, 28 tweets, 13 min read
1. Good afternoon and welcome to the White House Daily #shadowbriefing. We're in business because @PressSec can't find the briefing room, although she has found a way to get on state TV. Nice job if you can get it. We're here to surface the Q's and provide the answers.
@PressSec 2. Let me start by addressing the elephant in the room. I too have to admit that I'm not equipped to deal with the genius of our great President. When @PressSec tweeted that it brought back a flood of insecurities making me feel like I was back in 7th grade again and....let's
@PressSec 3. not go down that road, not very productive for any of us. But you have to give @PressSec credit for shutting everyone down. No wonder the President is wildly unpopular and gets terrible press. It's because we're all not smart enough to understand or deal with his genius
@PressSec 4. And all this time I just thought he was an immoral, lying, terrible President who was leading the country of the cliff. Thank you @PressSec for the public service you've performed. It's amazing those of us with feeble minds didn't figure this out before, and only you could
@PressSec 5. help us see the light. OR, maybe we're not all fucking idiots and you've taken a trip in LA LA land or at least through educational retraining in North Korea. We're expected to believe that the guy who won't release the grades from the second University his Daddy bought
@PressSec 6. his way into, won't release his taxes, declared bankruptcy 6 times and has seemingly no grasp of either domestic or foreign policy is actually an idiot savant who is mentally superior to all other humans. Ok, I'll give it some thought and really think it through to consider
@PressSec 7. point of view. But I gotta tell you my initial feeling is I'll go with the idiot but not the savant thing. Think Dustin Hoffman who's bad at cards. Anyway, enough about the babbling of @PressSec we're here for the Press and the American people so let's get to questions.
@PressSec 8. Q. Is the White House upset that staffers are defying the President's orders to stonewall Congress and testify before the House committees. A. Upset would be an understatement. The President does not fully understand the idea of civil servants, who serve the country not him
@PressSec 9. He thinks everyone should be appointed by him and work only for him. Country last, Trump first. It's no accident that all the swampy people he brought in are refusing to testify and all the career people who've served multiple President's are willing to put their careers on
@PressSec 10 the line so Congress can hear the truth. The President does have a mental block on anyone who doesn't put them selves first. I have to tell you he's really upset by this and it reinforces his belief that he should be the all powerful authoritarian dictator rather than POTUS
@PressSec 11. He'll have a few initiatives to roll out soon on that exact subject. It's an umbrella package of policies code named coup internally at the White House. Q.There is a lot of pushback on the Republicans today for the suggestion that Col Vindman is not loyal to America because
@PressSec 12. He was born in Ukraine, although he left as a three year old and is an American success story. Was the White House directing people to make that attack. A. Of course the White House was. You saw it within minutes on the state TV. You think Laura Ingraham is smart
@PressSec 13 enough to come up with that herself on the fly. No way. The White House strategy is clear, destroy anyone who is willing to take on the President and that includes any person, the Congress even our democracy...in fact @potus sees that as a bonus. Q. Aren't you afraid some
@PressSec 14. Republicans who will push back on this clearly disgusting response. A. Are you new here? Have you not followed the eunuchs, I mean Republicans in Washington. They'll do whatever the President says and they'll like it. That's what makes all of this so much fun. Remember
@PressSec 15. when @realDonaldTrump was considering running he said he'd go as a Republican because they were stupid and would believe anything he said. He's a prophet who knows all. Q. But Col Vindman was actually on the so called perfect call and raised objections several times
@PressSec 16. about the perversion and corruption of US policy toward Ukraine. Isn't that a smoking gun for the Democrats? A. I'm not going to lie, I'm not @PressSec I'm shadow press secretary, it's a big big problem for us. But remember we've got the Republicans backing up the POTUS
@PressSec 17. so the facts don't matter. Man it's all just about process. That's what really matters. Did you put the fork on the right side of the plate, where does the napkin go. That's what making America great again is all about. Process. Q. Using the President's logic,
@PressSec 18. the First Lady would be suspect for not putting America first. Response? A. She doesn't. She puts the Donald first, who by the way doesn't put America first. It's himself, Vlad and then everybody else. Q. Speaking of process, it appears that the Speaker is giving the GOP
@PressSec 19. everything they want. Will the President cooperate now? A. Of course not, despite what I said above, this has never been about process. It's about creating enough distractions so that no one ever focuses on the facts which are killer. Q. So you agree with the latest
@PressSec 20 GOP talking point that this process is now corrupted and can't be saved. Fruit of the poisonous tree thing? A. Of course I don't agree with that, I'm not an idiot even though I take your questions. There is nothing new about the way the Democrats handled this. In 1974,
@PressSec 21. there was a special prosecutor who laid out the factual basis for an impeachment and a series of hearings before the House took a vote to authorize impeachment. None of that evidence was thrown out. In 1998, the entire investigation was complete before it ever went to the
@PressSec 22. House, much less for a vote on proceeding to impeachment. The House now is near completion of the investigative portion, taking depositions in private and are now ready to go public with all of this. Are they supposed to do this without an investigation? Don't answer that
@PressSec 23. that was a rhetorical question. Of course the Republicans want to make this an evidence free decision. Look at how they approach economics and climate change. Q. Now the the House is being more transparent will the White House also do the same, stop stonewalling
@PressSec 24. and provide witnesses and documents. A. You are the new guy aren't you. Are you out of your freakin mind. The White House can barely keep the dam from breaking even with the Stonewalling strategy. Giving up more info would be very, very bad for the @potus.
@PressSec 25. Q Does the President regret any of the press conference from Sunday morning. It seems his bravado and making things up has turned off the majority of Americans and what should have been a slam dunk victory for him. A. Not at all, his entire presidency has been based on
@PressSec 26. bravado and making things up, why would you think he'd change now. You guys keep thinking he's going to grow into the job--it ain't happening. He's very happy being the village idiot as long as they play music every time he walks into the room. Q. Was the President unhappy
@PressSec 27. with the booing at the World Series? A. Not at all, we told him that Little Bruce Springsteen was playing for the Nationals and people were cheering for Bruuuuuuccccceeee. He's not very bright nor self aware so this stuff works on him. Ok I've got a lot of stuff but
@PressSec 28. need to save some for the evening show. What do you think matinee briefings and evening performances. Just kidding. I'm outta here.
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