, 7 tweets, 2 min read
My Authors
Read all threads
A friend in the army once told me how he got into a fight with his horse and ended up biting the horse. He got in trouble because technically the horse outranked him.

He went on this massive rant about how everyone automatically took the side of officer horse because of its rank
I kept on asking him how he got into a fight with a horse and he kept telling me “you haven’t met this horse. This horse is a prick.”

When I asked him to elaborate, he listed regular horse behaviours. It kept trying to eat hay. Wasn't keen on staying still. Normal horse stuff.
Was fascinated about the power dynamic. Does he have to follow the horse if the horse nods in a certain direction? When it shits on the ground does he have to take this as feedback and maybe salute? Friend not interested, asks me "whose side are you on".
He bit it on the neck. Won't tell me where the fuck he heard it, but insists that you're meant to "bite them on the neck" to subdue a horse. On further questioning, he swears he's seen it at the Ascot.
He’s still in the army, defending our nation with tanks. Sleep soundly.
Since you're asking about animals holding rank, there's a goat called William Windsor who was a lance corporal from 2001-2009. He was demoted to fusilier after he attempted to headbutt a drummer during a parade.
There was also a pig in the US army. He was meant to be eaten, but for some reason they decided to tour him to try and sell war bonds.

He was promoted to the made up rank of "King" and wore a crown. Whoever chose not to take photos of the crown should be fucking court martialed
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh.

Enjoying this thread?

Keep Current with James Felton

Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!