. It's win-win. Win for him and a win for his do nothing kids. Q. Mulvaney says this will all be done at cost and will save taxpayers money. A. Is there an emoji for throwing up a little in your mouth? That's what we call in the business complete and utter bullshit
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 10. Expect everything to be marked up. Remember this is a guy who made about $50 million from the inaugural disappear somewhere into one of his accounts. And just imagine all the money they are going to make on the merchandise that all the other world leaders will be forced
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 11. to buy. Make the G-7 great again hats. Europe pay your fair share t-shirts. Trump is a stable genius jumpsuits, you're going to see tacky shit you can't even imagine. So no, the taxpayer will not save money and the Donald will make it.
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 12. Q. Can you tell us more about the selection committee and the process? A. The selection committee was @realDonaldTrump and he looked at which of his properties needed business and picked it. He thinks the weather in Miami in June is great, which is why he goes to
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 13. Bedminster, NJ in June. Q. Aren't you just writing the emoluments article of impeachment for the Democrats? A. The President knows he's going to be impeached they question now for him is how can he monetize it. This is part of that strategy. He's got a whole other line
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 14. of merch for impeachment. Do you know what the margins are on some of that cheap stuff made in China. Thanks for the reminder though, we have to lift some of the tariffs on China before next year so we can meet the demand for them. In fact, we'll just make free merch
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 15. from China part of the trade deal. See, this is how you make money as President. Q. @realDonaldTrump put out an surprisingly nice statement on the death of Rep. Elijiah Cummings. What was behind that. A. When the President was given the news he said I don't give a shit
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 16. that, get someone on the staff to do it and don't bring it up with me again, I've got more important things to do, I'm writing a letter to Putin right now. Q. So I take it the President is not sorry about the terrible things he said about Cummings before his death? A. You
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 17. take it right. Q. The White House released a letter the President wrote to President Erdogan yesterday that was widely panned by foreign policy experts. Is he concerned about that? A. Not really, he's very happy everyone is giving him credit for actually writing it. He's
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 18. a little upset that Erdogan threw it away and didn't immediately not be a tough guy or a fool, but he likes you all know he wrote it. Q We all know he wrote it because it was an embarrassingly adolescent letter that would have been more powerful in crayon.
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 19 he's ok with that? A. He's fine with it, he just wants everyone to know he writes the letters, he's a stable genius and he's got unmatched wisdom. Ok. You guys get that? Q. Is he worried that Erdogan is completely ignoring him? A. Oh you foolish reporters. Erdogan did
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 20. exactly what the President wanted him to do. He invaded Northern Syria. Why would the President give him the green light to do it if he didn't want him to do it. It's very consistent with his Pro-Russia agenda, his turning his backs on our allies and his complete and total
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 21. lack of appreciation for human life. This is a win for Trump and when he puts Little Lindsey back in his box the win will be complete. He said to paraphrase Pocohontos, I've got a plan for that. Q. How can the President say the Kurds are safer now as they're being
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 22. slaughtered? A. He moves his lips and words come out. It should be no surprise that the noises that emanate from his mouth don't have to correspond to any known reality. That's his gift, he lies effortlessly and you guys chase your own tails trying to divine some reason
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 23. beyond he can. Q. The President seemed happy to post a picture of Nancy Pelosi standing up to him. Does he really think that helps him? A. Of course does, he's relying on the misogynistic vote to win next November. They loved it. They hate when a strong women stands up
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 24. to a man, any man, even a little man like @realDonaldTrump. How dare she stand up and point a finger at him was his thinking. I think he's crazy, but that's beside the point. Q. Exactly what is a third grade politician. A. Exactly two grades above the President.
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 25. Q. Mulvaney said there was a quid pro quo on Ukraine money having to do with the 2016 election, said they do it all the time. A. He said that, I had to go to the bathroom at one point I was laughing so hard at his earlier answers I was in serious danger of wetting the old
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 26. pants. I'm glad he said that, a little candor for a change. I bet he said get over it after he said it, he always says that. Hey Kurds, you can all go die now, get over it. What a guy.
Q. Does the President have any response to AMb Sondland throwing him under the bus today?
@PressSec @realDonaldTrump 27. Yeah, he should have gotten $5 million from him first instead of just $1 million. And if you have any questions to why Doral was announced today its to bury the Sondland questions, and, since I have to go now, it looks like it worked. Have a nice weekend.
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