Thread by @PhilipMott1

A Parent Thread:

What would we save in time, resources, and intangible relationships if our kids really could be trusted to guide their own education?

In our home we do trust them and the savings are a lot.
Zero seconds spent telling them it's important to practice counting.

Zero seconds looking for homework or reminding them to complete it.

And they both count...a lot.

The 18 month old is starting to count too.

Very little time spent encouraging them to read.

Zero time spent asking them, "what's this word?"

I just look like a negligent parent right now.

I'm literally incriminating myself.

I do have some evidence to share...please hold.

"Your attention is important to me. Please watch this gif while I provide photographic evidence of learning in our household.

4 years of journals that document our learning environment.

I know I know, how are they going to learn algebra...our oldest is six...we’ve got some time to figure that out.

Very few dollars spent on "curriculum" especially packaged curriculum. I'd say we spend roughly $10 a month on standard learning materials.

We should probably track and itemize our spending more closely because we don't already have enough to do...

Have I mentioned zero power struggles on how they should be spending that time?

What's the average amount of time parents spend disciplining their kids, and at what cost to the quality of the relationship?

Actually, I'm gonna Google that right now and see if I find anything.

I found something...anecdotal at best?

"The average parent also spends 24 minutes of every day doing ‘deals’ with their offspring in an attempt to secure a compromise or get them to behave or eat food."

I'd rather sit and listen to them talk for 24

swnsdigital.com/2019/07/parent…

1.4 hours a day...that's 84 minutes...is the average time we spend with our kids.

24 of those minutes are negotiating?

That's 29% of our relationship!

bls.gov/charts/america…

To be fair, we are negotiating all of the time in our home. It's just not about learning.

It's always about what we will allow them to do to others or to our personal property.

And it's more like conversing because we don't leverage resources for compliance (bribing)

Some predictions and corrections...we may not end up saving money and time.

Our children may discover expensive and time-intensive pursuits. We'll want to do all we can to support those.

But they shouldn't ever feel that we pressured them into it.

For now, it feels like we're saving a lot of time and stress by trusting our children to guide (keyword) their education.

And if they ever feel like we're not doing enough, hopefully we'll have built the kind of relationship with them that they'll tell us and we'll listen.

I'm not implying that families should remove their children from institutions and try #unschooling

If you want to fully trust your child to guide their education you have to refuse to be "the lever."

Parents are often used as levers against their own children to get them to do things the kids do not see value in.

This puts the parent/child relationship at risk.

This does not mean, "fight the teacher" either.

You can support the teacher!

"I think your teacher is right. You should probably spend more time reading. But I'm not willing to jeopardize our relationship just so you can read Great Expectations."

And then we might draw a boundary with the teacher respectfully.

"I will purchase books, borrow videos, find creative supplies, and mediate conversations between the two of you. He's a person. If it's truly important we trust that he'll be able to see it."