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Behind an adolescents sudden announcement of trans identity is a confused, hurting child trying to organize these confusing feelings into a neat narrative with a clear solution. Arguing will not work. They already “know” the truth via the trans narrative. The key is to access
What they DONT know (the more complex feelings under the trans narrative) and help them come to realizations and self compassion by guiding them through the jungle of feelings below the trans narrative.

Desistance = not having a need to use trans ID as a crutch anymore
As my mind matured, little by little the complex feelings that motivated me to transition began to feel less random and inexplicable. I began to understand my moms abusive, forced food restriction and body shaming made more sense in explaining my dysphoria/dysmorphia than a
Mystical inner male identity. While I was living with my mom, and didn’t have the mental maturity to not be completely gobsmacked by the pain I was in, and was not emotionally SAFE to have these realizations about my mom, the trans ID allowed me to fit these confusing feelings
Of betrayal, dissociation, body hatred, worthlessness (because I did not have the right body type for my mother to love me) into a neat narrative that made it less overwhelming. I wish I had an adult to guide me through the overwhelming feelings before I medically transitioned.
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