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𝙍π™ͺπ™©π™π™‘π™šπ™¨π™¨ 𝙍𝙀𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙨
History books tell us how great the Roman empire was, they use the word 'civilized'. Yet, Romans did what neither the Aztec cannibals or Spanish conquistadors didn't do - they turned murder into a sport. This thread is based on -
Roman history is in three parts -
1. First were Roman kings - War leaders who went around smashing people. Then the seventh king (seriously named Lucius Superbus) started smashing his own people so..
2. Kings were thrown out in 509 BC and people evolved a system - Republic.
This was around the same time kingdom of Magadha was rising in ancient Bihar. Romans, however decided one strong leader was better for smashing other people so..
3. They created 'Emperor' with an 'empire' who smashed everyone in sight, and many who were out of sight too.
Killer kings timeline -
1000 BC - Rome begins as a collection of villages on seven hilltops near River Tiber.
753 BC - Romulus, a reject from nearby state of π΄π‘™π‘π‘Ž πΏπ‘œπ‘›π‘”π‘Ž, murders his twin brother Remus, then marks out a boundary - calling it Rome.
700 BC - The seven villages join together to build a meeting place - Forum.
673-642 BC - Reign of Tullius Hostilius, third king of Rome. He attacks π΄π‘™π‘π‘Ž πΏπ‘œπ‘›π‘”π‘Ž. (hint - hostile)
642-617 BC - Fourth king Ancus Marcius enlarges Rome, builds first bridge across the Tiber.
Ancus Marcius builds Ostia at mouth of river to turn Rome into a seaport.
616 BC - Tarquinius Priscinus become the fifth king. He starts building great temples and sewers.
578-535 BC - Sixth king Servius Tullius builds wall around Rome, 8 kms long with 19 gates, introduces coins.
535 BC - Reign of the super-cool named king Tarquinius Superbus. Tarquin the proud gets thrown out of Rome, for his wickedness. (Tarquin might be a figment of fiction, just to warn us of evil kings.)
510 BC - Romans pick their own leaders, calling themselves Republic.
Rotten Romulus and Remus -
Terrible twins Romulus and Remus were hounded by their wicked uncle in π΄π‘™π‘π‘Ž πΏπ‘œπ‘›π‘”π‘Ž. They were put in a trough and thrown into the Tiber. Luckily the trough got caught in a thorny bush where they were found by a wolf and a woodpecker.
The two brothers grew up and came back to set up a city where their trough was rescued. Romulus ploughed a line for city boundary. He forbade Remus to cross it. Remus was after all Romulus' brother so he could not resist crossing it. Romulus solved the problem - he killed Remus.
"Romulus was a bit short of women for his new city so he invited the π‘†π‘Žπ‘π‘–π‘›π‘’ people to a party - and captured all their women." What a problem solver !

Romulus was declared a god later, when he disappeared in a storm.
What Romans told their kids?
You remember when the Trojans were beaten by a wooden horse full of Greek soldiers ? Well, some Trojans escaped. They were led by a hero π΄π‘’π‘›π‘’π‘Žπ‘ , and they started Rome.
This was really simple but for one fact,
Troy was destroyed in 1220 BC.
Rome began in 700 BC.
So what happened in between ?

Romans simply invented a list of kings and said, "This is our history!"

This is how secular Indian historians invented history, literally out of thin air.
After #Romans threw out King Tarquin in 510 BC, they began spreading out around the world. Romans usually won because they were more ruthless than their adversaries. They even practised bloodthirstiness by slaughtering people for sports !
Roman Republic timeline -
390 BC - Gauls invaded Rome and wrecked the city so Romans built a wall. This wall marked boundaries for next 600 years.
295 BC - Decius Mus wins a battle that makes Romans lords of Italy.
264-231 BC - Rome fights Carthage (North Africa).
Bonus - Carthage was led by a brilliant commander, Hannibal Barca.

"Although Rome had won the First Punic War,Β revanchismΒ prevailed in Carthage, symbolised by the alleged pledge that Hannibal made to his father never to be a friend of Rome."
"TheΒ Second Punic WarΒ broke out in 218 after Hannibal's attack onΒ Saguntum, an ally of Rome inΒ Hispania. He then made his famous military exploit of carrying war to Italy byΒ crossing the AlpsΒ with hisΒ African elephants. His well-planned strategies allowed him to conquer..
..several cities allied to Rome. Hannibal occupied southern Italy for 15 years, but could not win a decisive victory, as Romans avoided confrontation, instead waging a war ofΒ attrition. A counter-invasion of North Africa led byΒ Scipio AfricanusΒ forced him to return to Carthage."
Hint - My personal motto comes from Hannibal Barca - 𝐴𝑒𝑑 π‘–π‘›π‘£π‘’π‘›π‘–π‘Žπ‘š π‘£π‘–π‘Žπ‘š π‘Žπ‘’π‘‘ π‘“π‘Žπ‘π‘–π‘Žπ‘š. This is Latin for "I shall either 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 π‘Ž π‘€π‘Žπ‘¦ π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘˜π‘’ π‘œπ‘›π‘’."

Imagine the courage needed to cross snow clad Alps with 37 African war elephants, in 218 BC.
202 BC - Hannibal was finally beaten by Rome.
146 BC - Romans destroyed #Greek cities of Corinth, with it died the ancient Greek fighting spirit. Glorious Greece becomes part of Rotten Rome. Mediterranean began to look like a Roman lake.
132 BC - Tiberius Gracchus tries to turn Rome into a socialistic state, ends up being murdered by the rich. Murdering leaders becomes a Roman hobby. Grachhus' brother tries same trick, ends up killing himself, another hobby.
82 BC - Republican Romans starts squabbling. Sulla marches with an army, massacres all opposition and takes over as dictator. Beginning of the end of Republic begins.
73 BC - Gladiators revolt, led by super 𝘚𝘱𝘒𝘳𝘡𝘒𝘀𝘢𝘴 rampaged around Italy but they failed to capture Rome.
Spartacus is finally defeated by Roman hero Crassus. His general was Pompeii.

55 BC - Superstar general Julius Caesar smashed Gaul, he crosses into Germany and Britain. Crassus died in battle with Parthians. This left Rome with just two top dogs - Julius and Pompeii.
49 BC - The dynamic duo, Julius and Pompeii pick a fight, igniting a 19 year long civil war. Julius eventually crushes Pompeii, wins power and has a death party - hundreds of gladiators and animals fight to death for a celebratory party !
44 BC - Caesar becomes too powerful, stabbed to death. Nephew Octavian and old friend Mark Antony share power for a while.
31 BC - Octavian declares war on Mark Antony's girlfriend Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt. Mark is defeated. Cleopatra commits suicide.
27 BC - Octavian is declared 'Emperor', changes his name to Augustus. Republic ends.
Horrible histories series top 5 Roman gods -
1. Cordea - Goddess of hinges
2. Penates - God of cupboards
3. Robigus - God of mildew
4. Terminus - God of boundaries
5. Furrina - ?

Romans had forgotten what Furrina did by 100 BC but they continued celebrating her every 25 July.
Roman weddings techniques -
1. "We are married.. okay ?"
2. Living together for a year, so long as wife isn't away from home for more than three days.
3. Agreeing to be married in front of five people and someone holding a pair of scales.
Ancient Roman trivia -
1. Rich Romans put servant at the door to make everyone enter right foot first. That's where we get the name 'footman'. Romans believed it was bad luck to enter a house left foot first.
2. Sacrificial animals had to show consent by stretching necks out.
3. Crows were an unlucky sign as everywhere.
4. Women combed their hair with spear of a dead man for luck, with one condition - The man should have been killed in the arena, the fresher the better.
5. Murdered people became ghosts.
6. "Romans believed that after you died you went to a place called the Underworld. You crossed River Styx on a ferry and went to a happier place. But, if your corpse had not been properly buried then the ferryman, Charon, would not let you cross."
Hint:
"Gladiators were wo/men who fought in a stadium, a bit like footballers today. Footballers, today do not get swords and spears to fight with."

Though it's a nice idea looking at how some #football fans behave today.
Most gladitorial fights stopped when one of the fighters was too exhausted or wounded to go on, rest continued till one of the gladiators was dead.
Romans evolved public killing ideas from the πΈπ‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘ π‘π‘Žπ‘› people who once ruled the Romans.
Etruscans were a nasty people. They sacrificed 307 Roman prisoners in 356 BC. Gladiator fights began at funerals. Etruscan funerals usually involved murdering one of their enemies over the grave. It was a revenge and a gift to the dead man.
Etruscans came up with a new idea - take TWO prisoners or slaves or criminals or enemies and let them fight each other at the grave. Call them 'gladiators'. Loser becomes the sacrifice to the dead person. Romans began to ask for gladiator fights before they died.
By 100 BC, people were building special arenas. The greatest killing ground of all was the Colosseum in Rome. It held 50,000 people and was opened in AD 80. It was called the 'Colosseum' because it was built near the colossal statue of Emperor Nero.
Bonus - "Colosseums's large columns were cemented together, they were supposed to be pinned with big iron pins but Romans kept stealing the pins."
Types of Gladiators -

PS: Martin Brown the illustrator of is a magician !
And now we start the ruthless part in 'Ruthless Romans'.

𝑹𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 π‘Ήπ’π’Žπ’‚π’ π‘¨π’“π’Žπ’š
Romans captured New Carthage in Spain in 202 BC. General Scipio sentenced death to captives. Soldiers went beyond - they cut legs off animals and chopped dogs.
Romans wanted to capture #Jerusalem from the Jews in 70 AD. Jews refused to surrender. Romans had thousands of Jewish prisoners, they would 500 everyday outside the city walls. This went on for months.

How many #Jews know of this ?
Death for deserters -
1. AD 214, 370 men thrown from Tarpeian Rock (Rome) - deserting army. Same year - 2000 Sicilians PoWs captured, all beheaded.
2. 146 BC, General Scipio crucified runaways from army.
3. 167 BC, Lucius Paullus, the cruelest, laid deserters before elephants.
4. 'Decimation' comes from a Roman army practice. A troop of deserters were decimated - one soldier in every ten was killed for crimes as small as losing. Survivors were sent back to battle.

"Emperor Augustus made nine 'lucky' soldiers club their 'unlucky' friend to death."
270 BC - 300 troops rebelled. They were captured, tied to poles, had backs of their neck chopped with an axe.

5. If a general's army killed 5000 enemies, he was given a parade though Rome, march to temple of Jupiter, face painted red to match Jupiter's.
217 BC - π»π‘Žπ‘›π‘›π‘–π‘π‘Žπ‘™ defeated Roman general Flaminius on banks of π‘™π‘Žπ‘˜π‘’ π‘‡π‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘ π‘–π‘šπ‘’π‘›π‘’.
216 BC - Romans lost next big battle vs Hannibal at Cannae.

In the end, however Romans won by sly, destroying Carthage completely, sowing fields with salt so nothing would grow.
Romans started cremating after Emperor Sulla started a new fashion. Enemies were digging up Roman corpses and scattering them around. Sulla asked for a pyre.

Thus was legitimised the Greek practice of pyres.
Numidia in North Africa was ruled by Jugurtha - who thought he was better than Romans.
110 BC - He drove Romans out of Numidia.
105 BC - Roman senators invite Jugurtha for a parley, much like the recently held US congressional hearing. @sunandavashisht
The senate invited him for a parade after the hearing but there was a nasty surprise. The parade ended with Jugurtha falling dead after something worse than this. @Fuchsiarainbows @rkgrahul
Roman ruthless knew no bound, neither did their cunning.
𝐢𝑒𝑙𝑑𝑠 liked to collect heads of their enemies. Romans copied. From 87 BC Romans began avid skull collectors. "Old Galba was emperor for just nine months when he was beheaded. His body, after being kicked around the streets was SOLD to his daughter", records Plutarch.
73 BC - Super Spartacus from Thrace (now Bulgaria) led a rebellion in Rome. He was declared outlaw, captured and was made a gladiator. He eventually became a gladiator trainer.
It took 10 legions (about 60,000 men) to beat Spartacus. 6000 were captured, all executed by crucifixion, by Emperor Crassus.
#India has been long charged with the abominable of female infanticide by a hypocritical western world.

Fact is #Roman fathers had power of life/death over their children. If he did not feel okay with raising a baby, it would be killed. The mother had no say in this decision.
"Roman babies were thrown to dogs or drowned, or killed and then put on the city rubbish dump. Most of these babies were girls."

#Woman are besieged since the start. It is remarkable that #MarieCurie and our #ISRO scientists rose to be giants in purely male bastion - Science.
Roman sewers were cleaned pretty much the same way our sewers are cleaned today. Cleaners would shovel poo out and load it on carts.

This denial of basic #HumanRights and dignity is shocking. We want to #Robots to kill people but not clean sewers? How flipped is our #ethics?
"In the city of Tyre in Carthage, in the AD 400s,the Christian women were stripped naked and thrown into the air by Romans. There was no one to catch them."
Roman Empire Timeline -
64 AD - Claudius dies from eating mushrooms and nutty Nero takes over. Same year, a huge fire destroys Rome and Nero is blamed.

Nero in turn blames the #Jews who had become Christians. #Romans start hundreds of years of cruel executions of #Christians.
79 AD - Vesuvius erupts, Pompeii buried
80 AD - Colosseum is built.
161 AD - Emperor Marcus thinks the empire has become unwieldy so divides it into two - the East and the West.
165 AD - Eastern army brings back a plague they caught, in war with the West. video.nationalgeographic.com/video/news/000…
200 AD - Empire grown weak from internal wars and plague, Barbarians start swarming - Franks and Alemanni from North, Goths in Greece, Persians in Mid-East.
260 AD - Emperor Valerian captured by Persians, skinned and skin put on display.
300 AD - Emperor Constantine gains empire.
476 AD - The last Roman emperor is removed by Visigoths, a brave barbaric Germanic people who had captured Rome in 410. His name is 𝙍𝙀𝙒π™ͺ𝙑π™ͺ𝙨. Roman empire comes full circle.
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