It’s been a tricky 24hrs - an immediate family member has tested positive #covidー19uk. They’re doing OK despite underlying issues and we’ve had no physical contact, but it’s a worry because it’s clear how much just a week of self-isolation for someone on their own is tough.
It’s also striking how symptoms (literally just a cough when tested - and tested bc had been in Italy) vary. She reports no major fever, mild cough and mainly lethargy/loss of appetite.
Obviously I’d announce a national emergency if I had no appetite but the point is that many of us may well be infected but asymptomatic. So, you know, be careful and kind and all.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
🧵 🧵🧵🧵
If you’re reading about Afghanistan and feeling sick and helpless about the unimaginable situation people there are facing, now would be a good moment to donate to a refugee-supporting charity. I’m putting together some links. Take your pick. Give what your can.
Some honest reflections on parenting, from the morning quiet:
We don’t talk about how fucking hard parenting is - at an often viscerally challenging level - enough. Mental health and parenting logically go hand in hand. But there’s still stigma and pressure to look like you’re loving it, particularly when kids are young.
FWIW I fucking hated the early years. I felt trapped and overwhelmed and unsupported and ultimately, a failure, while everyone else around me acted like they were having the time of their life with their toddlers and humous and play dates.
And here it is. The crazy thing about the government standing by and letting this Ofqual debacle play out is that it amounts to nothing less than an act of mammoth, wilful harm to the nation. theguardian.com/education/2020…
In one fell swoop, the inaction of the government has (further) alienated students, and parents and undermined teachers and school heads. It has allowed grotesque social unjustice to play out in plain sight once again. And toyed with the lives and MH of thousands of young people.
Don’t even mention the inevitable self-inflicted costs of appeals it will have to foot. Or the potential financial impact on universities that can’t fill/fund their places and, you know, function. Or the effect on job markets and skewing of grade trend data.
We are a household of 3 women: 1 44yo with lifelong body shame issues and 2 teenagers. We have a rule to not comment directly about each other’s bodies.
Instead:
“You look great!”
“Your eyeliner is 🔥 today”
“YAAAASSSS”
“Loving that style journey for you”
There is no general discussion about size or weight or comparisons, positive or negative - that also means no “ooh you look so slim!” Or “your bum looks great in that!”. All food is good food, but we also talk about what is needed for balance. There are no diets, just science.
(Only recently we got bathroom scales. I had legit scales phobia but during chemo last year they weighed me so often my fear turned into curiosity. Kids now mainly use the scales for entertainment, to weigh before and after pooping 😂. I’m back to being afraid of them again.)
My happy place. 2 years ago, I came to work here, earning minimum wage to serve cups of tea because writing work had dried up while I was sick with cancer. It turned out to be so much more than a job.
I found family here, people who mean the world to me, and a place that soothes my soul. I now share it with my most loved people whenever I can. Both daughters work here, these days. Eldest is cleaning the loo while I type. It’s been good for them, and I’m grateful.
I’m sad not to work here any more, but delighted that I’ve rebuild my writing business despite the kick of further cancer last year. This is where I celebrated my birthday this time last year, mid-way through chemo but so, so happy to spend an evening to full of love here.
Re. the Adele thing: I have 2 teenage daughters and struggled horribly with my body image through my teens and 20s. It was crippling. Our rule is that we do not comment on each other’s bodies. It’s just not up for comment. Yes to cute outfit / killer eyeliner etc but that’s it.
That’s not to say we don’t talk about body image, worries, weight, how we look etc; we do. But we talk about it in an owned way. ie. unless you’ve instigated the conversation about your body, it’s not a conversation that’s happening.
Overall, that seems to give my girls a sense of ownership and safety and confidence that I certainly didn’t feel at their age. Let’s stop commenting on women’s bodies and focus on stuff that IS our business.