Ok, let's get this started! I'm trying to raise awareness of issues that only affect female bodies. I'll bring links to more info on each issue. I will start from what are considered big issues that barely anyone seems to care at all. Let's do it!
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In 2022, while visiting family, my adult younger brother told a rape joke in front of me. My older brother laughed. I said simply, "I should tie both of you in chairs with a gag mouth and read to you my book (The Grumpy Guide to Radical Feminism). Older brother took an issue. 1/
He said "I will never read your book because I'm against extremism." I tried to reply that radical feminism was not "extremism" but he kept shouting me down. Younger brother defended older brother's "right" to not read my book, mind you. They wouldn't let me speak, so I told 2/
Both to go "eff" themselves and left the room. Older brother, nearly 50yo, ran to our mother to tell her I was verbally assaulted them, and she almost fell for it, until I told her about the rape joke and what I said about my book. Older brother demanded an apology from me. 3/
I carried the blame for being sexually abused as a girl for 30 years, because when I disclosed it, my stepfather became furious with me for "defaming his relative" (the abuser was married to a female cousin of my stepfather). I was 8yo and insisted that this happened... 1/
... and he went into denial, saying that this man would never do such a thing because he was his relative and because he was "such a religious person - he went to church every Sunday". I insisted I was telling the truth and that he forced me to touch his penis... 2/
...and my stepfather went "then you must have done something around him for this to happen." At 8yo... and I believed it for 30 years. It was only after a gang rape happened in Rio de Janeiro in 2016 that I started to understand what happened. Brazilian men were like: 3/
Longer-ish thread, I hope. The case of the French woman who, for a decade, was drugged by her husband and then raped by men her husband recruited online is something I've been banging on for years now, since a 16yo girl was gang raped in Rio de Janeiro in 2016 by 33 men. 1/
These two cases are not even isolated. Off the top of head I can remember at least another one in which a 14yo girl was found drunk in a park by a man, who raped her, then send messages to other men to come and rape her, and in the end she was raped by 26 men or so. 2/
What about the uni student who left a party, found a woman unconscious outside and put his hands on her vulva and vagina, remember that one? You get the gist. What I've been banging on since 2016 is: these men above are healthy members of patriarchy, not "monsters" 3/
Last night, I received an unexpected message sent by a man who downloaded my report "Women's Sex-Based Oppression in The 21st Century". With his permission, I'll reproduce it here:
"Hi Andreia, I have two girls and a boy who were brought up with utmost respect and love..." 1/
"... and have grown into beautiful people now having kids of their own so to read some of your articles about oppression is an eye opener to me. However in the last few years I have started employing young people in my small business and have noticed how boys are treated..." 2/
"... differently to girls. With me, they are treated identically, same $30/hour, same work, same conditions, etc. But they have all opened up to me about life. All are aged in 23-28 bracket. I've had four girls and three boys working with me." 3/
The man who was challenged by a woman in the female toilets, got angry and shot her dead, has been finally arrested yesterday, I've been told. This happened in Brazil. The woman was in a restaurante with her husband and kids, he was there with his wife and kids. He went to the 1/
female toilet for "reasons", she challenged him, he "got angry", left his family in the restaurant, went home, got a gun, came back to the restaurant and shot the woman who challenged him in the female toilet. For "reasons" (like challenging his presence in the female toilet). 2/
Brazilian media was informed that this man, who shot a woman 3 times (1 of them in the head), killing her, already had a criminal record. This was another femicide. This was male violence against a woman. A violent man was free to commit violence. Now another woman is dead. End/
Would I be too far off if I said: "when a person is experiencing coercive control from a partner/relative/"friend", if they tell their abusers what coercive control is, the abusers will use their new found knowledge of coercive control to further the abuse"? It feels like it.
I want to say something very uncontroversial: abuse is very abusive. It drains the life of the abused, the abused becomes a shred of what they could become. I have no time for abusers. I cut them off my life and say "no" to them.
Very few people care about women and girls. We complain, we speak out, we fight against female discrimination, but very few people actually listen to what women say. Today, I despair. It's very isolating. Yes, I'm in a very bleak mood.