We have so many relationship experts who urge us not to take crumbs from romantic partners, friends, and family members.
But when will they also teach us about the ways we are conditioned to gratefully accept crumbs from governments, institutions, employers? [1]
What good is knowing that I am worthy of boundaries and safety in my relationships with other people if I believe myself to be unworthy of those same boundaries in the face of my government, my workplace, my community? [2]
If we’re taught to believe that the limit to our boundaries is institutional power - we won’t fight injustices that put us outside our comfort zone. [3]
We won’t learn how to strategically question and challenge governance designed to prioritize our profitability over our humanity and the precious nature of our human life. [4]
Boundary Work is not just individual. It’s not just interpersonal. It’s institutional too. It’s structural.
We can’t do the deep work around boundaries without understanding our relationship to power - without questioning our relationship to the institution.
Why with anti-oppression work are you still relying on oppressive RFP processes? You’re asking BIPOC consultants to spend hours on proposals unpaid. Why? What’s equitable about unpaid labor?
Here’s what I would suggest instead:
1.) Do your research. Pick 3-5 consultants you would like to work with.
2.) Invite them to a paid interview. Ask them for their hourly rate and schedule an hour to discuss your needs/your vision.
3.) Decide on an honorarium for a proposal.
4.) The honorarium should be dependent on how much information you’re requesting about the consultants methodology and process.
5.) Keep your requests simple. You don’t need a 20 page proposal - I don’t care how large your organization is. That’s not necessary.
I’m partnering with @projectinclude to lead research that looks at how remote workplaces within tech have changed since COVID-19. 1/
We’re currently leading qualitative and quantitative research to understand how employees across intersections of race, gender, class, disability, etc., are experiencing online workplaces. 2/
We are looking closely at harassing behavior, ranging from inappropriate comments to harmful behavior based on a person’s race, gender, sexual orientation, and other identities. 3/
I designed and am leading a four-part action mapping program on anti-racism and transformative organizing for the Association of College & Research Libraries. After one of my sessions this week, I got an email just as I was closing up my laptop for the night. 1/
The email was from a person thanking me for the presentation and noting a conversation we had during the program about a quote from Desmond Tutu where he says:
"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor... 2/
If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality." I asked this person if I could have their consent to share their email anonymously and they said that I could so I am sharing it here. 3/
When we uplift the knowledge and experiences of leaders just because they are Black, or just because they are queer, or just because they are women, we set ourselves up to put white supremacy culture on repeat. 1/
Being Black doesn't mean that a person is dedicated to eradicating Black communities of anti-Blackness. Being queer doesn't mean that a person cares deeply about the wellbeing and safety of queer people. 2/
Being a woman does not mean that a person is committed to learning how to love and care for women in a world where patriarchy punishes us for doing so. 3/
One of the many ways that perfectionism hurts us as Black and Brown people is by leading us to believe that we can escape the impacts of our trauma in this world. I've come to the realization that we cannot. 1/
When we're younger, it's easier to mask the ways we are negatively impacted by white supremacy. It's easier to compartmentalize the impacts of our marginalization on us. Sometimes, we hide it so well that we forget that it is even there, that we forget who we actually are... 2/
what we actually dream of, how we actually feel.
But as we begin to grow older, as we begin to grow old, the body has a way of pushing for a resurgence of trauma so that we can feel our pain and heal from it. 3/
With this announcement of Kamala Harris as Biden’s VP, I just want to acknowledge that there will be people who will be severely disappointed by this choice because of Kamala’s history with policing and prisons. 1/
There will be people who will be excited because they like Kamala and like what she stands for.
There will be people who will be neither happy nor disappointed about the announcement because they are just trying to get through another day in this world in which we live. 2/
People find and hold onto hope in their own way. We don’t have to put folks down for being excited, disappointed, angry, sad, or numb over this announcement. We can offer each other grace. 3/