Share this page!

Enter URL or ID to Unroll

You can paste full URL like: https://x.com/threadreaderapp/status/1644127596119195649
or just the ID like: 1644127596119195649

How to get URL link on X (Twitter) App

  1. On the Twitter thread, click on or icon on the bottom
  2. Click again on or Share Via icon
  3. Click on Copy Link to Tweet
  4. Paste it above and click "Unroll Thread"!
  5. More info at Twitter Help
Steve Cuss Profile picture
@stevecusswords
Dec 21, 2019 • 4 tweets • 2 min read • Read on X
Lots of generalized talk about anxiety now days. Awareness is a good thing, but tools, nuanced language and a path will get you 5000% further in anxiety management than just conversation. One powerful tool is a #Genogram.

1/
#Genogram is like a family tree, but it captures emotional dynamics, generational traits, mental illness, addictions...

You present a genogram to a trusted group. They help you see patterns, assumptions, family propaganda, what you are holding, what is holding you.

2/
#Genograms give insight into what you carry into every encounter and what you assume about life. They are not interested in blame, but awareness. Unlike a family tree, they are not interested in objective history, but your subjective experience of it. How you see the world.

3/
My favorite work and consulting is helping people with genograms because they are deeper tools that anyone can benefit from and they help us go from talking about it to deep transformation. Like all transformative tools, this one requires homework and digging deep. #WorthIt

4/

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
　

Keep Current with Steve Cuss

Steve Cuss Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @stevecusswords

Steve Cuss Profile picture
Sep 10
One of my clients was talking about a newly formed staff meeting and one team member's tendency to critique and shut down others' ministry approaches. Ie, they not only didn't like the approach, they found it utterly wrong.

They were utterly wrong.

1/
It reminded me of the HIGH importance of the team leader managing anxiety in a staff. When one person 'pounces on a peer' and it is left untreated in the room, the staff will no longer show up as themselves.

It is on the leader to redistribute the anxiety.

2/
Typically the 'pounce' is spoken in a way that communicates, 'this is the end of the matter.'

People who are rigid communicators, people who speak emphatically, who aggressively critique another in public....they communicate 'no one else gets to say anything.'

3/
Read 7 tweets
Steve Cuss Profile picture
Sep 6
One of the most powerful ways to practice #differentiation is through the lens of responsibility. What is mine to carry, what is theirs, what is God's? Not an easy question to answer, but always worth a pause and reflection.

1/
When we're in anxiety's grip, we tend toward hiding, avoiding or blaming or, yikes, the trifecta of all three. But practicing differentiation forces us to clarify responsibility. The authors of Scripture remind us again and again that we can control one thing: self.

2/
So we can make a list of the things we are anxious about and then a check box set of columns.

How much control do I have over what I am anxious about?

Lots? Some? None?

3/
Read 10 tweets
Steve Cuss Profile picture
May 1
When I do workshops for teams, one tool we cover is communication styles. I ask 3 'either-or' questions. The first question:

Are you a rigid or fluid communicator?

This question is 'how do others receive my words?'

I am a RIGID communicator.

1/
In our chaplain group, my supervisor said, 'Steve, you talk as if you think you are the Pope. Everything is ex cathedra. Steve speaks and it is so.'

Ouch.

But also true.

My words carry WAY more weight and authority than I actually hold.

I SOUND more certain than I FEEL.
2/
My thinking is often quite fluid, but people experience me as having a certain opinion.

It takes extra energy to converse with a rigid communicator, because we talk as if we have the last word on the matter.

I had to learn to help my team push against my own views.

3/
Read 10 tweets
Steve Cuss Profile picture
Apr 18
Day 4.

Chronic anxiety or 'reactivity' is based on false needs that feel real in the moment.

Acute anxiety is based on real threat.

Slamming the brakes, swerving to avoid an accident, losing a child on a playground, seeing a snake when you're out jogging - acute anxiety.

1/
Image
Image
Not doing it perfectly, letting someone down, needing to be understood - chronic anxiety.

The problem is, the 'chronic' VERY much feels like the 'acute' in the moment.

Your body cannot tell the difference until you train it.

2/
Humans seek 5 core false needs: control, perfection, having the answer, being there for others, approval.

Let's look at two....

3/
Read 10 tweets
Steve Cuss Profile picture
Apr 17
Day 3.

Unaddressed reactivity wears us down.

We get reactive when we don't get a false need that feels like a real need.

What do you think you need that you don't really need? Image
We all have dozens of false needs and when we don't wrangle our many false need, they pile up and get the better of us and wear us out.

2/
Some of my false needs:
1. I need everyone I meet to like or approve of me.
2. I need to be understood.
3. I need to make the person in front of me feel better.
4. I need to always know what to say or do in any situation. You MUST see me as a smart person.

3/
Read 7 tweets
Steve Cuss Profile picture
Apr 16
Day 2.

Reactivity stops us from being human sized.

We end up getting bigger or smaller than human sized.

1/
Image
Image
Some of us, when we are reactive get 'bigger.' We must have the last word. We no longer listen to learn, we now listen to advise, fix, correct, or mansplain. We get aggressive, we dominate the space. Some of us literally make ourselves bigger.

2/
Some of us get smaller than human sized. We no longer feel safe to be exactly ourselves in that space. We do not speak up in the meeting, we flatter rather than tell the truth, we get quiet.

Some of course get bigger or smaller, depending on the circumstance and people.

3/
Read 12 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us!

Send Email!

:(