1/ Care givers need intentional rituals to either 'lock up' our work or to let it 'pass through us.' Depending on the nature of the day, either can be helpful...
2/ Locking up is for the end of the day to keep you from bringing home what isn't yours to carry.
It is intentional prayer of clarity on, 'what is mine to carry what is theirs, what is God's?' Talk to God, hand it over and go home....
3/ But sometimes the weight is too much to lock up. We are human and we are affected by the lives of people we work with and sometimes we can get anxious with all we are exposed to or dealing with, that is where 'passing through' can help...
4/ 'Passing through' helps you realize that this too shall pass. It is the intentional practice of 'here comes the weight, like a storm. It will be with me for a while and will wreak havoc and move on.' It passes on like a weather pattern and its 'damage' is temporary. #soulcare
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We get reactive when we don't get a false need that feels like a real need.
What do you think you need that you don't really need?
We all have dozens of false needs and when we don't wrangle our many false need, they pile up and get the better of us and wear us out.
2/
Some of my false needs: 1. I need everyone I meet to like or approve of me. 2. I need to be understood. 3. I need to make the person in front of me feel better. 4. I need to always know what to say or do in any situation. You MUST see me as a smart person.
3/
We end up getting bigger or smaller than human sized.
1/
Some of us, when we are reactive get 'bigger.' We must have the last word. We no longer listen to learn, we now listen to advise, fix, correct, or mansplain. We get aggressive, we dominate the space. Some of us literally make ourselves bigger.
2/
Some of us get smaller than human sized. We no longer feel safe to be exactly ourselves in that space. We do not speak up in the meeting, we flatter rather than tell the truth, we get quiet.
Some of course get bigger or smaller, depending on the circumstance and people.
3/
A gentle reminder that your inner critic is telling you a gospel. It just happens to be a gospel of condemnation and shame.
I fired my IC, but he kept coming to work, like Milton from Office Space. I've learned to quieten it by containing it with God's first and last word.
1/
This is slow transformation work, not one and done. I started in 2016, noting how often I called myself 'stupid' or a 'moron.
50-100 times per week. Lord have mercy.
I vowed to treat myself the way God treats me. It was harder than I thought it would be.
2/
It turns out, I believed the gospel of 'self' and inner critic over the gospel of Jesus. And it took much faith and patience to relax into the gospel of Jesus.