, 28 tweets, 7 min read
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I have to go for it.

This is too good.

"Hi! Can we be your friends?"
"WHO YOU CALLING INSANE?!"
"You'd never know it, but this NOT my real hair!"
"Mayonnaise. That's what I'll have. A bowl of mayonnaise."
"I have your best interests at heart. You can tell by my completely unforced, totally natural smile."
"I am every race, ethnicity, and gender in one person."
"For me, EVERY DAY is Halloween."
"Hey: Are you a parking ticket? Cuz you've got FINE written all over you!"
I went across to Switzerland
Where all the Yodellers be
To try to learn to yodel
With my yodel-oh-ee-dee
I climbed a big high mountain
On a clear and sunny day
And met a yodellin' gal
Up in a little Swiss chalet
"Why would you think I'm dead?"
"I'M TRYING TOO HARD!"
"What did you just call me?"
You're my little choochie face
My choochie, choochie, woochie little choochie face
"I'm a different guy, and no, I'm not dead either."
"Nothing's wrong with my eyes. Why do you ask? I SAID, WHY DO YOU ASK?!"
"I do indeed remember that night! You little rascal, you!"
"HELLO! LET ME IN! I MEAN YOU NO HARM!"
"How do I get this glow? An afternoon in a nuclear reactor! Don't let anyone tell you that 700 roentgen of gamma radiation is fatal."
Pass.
"Believe me: Vents in your head is the next big thing in body modification."
"Did someone say VODKA?!"
"You're making me blush!"
"Stand back while I melt that door with my EYES."
"Wanna see?"
"Ask me anything about national security. And alcoholism."
"Hi! How are ya? Hi! Can we talk? Hi! What's your name? I'm Steve! Hi!"
"And then she said, 'Carnauba?!' And I said, 'Three times a day!' Hyuh-hyuh-hyuh-hyuh-hyuhhhhhhhhh!"

END
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