Thread by @draw_gregory

Fuck it I’m starting Glee

Somehow all I know about Glee is:
-it stars Lea Michele
-at some point Idina Menzel plays her long lost mom
-there is a gay cheerleader named Santana
-Sarah Jessica Parker sings Let’s Have a Kiki

Episode 1 thoughts:
-Rachel and the twink deserve their bullying :(
-What is the tone of this show??
-Imagine being a cool jock who just wants to do musical theatre!
-Why is Will a thing
-Rachel wants Finn to know theatre girls put out and good for her
-oh no I love this

Me realizing why everyone was obsessed with Journey in 9th grade

“Look I know I’m just a sophomore but I can feel the clock ticking away and I don’t want to leave high school with nothing to show for it.”

A remarkable line of dialogue.

Oh my God they’re singing Gold Digger help me

I wish the cute teacher with OCD was trying to save glee club instead of this annoying dude with the poorly written wife

Praying for the horny theatre girls of 2009

My thoughts on Glee so far

I’ve accomplished one (1) work assignment, put on actual human clothes, and convinced my roommates to take the virus seriously. I think I’ve earned another episode of the television program Glee.

Brilliant

You tell him, Rachel Berry!!

Same.

Glee has big Prop 8 was passed a year ago energy

Steven Spielberg and Tony Kushner deciding to remake West Side Story

Incredible

Ryan Murphy having a football team dance to Beyoncé so they can win the big game is the kind of I-have-power-now-fuck-you-high-school-bullies spite I aspire to

Somebody buy Ryan Murphy some heels! 😭😭😭

American Crime Story (2018)

Reader, I screamed

KRISTIN CHENOWETH AND LEA MICHELE ARE HAVING A “MAYBE THIS TIME” DUEL HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS

The thing about me is I love musical theatre and it’s insane that I’ve never watched Glee before

I make Glee memes now

Jayma Mays is working so hard to justify the Will/Emma/Ken/Terri stuff and it’s just not possible. These storylines need to end. 😓

Is Santana a real character yet? No. Is she still my favorite because I know she’s gay? Absolutely.

All men are bad.

Oh my God??

I’ve tried to get work done but I think my only successful quarantine activities are going to be panic reading Twitter and watching Glee and the former isn’t helping anyone so... more Glee!

When the Best Actor category is just five white guys who love method acting

Will Schuester must be stopped.

Will Schuester singing Bust a Move AND Thong Song? In one episode?

Aren’t things bad enough??

So Finn’s choice

Getting a slushie thrown in your face would suck so much actually

Aw baby Kurt I was rooting for you

Maybe it’s the self-isolation but I think I’m falling in love with Lea Michele

Finally Will says something relevant!

Oh no I’m a Rachel

Why do Finn and Quinn’s names rhyme

Lady Gaga when there are a hundred people in a room and one believes in her

All of us when we still have to pay April rent

Can Will Schuester go grade a Spanish quiz and leave me alone

Garden State (dir. Zach Braff, 2004)

GASP!!!

When someone says they can’t have a sex life during quarantine

I’ll start a GayLesbAll with you, Rachel

And that’s how Sue sees it!

The L Word, “Luck Be a Lady” (dir. Angela Robinson, 2007)

Somebody told me there’s a rumor that Lea Michele and Dianna Agron were hooking up during the first season and I’ve decided it is fact

RACHEL BERRY IS A GODDAMN STAR

Me feeling so proud of my kids for stepping it up and against all odds giving a performance they can be proud of that showcased their talents in singing, in dancing, in friendship, putting aside their doubts and their differences and proving to the world what Glee Club is all abo

I got some actual work done today and now I’m tired. You know what that means?? TIME FOR MORE GLEE.

Rachel is really at her best when she’s single and spiteful

WHAT

Is literally everyone on this show???

Dating done right

I can’t believe I lived so many years without watching a show that introduced Jonathan Groff and Idina Menzel in a single episode

Me, watching Glee’s first thirteen episodes: Will Schuester couldn’t possibly get any worse.

Me, watching Glee’s fourteenth episode: WILL SCHUESTER GOT SO MUCH WORSE!

Evil Idina? Yes I am horny.

Artie is CANCELED

Why is every man on this show an actual monster

Me, responsible, to quarantine crushes

I hate to praise anything that involves Will Schuester being sexual but the “Like a Virgin” number was really good

Glee BEFORE starting my work? Just the mood today, everyone!

Good morning

Kristin Chenoweth is singing Springsteen. We’re so lucky. :’)

To be fair I’m crying more than usual this week but also !!!

When your Tinder date at Moonlight doesn’t go as well as you hoped

Sometimes Ryan Murphy uses his powers for good and sometimes he uses his powers for evil!!

I should’ve just gone to sleep

Nevermind I’m glad I stayed up

When Anne Hathaway found out what Shakespeare was REALLY doing during quarantine when he was “writing” “King Lear”

Is this show real

How did they get footage of me at Tisch

Filmic! Arts!

Lea Michele! Jonathan Groff! Ballet! Total Eclipse of the Heart!!!

Some of us are both

Girls hitting on me in high school

Stop fighting over Puck and make out

Friend: Who’s your seventh favorite character on Glee?

Me:

A week ago if you asked me what this screenshot was from and given me four thousand guesses I would not have said Glee

Watch an Agnès Varda movie, Artie.

Of course the man who gave us Xander Harris directed an episode where Matthew Morrison and Neil Patrick Harris duet Billy Joel AND Aerosmith.

Glee got good again!!!

Thank you, Ryan. You’ve given me so much.

Okay but when are we going to meet Rachel’s dads??

Bradley Cooper to Irina Shayk

What we think our creative quarantine fashion is like vs. what it’s actually

How am I this horny during a pandemic

Making us sit through a terrible Kiss number because we got an amazing Lady Gaga number... the show just won’t accept that we don’t care about straight men.

Imagine if your long lost mom was Idina Menzel. Imagine the level of mommy issues. Even for me it’s a lot.

Santana Lopez, I love you.

Considering how often they made her lust after bland men, Jane Lynch really did deserve that Emmy.

Why. Do. So. Many. Numbers. Involve. White. Boys. Rapping.

At my high school it was called Circle and we would literally do this before the last performance of every show, and, yes, we would cry this much.

Who knew a “Journey medley” could bring me so much joy

Quinn’s mom going into the delivery room while the Glee Club has to remain outside is a commentary on the ways hospitals prioritize biological family over chosen family negatively impacting queer people. In this essay I will...

Vocal Adrenaline? VOCAL ADRENALINE?? Did you see the crowd dancing to that Journey medley??? They loved it!! How dare you, Olivia Newton-John?? How. Dare. You.

These kids sure do sing a lot

The latest Coronavirus news is like

And that’s season one!!

Best Episode: Sectionals
Worst Episode: Acafellas
Horniest Episode: Theatricality
Best Character: Rachel Berry
Worst Character: Will Schuester
Favorite Number: “Maybe This Time”

Not even ten minutes into season two and multiple white boys are rapping.

This guy bullied me in middle school 😔

*intense gay staring*

This POV porn is really specific

The second season of Glee is already so gay

Emma Pillsbury was ahead of her time

I can’t believe people told me season one was better than season two

Oh my God????

OH MY GOD??????

Is this the best episode of television ever

Will ruins literally everything

Please let this be real

Last night when I decided to have pasta for dinner instead of my usual pasta for dinner

Shabbat Shalom

!!!

Rachel Berry is NOT a cool rider!

Kurt singing a duet by himself because there isn’t another out gay boy at the school 🥺

Tina and Mike deserved to win the duet competition!

MY GAY HEART THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD

In one ep Kurt examined how he uses being gay as an excuse to not respect boundaries and accepted being single doesn’t mean he’s alone + Brittany realized she uses sex to compensate for not being able to show her love publicly.

It’s such a smart show about teenage queerness!

Just when I thought things couldn’t get gayer

An INSPIRED choice

AN INSPIRED CHOICE!!

Will Schuester casting himself in a high school production of Rocky Horror is a new low — and completely unsurprising.

Always a new reason to hate Will Schuester

Oh hi Blaine

Ah yes crying as Darren Criss sings Katy Perry very normal I’m doing great yup sure absolutely

Being gay in high school was so fucking hard and I wasn’t even out. Stories like this will always! get! me! even if it’s Love Simon even if it’s Glee.

It’s not that I hate the rock numbers, it’s that I hate the men numbers

Personal essay writing

Friend: Who gave the worst performance in The Rosie O’Donnell Show presents Broadway’s Biggest Stars... At Home! A live benefit for The Actors Fund?

Me:

About once a year we’d have a sub like this and about four hundred times a year I’d fantasize about her

If I was a writer/director/EP of Glee and saw this Gwyneth Paltrow performance I might just have to marry her. Like I totally get it, Brad.

Rachel Berry definitely has started hoarding masks in January energy

My entire sexuality

Literally me after that number

Tom Holland stole his Singin’ in the Rain/Umbrella performance from Glee???

Me: I’ve never seen Glee.

Me, two weeks into quarantine:

THIS CASTING

Finally an answer to the question: What do Carol Burnett and Britney Spears have in common?

2010 was a different time OKAY 😭

Emma: *big speech about highlighting the diversity of talent on the team*

Will: Sam and Quinn are my new stars!

Even when he’s “doing things differently” this no-longer-a-surprise entrance is Will’s only move

I’m not sorry I doubted Will, but I am sorry I doubted the Glee Club.

This was P E R F E C T

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere I say to myself as I begin the day with Glee

If my roommates were annoyed with me singing Journey just wait until I start with the Christmas songs

I would like to request “Changing My Major” from the Tony Award-winning musical Fun Home

Is Glee turning me into a twink

That was a terrible episode of television.

What’s freakin’ weird is they keep talking about Kesha but not singing Kesha. Times are tough. Please give me what I want.

Mood.

I’d let you make me feel better, Rachel.

Finn and Quinn get back together, Sam returns to whatever WASPy wonderland he emerged from, and Rachel dates me

Blaine if you break my baby Kurt’s heart I will destroy you

Santana!!

Sorry Rachel, Santana is my new favorite.

The most realistic thing about Glee is that these theatre kids are so! horny!

May I request that Brittany always wear suspenders?

Kiss me?

I’m sorry the longer I’m in quarantine the hornier this thread is getting

What if I just screenshot everything she says

Rachel is singing again and I am in love with her again

When you’re gay or a Capricorn or both

I can’t believe this GIF is in response to Sam singing Justin Bieber and not Brittany wearing suspenders

Rachel Berry’s To-Do List

THIS WAS THE BEST

3 Kesha mentions, 0 Kesha songs 😤

When I decided to stop shaving my armpits during quarantine

Great song

Rachel Berry is iconic

FINALLY

Me, now and always

Really thought a show about a high school Glee Club was safe for quarantine celibacy! Did not account for hot teachers, hot moms, and all the teenagers being 20-somethings!

Of course Ryan Murphy personally directed Darren Criss dancing around in bubbles

Bush confidence

Who amongst us

Just when I thought I was getting too horny Will Schuester saved me by covering Prince. Thanks Matthew Morrison for your complete lack of sex appeal.

How was this even gayer than I dreamed it could be??

😭😭😭

You’re free to join us, Rachel.

This sex talk between Kurt and his dad!! I don’t have any feelings left to give, Glee!! 😭

Sorry I’m just a teen on Tumblr (1/4)

Sorry I’m just a teen on Tumblr (2/4)

Sorry I’m just a teen on Tumblr (3/4)

Sorry I’m just a teen on Tumblr (4/4)

Okay that episode was a lot. I’m going to go be gay and cry. Have a good night everyone.

Me, preparing myself after the last episode

It is, in fact, better than “My Headband”

When you definitely love your boyfriend

GASP

I am DYING at Brittany saying her favorite song of all time is “My Headband”

(And of course Santana’s is “You Oughta Know”)

Me, writing another tweet about TV’s Glee

I’m so proud of baby Kurt and his angelic voice 😭

Oh, Rachel. 💔

As someone who runs like 70% on spite I deeply adored this corny song

RACHEL

My type 😍

Me, posting thirst traps before I started writing for Autostraddle

The quarantine caption writes itself

The quarantine caption writes itself

This was a serious tweet about my OCD being really bad right now, but don’t worry I’m sure when Santana is on screen or Rachel sings I’ll get back to horniness.

Horny again!

On today’s episode of Glee the part of my mother will be played by this doctor

Brittany is wearing suspenders again! Brittany is wearing suspenders again!

This I Feel Pretty/Unpretty mashup is so well done 🥺

Santana. Lopez.

Kurt has the key to my heart. Actually it’s five keys and he turned them into collar tips.

Feeeeelings

FEEEEELINGS

How is this show real?

OH OKAY 😭

Me, waking up the past 17 days

I’ve often said this

Me 😞

Fun fact: I asked someone to prom junior year and she said yes and told everyone and was very excited. But then her popular group friends said if she went with me she couldn’t be in their limo so she canceled and went with some guy named Landon. And that’s why I love Glee!

Who knew Glee would be the perfect show to watch in March 2020

They’re singing Rebecca Black’s Friday.

Me, to my junior prom date

Fuck prom! Fuck high school!

I’m mostly Rachel/Kurt but I definitely have some Santana in my chart

I am Rachel in this picture

Santana being half Amy Winehouse half Fleetwood Mac makes a lot of sense

Me, every time I get in the shower since starting Glee

This is exactly what it feels like to be a sad suburban teen who knows that everything will be okay if you can just get to New York and then all of a sudden you’re in New York and even though you’ll grow to hate Times Square in that moment it’s perfect

All my friends the minute they eat an edible

Me, in my freshman year writing class at NYU

I know I’m in a fragile place because this terrible mashup is making me emotional

Have I mentioned that I love this show?

I’m pretty sure Rachel is a Capricorn sun/Leo rising, but that might just be because I’m a Capricorn sun/Leo rising.

Date Finn your senior year and then breakup when you leave for New York. It’s not that complicated, Rachel.

While I’m sad they lost, the most important thing you can learn in high school is how to lose.

Oh THIS is how it feels to ship

Season two of Glee is now one of my all time favorite seasons of television

Best Episode: Duets
Worst Episode: A Very Glee Christmas
Horniest Episode: Britney/Brittany
Best Character: Kurt Hummel
Worst Character: Jacob Ben Israel
Favorite Number: “Landslide”

I can’t believe I’m saying this but thank God they finally fucked

Important Announcement: I am now attracted to Quinn Fabray

Me, when Quinn walked in with her new look

Also wow guess Emma and Will still haven’t had sex?? It’s been 45 episodes.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been inside for 19 days

Is Brittany a Cancer or a Pisces??

I missed this voice and this smile during the months-long* hiatus

*30 hour

This is how happy I am that Idina is back

There’s literally no excuse to have them play Maria in the year of our lord 2011 buuuuut anytime these two sing a duet it adds a year to my life

Nooo Kurt! If you’re auditioning for Tony you need to choose a song that shows you can play that part and sing in that range!!

Me, in high school getting ready to go with some guy friends to our local pizza place

Burt Hummel wins Best Dad Award third year in a row

Could Quinn have rejoined Glee Club while keeping her hot new look? 😔

Every Mercedes storyline wouldn’t have to be about how she’s underappreciated if the creators of Glee didn’t underappreciate Amber Riley

Glee is so lucky they found Heather Morris — and so. are. we.

Every episode should have a dueling ballad!

My high school double-cast all the lead roles! There was still a lot of drama but it definitely helped!

Inviting his girlfriend’s parents to dinner when she explicitly said she didn’t want to see them is quite possibly the worst thing William Schuester has ever done.

Yay!

I think Mercedes’ decision to turn down the part would’ve resonated more if she’d been given matinees instead of equal shows!

The Coronavirus is like

Santana has this note from Brittany in her locker!!

Did Matthew Morrison fuck up his eyebrows or start doing a bunch of coke? Why does he look weird

There is an Irish boy who Brittany assumes is a leprechaun singing “It’s Not Easy Being Green” and I think I have an idea what ~bad Glee~ is going to be like

Lesbians!

Walking into a gay house party like

Officially sold on this storyline

If Artie doesn’t stop asking inappropriate sexual questions to all of his collaborators he just might... achieve a lucratively successful directing career. 🙃

What a time to become bicurious

Much like myself, Rachel Berry is a far more interesting character when she’s single

Never mind she’s always perfect

The showmance we deserve

When I have a heart-to-heart at Gay Asstrology instead of hooking up with a stranger

Take me baby

I want Santana to hurt me

Okay but after she hurts me can I give her a hug 🥺

The Mash Off raised an important question: Should cishet men exist?

That was REMARKABLE

Don’t out people and you won’t get slapped. Seems simple to me.

I’m sorry I can’t get over how good that number was. There are people? Actual people? Who stopped watching Glee after season 2? And just? Haven’t? Seen? That?

Here you go!!

This episode is called “I Kissed a Girl” and I bet I’m going to like it!

Has Bernie considered doing a great duet in the cafeteria?

Never change, Santana. (Except, like, on your own terms.)

When I stopped my Buffy watch and started this Glee watch

Finn Hudson just said that he doesn’t want Santana to become a gay suicide statistic because she was the first person he had sex with and that means something to him. He actually just said that. He said those words. With his mouth.

And now he’s singing a sad cover of Girls Just Want to Have Fun and I’m not sure what Santana nor I did to deserve this??

Rachel, you don’t get to participate in this number unless you make out with Santana right now.

Weird that a show made mostly by white cis gay men invented a wish fulfillment fantasy of familial acceptance for Kurt but is making Santana suffer. Wonder what that could be about!

When you haven’t seen your buddy online

As good an excuse as any to make sure everyone has seen one of the all time great movies of all time: Magic Mike XXL

I love being gay!!

Just realized they’re graduating the same year I graduated and got very emotional!!

I’m tipsy and about to watch this Christmas special. The last Christmas special was my least favorite episode so far. Wish. Me. Luck.

I joke about being in love with Rachel because I’m so painfully attracted to Lea Michele but she’s actually my nightmare girlfriend

When my friends who follow me on Spotify express concern

I wish I had a holiday roommate instead of roommate roommates

I’m so happy oh my god

When I found out how long it takes to create a vaccine

After the completion of this line I shouted “Jesus FUCKING Christ, Finn!” and my roommates texted me

EPISODE STARTING STRONG

Read @KaylaKumari and I on why we loved Grease so much as gay children
autostraddle.com/why-did-we-lov…

You’re asking your girlfriend’s abusive parents’ permission to marry her?? Are there no limits to your awful, William?

Weird how love didn’t exist but now it does

Will is telling Emma he’s not sure if he wants to get married because of her OCD and can I just

The only people who should be getting married in this episode are me and Santana

Straight couples on Tinder

Santana is the only one who deserves to have Rihanna’s words in her mouth

This episode is all about Michael Jackson, but look at Santana in a leather jacket!

Big if true

😭

Ricky Martin is going to singlehandedly break up the Rachel/Finn engagement

Me, 12, supposedly heterosexual

This number was a necessary reward for making it through this episode

Santana is the only one who calls Will out and it’s always such a relief

Happy Valentine’s Day! 😍

I’m way more excited about Brian Stokes Mitchell which is how you know I love musical theatre

Objectively the best gift

Friend: What kind of movies do you like?

Me:

Let Santana kiss her girlfriend, you monsters!!

Santana said straight rights!

I’d be enjoying this more if she hadn’t just been randomly homophobic. It’s almost like the Glee writers room was entirely white and never knew what to do with Mercedes?

Maybe love really is love??

I’m twenty minutes into the Karofsky suicide episode and I could use a hug.

Grateful for this one joke moment of levity.

I don’t care about her canon birthday Rachel Berry is a Capricorn

❤️

I’m so relieved that Karofsky didn’t die. That finality isn’t necessary to tell the story of gay teen suicide.

I wish the same thoughtfulness had been given to Candy on Pose. I really, really do.

What the actual fuck???? Is every new episode of Glee going to be about a character almost dying??? Is THIS why @carmencitaloves and @theheatherhogan wanted me to stop after the Valentine’s Day episode??

Our teenage leads were getting MARRIED whyyy did we need more drama??

Me, deciding not to stop Glee while it’s still good

I don’t forget, Bomer.

Thinking about all the kids out there who won’t get to have Senior Ditch Day this year. The true victims of the Coronavirus. 💔💔💔

For anyone into men or like me exclusively into Darren Criss here he is being emotional in the shower

I am Rachel and Finn is the television show Glee

I have never had lower expectations for a storyline

Defining disco with Saturday Night Fever is racist, homophobic, deeply ahistorical, and completely unsurprising! I hate it!

This is now a Brittana fan account

Straight people are wild

Brittany!!

This was perfect. 😭

Me, drunk. Also: me, sober.

Giving the fans what they want!! (It’s me. I’m the fans.)

Who is this guy and why does he keep showing up on my TV screen??

When the straight girl in show choir is getting a bit too touchy in front of your girlfriend

Actually Kurt this is worse than cheating sorry babe

Finally!

Rachel Berry’s Vision Board

Boogie Nights (Paul Thomas Anderson, 1997)

But, oh, I love my life!

Cell Block Santana gets her own tweet!

You better let my baby into your school, Whoopi!

I am devastated.

In awe of Glee’s ability to be the best show ever and the worst show ever within a single episode

When I was in high school it felt like my only escape was to get a scholarship to NYU. And then I didn’t even get into their high school summer program! I eventually got into the school (with a scholarship!) and I’m sure Rachel will be fine but I’m still having feelings!!

It’s wild how teenagers are taught that if they can’t go into debt at the place of their choosing their lives will be over. 🙃

When I remember I won’t be seeing Kesha next month

I didn’t even get to be a girl, Rachel, how do you think I felt

Did somebody say Kesha??

Rachel is spending the weeks before graduation cornering the prettiest girls in school and professing her love.

It’s very gay.

Am i getting emotional because Rachel Berry won a rigged prom election god it’s been a day

The prom queens of my heart

Assimilation is a bitch

Rachel singing a love song to herself is what I missed on Glee

Me, realizing why the Glee IMDb page has all the actors playing multiple characters

Would I have been into Goth Rachel in high school? Absolutely. Am I into Goth Rachel now? Absolutely.

Me, watching Glee

This is porn to me

Lea Michele’s voice is one of my favorite things ever

Gay Rights

Same.

I remember when Rachel Berry was just a sophomore who could feel the clock ticking away and didn’t want to leave high school with nothing to show for it 😭😭😭

Sweet lady victory kisses

Will I be getting very emotional during this finale even though I only started the show a month ago? Definitely.

Kurt went from being one of the most annoying characters to being one of my favorite characters and I am very proud of this fictional twink

Every gay deserves a Burt 😭

That’s my motto

I knew it!

As someone terrified every time I fall in love that it’ll be a distraction from my larger goals, Rachel choosing Finn over NYADA is actually killing me.

Think about the parents who watched this show with their kids. Think about the impact that had on young queers, young artists. Think about the kids who DIDN’T watch this with their parents but saw there was another way — saw the support they deserved and knew to trust themselves.

I’m actually a romantic, so even though I care more about Rachel’s career — and dislike Finn — I do really feel for her 🥺

You made it, babe.

Well, season three is done and I am emotional!

Best Episode: Mash Off
Worst Episode: I Kissed a Girl
Horniest Episode: Dance with Somebody
Best Character: Santana Lopez
Worst Character: Finn Hudson
Favorite Number: “Rumor Has It/Someone Like You”

Quarantine Day 32

There’s the Glee I know and love

Sir, kindly step away from my wife and only return once you add an ounce of charm to that jawline

Kate Hudson and I have the same taste in women

Be honest if I like season four of Glee will I lose all credibility as a TV critic

Tired: Do you want to have FaceTime sex?

Wired:

Me, making quarantine plans

Supergirl is no Lea Michele, but I like new boy better than Finn and Puck

Me, on quarantine Tinder

It’s the little things 😿

Marley understands what Glee Club is all about: singing passive aggressive songs to the boy you like

If you play your quarantine cards right this could be us 😏

Oh yes I’ve heard that

I love Brittana but these kids are in high school and I have no problem with Brittany dating Sam while Santana explores a world of gay possibilities

Me, trying to enjoy this mediocre episode knowing it’s just going to get worse

Love you Britt but Santana should be in New York sorry

Me, to... everyone?

Break my fucking heart Blaine!!!

Charlie Bucket’s grandparents seem sad

I hate

1) Will
2) men
3) anyone who asks their partner to choose between their career and their relationship

Okay okay okay okay fine maybe some love is supposed to last forever

Me, listening to new Fiona Apple on Friday

Okay okay okay okay I’m back to being a smart adult and I support Santana in this mature decision/hooking up with Virginia Woolf girl

But I still feel like this

Who knows where things will go but I support a show for teens encouraging independence, boundaries, and moving on from first love!

During this pandemic it’s important to focus on what‘s within our control. For example, I cannot sleep, but I can watch Glee.

When Hollywood keeps trusting Tom Hooper to direct the year’s biggest musical

Mr. Knightley is like

*extremely ma’am doesn’t your husband have nipples voice* SUE DON’T YOU HAVE A URETHRA??

I’d hate this Finn mentors another boring white boy storyline even if Blake Jenner wasn’t an abuser. But now it is truly unbearable.

Me, to Ryan Murphy as he ruins both Glee and Grease

Why isn’t Mercedes in LA??

Finn casting Ryder over Jake because he sees Ryder as a younger version of himself is a commentary on the ways white male directors sustain white supremacist patriarchy in the industry through selective mentorship. In! This! Essay! I! Will!

Sam Gold’s Ivo van Hove-esque production of The Glass Menagerie was better than all of van Hove’s own work and that is my hottest theatre take from my 6.5 years in New York

Me, as a child, trying to convince my parents that my Grease obsession was a totally normal boy thing

All these alums spending so much time at their high school is actually making me nauseous

Than star in your high school’s production of Grease after you’ve graduated because the principal didn’t want a trans girl to play the part? Sorry, Santana, I think that might actually be the worst thing! For multiple reasons!

Three years HRT

I wished on a monkey’s paw that Will would disappear and now Finn is wearing sweater vests and getting more screen time than Rachel

Kitty reminds me of my high school bullies way more than all the slushie throwers and it’s honestly kind of triggering??

All these years I thought she booked Supergirl off of Whiplash

The show is still good when Darren Criss sings 🤷🏻‍♀️

Guess who cried during this Homeward Bound/Home reunion mash up!

This would hit a lot harder if 3 out of 5 hadn’t been involved in the school musical literally two weeks ago

Me, to my vibrator

(gasps)

I WAS PREPARED FOR THE KIKI BUT NOT THE TURKEY LURKEY

Whenever Glee takes on ~serious topics~ I can never tell if I’m upset because I’m supposed to be or if I’m upset because they’re being manipulative, cruel, and the worst kind of sentimental.

Anyway Marley’s anorexia storyline is really, really rough!

Nooo Sue don’t try to destroy Glee Club again ur so sexy aha

Sorry Brittana stans but in 2012 it was super rare for bisexual characters to actually be treated like they’re bisexual so I support Brittany and Sam!

Also it’s way queerer to rebound with your ex’s ex than some random girl anyway!

My sister’s future dyke tomboy best friend danced to All That Jazz at their recital and I’m pretty sure it’s responsible for my entire sexuality

When people ignore Autostraddle in articles about women’s media

Happy National Horny Day to meeeee

THIS SHOW IS NONSENSE AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!

It's fascinating reading @autowin's recap for this episode and imagining how I'd feel about Brittany/Sam in a context where I didn't know this season was going to be bad –– where I might have hoped to even see Santana's college lesbian escapades!
autostraddle.com/glee-recap-410…

Dad!!

I’m not going to lie to you — I gasped and grabbed one of my tits

Have I been in quarantine for three years or have I just watched three Glee Christmas specials?

I take back my Brittany/Sam generosity! This is pissing me off! There was a way to do this storyline well and they are not doing it well.

Worth a try, Tina!

When I was a freshman someone asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance and I said no because I was still recovering from my injury and was just generally depressed. She looked so sad! I should’ve just said yes!

Thank you, Glee, for reminding me of yet another bad high school memory.

Glee why are you like this 🤦🏻‍♀️

Deeeeeply triggering

Rachel, you‘re bonkers and I adore you.

Rachel is finally with someone good enough for her

It took Glee four seasons to get a straight guy who isn’t repulsive

So glad we brought Quinn and Santana back just so they can slut-shame Rachel

My gold stars are a metaphor for ME being a star.

Emma is a Libra!

NYU film students are like

I wish the men who write this show weren’t completely failing Santana’s character this season

I love sports*!

*when two characters on Glee sing the same song in a head-to-head competition

I keep shouting “He’s gay!!” like I’m one of my high school bullies passing by me in the hall

Jayma Mays deserved an Emmy for creating such a resonate character despite writers who didn’t understand women or mental illness

Marianne falling in love

I joke about Will being the worst but since they got together his behavior around Emma’s mental illness has been irredeemably upsetting. He’s not ha ha the worst, he’s actually the worst and I miss John Stamos.

Jake and Ryder should just be in a throuple with Marley. They’re already bros.

Blaine gets it!

What a beautiful couple 😍

Are they about to...?

ARE THEY ABOUT TO...???

I love weddings!

I LOVE WEDDINGS!!!

I haven’t been this turned on since Rachel won the Winter Showcase

Why is Ali Stroker only in one episode and why didn’t she get a song??

Just learned I’m capable of groaning and sighing at the same time

Fun fact: Todd Haynes developed the visual style for Carol based on this shot

Where can I buy Artie’s astrology sweater vest??

The heartbreaking story of a 40-year-old man and his 19-year-old best friend who kissed his fiancée, yes, yes, a very normal plotline on a very normal show

Good advice

Imagine getting the prompt “Santana Lopez in New York” and the story you come up with is “shames a sex worker”

Shouting “He’s 19!!”

Knowing Glee this could actually be what happens next

Will feuding with his 19-year-old bestie, Sue singing Nicki Minaj, a ton of cringey Unique stuff, Santana in NYC totally squandered, and Finn assaulting Brody because he does sex work.

If I wasn’t bingeing the show a decade late this is the episode where I would’ve given up.

☺️🔪😘

I’d buy that calendar

I’m so tired

Does Blaine know he’s Darren Criss? Because he might want to just go for it with Sam.

Sure, he’s straight, but when you’re Darren Criss what’s a label?

Glee is back to having zero good straight men #TeamRyder #killme

Yes I literally do

I suffer and I suffer and I suffer but finally a reward

Ryder has absolutely been chatting with Unique and not this blonde girl right lol

THIS IS FUCKING AWFUL I HATE THIS LITERALLY NO ONE NEEDED THIS WHY

I want to cry because Rachel booked Funny Girl NOT because there’s a fucking school shooting Jesus Christ

Finally we can get back to the only thing that matters: Rachel’s career

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of Shelby helping Rachel with her Funny Girl audition, it was the age of Will screaming transphobic things at a room of teenagers because they don’t want to sing Hall and Oates again

Glee is a lot like life. Sometimes there’s a school shooting, sometimes you get to sing a duet with your mom, Idina Menzel.

Yup! That’s how it works!

Oo I hope she sings Loser Like Me

OKAY I TEARED UP

And I got a serotonin! (laughing)

I’m going to need you all to pretend that in the hours when I’m not watching Glee I’m accomplishing all sorts of important tasks

Why aren’t we seeing THIS in the episodes??

I’m sorry I just need to, um.

Ryder tells the Glee Club that he was molested when he was 11. All the boys say he should be happy for living their fantasy. Ryder says oh yeah nevermind.

AND WILLIAM FUCKING SCHUESTER JUST SITS THERE LOOKING UNCERTAIN??

I know how Cherry Jones would feel about Santana

Santana + ballet + A Chorus Line = what this show could be all the time if it just wanted to be good

Me, thinking about how my parents signed me up for every sport but never dance even though I was obsessed with watching my sister’s classes and my favorite movie in middle school was The Red Shoes

Me: Can Mercedes get a storyline worthy of Amber Riley’s talents?

The Glee writers:

🤔

Thinking about the In the Heights movie 😭😭😭

Thanks, Burt. I really needed to hear that right now. 😢

Just be gay, Rachel! It can be a choice!

I’d say same but it’s literally impossible for me to love you more.

i hate this so much

Die, Will.

Sure it is, Jim.

It’s no Get It Right! Sorry!

Who gives a fuck about Will and Emma getting married?? Did Rachel book Funny Girl????????

Well, that’s the end of season four and it was rough! But it wasn’t alllllll bad.

Best Episode: The Break-Up
Worst Episode: Feud
Horniest Episode: I Do
Best Character: Rachel Berry
Worst Character: Kitty Wilde
Favorite Number: “Being Good Isn’t Good Enough”

I shouldn’t be this happy for a fictional character! And yet!

What! It was just another audition! I’ve been tricked! I can’t handle this emotional roller coaster! We’re in a pandemic! Give Rachel the part! Ugh!

I am upset! 😤

Now I’m upset for new reasons

Okay but they’re still the cutest

There is good Glee nonsense and bad Glee nonsense and Rachel performing The Beatles at a singing diner for the star and director who rejected her is good Glee nonsense

I hate public proposals but damn what a line

These children are stressing me the fuck out

Episode 6 of The L Word: Generation Q

Hmm, yes, very true

It’s weird how two months ago I’d never seen an episode of Glee and now I’ve seen more Glee than anyone who doesn’t hate themself.

Me, admitting my Darren Criss bisexuality is mostly for jokes

A real moral dilemma, Santana.

GLEE IS GOOD

Dani is all I care about

I love dirty talk

Glee would still be a great show if it took place entirely in New York

Happy Lesbian Visibility Day! I hope the next episode is all about Dani and Santana so I can properly celebra— OH GOD IT’S THE FINN DEATH EPISODE

Me, telling myself the world needs another horny lesbian who loves movies

I know it’s been almost 50 days since I kissed someone because these straight people making out gave me actual chills

No.

I am absolutely going to watch the Funny Girl movie this week, aren’t I?

Gays expressing gratitude for our coping mechanisms

Bathroom Gender Riot is a terrible band name

Did I just pause this episode to watch Ariana Grande sing Still Hurting from The Last Five Years? I did. And if you’ve read this whole thread you shouldn’t be surprised.

Worst. Footloose. Remake. Ever.

Funny this is also the face I made watching Will Schuester sing Blurred Lines with a group of high school students

Okay fine I cried

I’ve been staring at these images for several minutes and I just have nothing to possibly say

Lima Glee is so bad, but New York Glee remains so, so good.

If only!

I slept a total of four hours last night

Promise not to judge when I make a Darren Criss Glee playlist

Rachel Berry is one of the horniest characters in TV history

When I matched with a zoologist on Tinder

Here’s the thing about Avenue Q: There’s a Fine, Fine Line is a great song

Was there a gas leak in the Glee writers room?

It’s April 29th and I’m horny for Christmas elves

Me, in quarantine after ten minutes of work

Glee‘s fifth season/the year 2020

Not sure this song made any thematic sense, but look how pretty!

That one time I ran an errand looking like actual garbage and someone said “Oh my God Drew Gregory! I love your L Word podcast!”

FUCK YES

Naya Rivera was like suck it Lea

Rachel, it’s okay. It’s just who we are.

Rachel and Santana arguing about their careers and it ending in a slap is just a lot for me personally. I’m going to go take a cold shower.

I would also love for things to get physical

Okay okay okay

OKAY OKAY OKAY

She doesn’t worry too much. She has OCD. Jesus you’re awful.

Is it though

Pandemics are fun!

Demi Lovato is so hot !

Look at this Mercedes storyline we could’ve watched instead of the imitation Glee Club

I love you too, Jodi Lerner!

That was a boring Nationals performance, but Darren Criss sure is handsome!

Rachel and Santana are on Broadway. You’re at fake Juilliard and also have your own band for some reason.

To quote the great Stephen Sondheim: “Move on.”

Save us, Cheno

Imagine fucking Santana and then this guy

Same, Britt. Same.

Oh oh oh oh oh ho oh oh oh oh oh

Have my Darren Criss jokes become overplayed or can I just

The fifth season should just be this

This episode is pure joy

Starting to wonder if no amount of success erases high school resentment and you actually need to work that shit out in therapy 🤔

And that’s why she has an Oscar

Santana has that effect on me too

Can someone ask me a different Glee Fuck Marry Kill this one sucks

Can they please just sing Defying Gravity again

Classic gay girls in the bathroom mirror shot

It’s what I want to do

No, I’m pretty sure that title belongs to @carmencitaloves

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth but I think Loser Like Me is a great song

Get used to it!

This is going to be me when I get back to New York in the fall(?)/2021(??)/2022(???)

Pretty sure I went to film school with these guys

It’s called sheltering in place, Blaine.

Every couple quarantined together

I miss New York so much 😭

I relate to this storyline, because there’s a professional model named Drew Gregory and I assume someday we’ll fall in love

Who’s feeling lonely right now?

Why does it take a serious message episode to get us Sondheim!

Halfway through the fifth season and the producers are finally like hmm maybe we should make Mercedes a main character

The songs are good again, but with this writing it’s barely even a

When students get cast as the lead in a Broadway show they do not stay in school!!!! I’m losing my mind!!!!

Can the next stimulus bill give each of us a Darren Criss singing “Not While I’m Around”?

When I finish Glee

Storylines in Glee episode 515:

1. Kurt is assaulted for being gay
2. Mercedes decides she can date Sam even though he’s white (does not address dating him even though he’s embarrassing)
3. Rachel struggles to do schoolwork (??) while starring in her Broadway (!!) show

Artie, you dated the hot goth girl, lost your virginity to a bisexual cheerleader, had a wedding hook up with Ali Stroker, and then you dated the head cheerleader. Shut up.

The two genders

Just fold a bandana into thirds and loop it through some hair ties

We all deserve someone like that

Julie not caring that Artie has chlamydia, but being offended he slept with bad filmmakers is incredible

When you’re gay

I love you

The storyline right now is bad, but look at Naya!

Take note: Any pep talk given to me must start with “you suck”

A full production of Lea Michele in Funny Girl > season five of Glee

Fuck you, Ben Brantley.

Okay Glee has broken me. You frame Rachel singing an emotional ballad on Broadway as a tribute to Finn — you have LEA MICHELE singing to her dead boyfriend — and then you turn it into a duet with Sue?? Because she’s on some weird date?? This is worse than the school shooting.

Rachel goes to a gay club instead of her opening night party just like Barbra

Me, rewatching the music video for Lea Michele’s “On My Way”

A Star is Born (dir. Bradley Cooper, 2018)

When you’re a devastatingly beautiful once-in-a-generation talent but the industry is so shallow and misogynistic that having a slightly large nose limits your opportunities

Literally same 😔

This is the good kind of Glee silliness

OMFG OMFG OMFG

My love for Shirley MacLaine is ALL-CONSUMING
autostraddle.com/thirsty-classi…

Ryan Murphy casting his next project

Shirley MacLaine and Darren Criss singing a Janis Joplin duet is like someone took my weirdest sexual fantasy and put it on screen

Sorry Shirley MacLaine name-dropping as she talks to Darren Criss about the impermanence of love is actually my weirdest sexual fantasy put on screen

Give it a try, Santana

The last episode was actually good, so of course now we’re singing at an animal shelter

I spared you all more screenshots from that episode. You’re welcome.

Amber Riley is singing. Heather Morris is dancing. The Glee universe has found peace.

Sometimes Glee reminds us how much talent they still had to work with and it makes this season all the more baffling

According to Instagram this is how several people are spending quarantine and I’m jealous

Harold and Maude: The Musical! Coming soon to Broadway

Do you need a place to stay? 👀

I made it through season five!

Best Episode: The Back-Up Plan
Worst Episode: Puppet Master
Horniest Episode: Frenemies
Best Character: Rachel Berry
Worst Character: Sue Sylvester
Favorite Number: “Here Comes the Sun”

When you’re not invited to the Zoom happy hour

Brian Stokes Mitchell is really acting the fuck out of this corny dialogue

Season five wasn’t THAT bad!

Immediate tears

I AM GAY

The Last Three Seasons

Whatever gets you through quarantine!

Rachel encouraging the first female Warbler to audition with Janelle Monáe is good Glee content

Make it a three time thing!

This is how I feel about Rachel Berry

I was 16 in 2010 so yes this song does make me emotional

Now you’re speaking my fucking language

Should I write a piece about 2010s baby dykes who tried scissoring because of Glee

Does this mean Dani is single?

Me: Can this show just end already??

Glee: We’re going to do an episode of Carole King/Alanis Morissette mash-ups.

Me:

I like that Glee is self-aware and yet does not give a shit

Me, to these new kids for not being Ryder

These are all very different!!

Must we do this during Carole/Alanis week? MUST WE???

I mean, especially during quarantine

Me, 9th grade, trying to make friends

DON’T tell me not to live! Just sit and putter...

Lea Michele has chemistry with literally everybody

Sure why not

I love when Glee comments on their fandom. Not weird at all.

(Also what’s with the Pezberry erasure?)

It’s remarkable how bad this is

Thinking about how long it’s going to be until we can meet people naturally out in the world

This is how a 6th grade boy would write queer women

Glee Season 2 Episode 22 personally attacking me

Leave me alone, Mercedes! We’re not even supposed to travel right now!

This level of enthusiastic friend group incest has convinced me that Sam is a woman and they’re all lesbians

This show can still be so good why doesn’t it just be good always

You haven’t been around much, but that’s actually very normal for a Glee plotline