Thread by @wesley__1k

My neighbor has a wife. Or a girlfriend. I’ve seen them kiss. Hold hands. All that.
During the day (when his girl is at work) I noticed another girl was coming over during the day. Didn’t think nothing of it at first. Minding my business.

But their door is like right by mine. And I see her. Every day. Come over. Stay about an hour or so and leave. So I was like mannnn let me do some detective work.

I started noticing when she was leaving she ALWAYS had her hood on. Always. And she’d scurry down the steps and go straight to her car. Quick. And then leave. He didn’t walk w her. Nothing. Just show up then leave.

Sooo one day I was walking outside and I passed her on the stairs, and the thought to tell her flashed my mind, but I was like, it’s not my business and it may not even be what it seems... let me Shutup and go to Whataburger.

So I get back from Whataburger and they are FIGHTING. And I hear him say “babe it’s me here all day long, you’re literally over thinking” and she said “Greg like I wanna believe you but I’m just not sure” and I’m like mannn, she’s on to you Greg.. bout that time she comes out

She looks at me as if she wants to ask me something, I pretend someone is calling me and I put the phone to my ear, and go in my house. And immediately drop my Whataburger and start looking out the peep hole like Anne Frank 💀😂

So she goes back inside, I hear a little more screaming and eventually they stop, so I eat, and go to bed. And thennnnn

The next day.. I go outside to my car, where I had parked in Handicap, yes I know, I shouldn’t have. Forgive me. But that’s not what this is about, well, I come downstairs there’s a cop by my car, and Greg.. and he says to the cop “it’s HIS car” points at me..

The cop asks if it’s mine, I say yes, and the cop WRITES ME A TICKET! And Greg gives me a look.. and just walks off while I’m standing there getting a ticket issued to me... like.. seriously?

So I’m sitting there thinking “oh Gregory, you have no idea what you’ve just done”

Soooo I’m just waiting.. WAITING.. until I see Greg’s wife again.. I’m throwing this man under the bus like a mechanic 😂😂 couldn’t wait!! Lmao. So I head to get food that night and what do you know. Her and I pull in at the same time.. man. Life sure is sweet Greg.

I say, “hey, uhm, you’re Greg’s wife right” she says yes why!?
And I couldn’t wait to tell her what I had plotted. 😂 been planning it all day

I said “I haven’t met you yet! I met Greg and his sister earlier today! She seems sweet!” She said “his sister?” I said “yeah! She was up there today, she’s been coming a lot lately! Sibling love ehh?” She said “Greg doesn’t have a sister”.. 💀💀💀

I said “oh man” didn’t know what else to say so I just headed upstairs.. enjoyed my food while hearing Greg be told to leave.. he’s gone, my stomach is full, and my car is in handicap.. what a life.

UPDATE COMING SOON!? If you guys need it?!

BOYYYY do I have some more for y’all! Coming real real soon, just have to get a tad more info! It’s a process but I’m doing this for y’all! BUT THIS BOUT TO BLOW YALLS MIND. OMG 💀💀💀 be on alert!!!

Everyone pls hashtag it #GregNextDoor so everyone can keep up and follow the story and update!! ITS BOUT TO BLOW YALLS MIND

THERE WILL BE AN UPDATE WITHIN THE NEXT FEW HOURS.
#Season2 #GregNextDoor

Soooooo PART 2
Yesterday, as I’m coming home, Greg’s wife (Candace) is coming down the stairs as I’m coming up... and boy was I planning a lil something... twitter influenced me to move in, and shoot my shot.

She says, “look I just want to thank you for giving me that heads up, I would have never known what was going on if it weren’t for you” and I’m thinking, “and if it weren’t for a parking ticket there’s a chance you would have NEVER known” but I ain’t say all that.

So I say “yeah no problem, the guy is a dirt bag” so she says “yeah I can agree on that” tells me her name is Candace,so I say, as coool as a cucumber, leaning against the stairs, “soo uhhh I’m guessing you’re single, can I get your number?” And boy I know I looked like a fuck

SHE LAUGHS AND GIVES IT TO ME.
So I run inside like I’m waiting for Santa or some shit, and lay on my bed and I GIVE IT NO TIME. I hit her message w a “I’m here to fill in where Greg once was” 💀😂 Dumb I know, but it worked. So we text all night like a grade school crush.

To know that Greg is out, either sleeping in his car, or at his “sisters” texting his wife seems even sweeter now. I know, I’m sick. But he deserves it. Sooo knowing she’s a wall away from me, I’m picking and choosing on what I say to her. So she says “we should hang tomorrow”

So I say, ehh it’s a long trip over there, but I think I can make it.
Next morning comes. But then I thought to myself, there’s NO WAY I’m going in that house. Greg could come home any second. It’s still technically his wife. Im not going in there, at all. I broke them up.

So at this point she’s saying, “so are you coming over” and I TELL HER IM NOT HOME. But I can literally hear her walking in her living room. So I’m hiding and sneaking around my living room like Bin Laden. HIDING.

So I’ve made my mind up. I’m not going over there. Nothing is gonna make me go! Too risky!

So anyways, I walk in her house, smells a Greg.. I’m nervous. I feel like it’s a set up. Is he in the closet? IM IN ENEMY TERRITORY AT THIS POINT

So I keep bringing up that I’m hungry, so we can LEAVE!!! She says “where do you wanna eat? I want KFC” I’m thinking WHO IN THE FUCK says that? But I say “mm yes. KFC is fine w me” BC I WANTED OUT OF THERE ID EAT ANYTHING AT THIS POINT”

Sooo she keeps saying “I’ll drive, I’ll drive” which is more than fine w me bc her snitch cheater of a husband got my pockets hurting w this ticket. So I’m like yeah that’s cool, let’s ride! But still nervous. 100%

SO HERES WHERE THINGS GET CRAZY. Obviously, drive thru is the only thing open Bc the whole virus getting passed around like a baseball. So we go thru, order our food, as we pull up to the window, GREG IS WORKING THE DRIVE THRU 💀💀💀😂😂

Now I know she did not just.. she knew wtf she was doing!! Did she just MATCH my level of pettiness. YES SHE DID. so I’m staring at greg w a fucking chicken little in my hand and I’m shaking my head like.. yeaaah Greg. Dis my shit now. 💀

Now I didn’t want to act tough, I actually was gonna say “haha hey.. uhh Greg. Small world ehh? You know what, it’s actually pretty crazy, I just found out Candace is MY sister. Haha funny right? What a family picture” but no. I had to double down at this point 💀💀💀

So I bite the SHIT out my chicken little, just lookin at this mf. And I’m just waiting for her to put it in drive. But she over here asking for honey mustard!! 😂😂😂

So FINALLY she drives off and I said “uhh so you did that on purpose or” and she said oh of course, I wanted to let him know he’s not the only one capable of getting someone else.
So I’m thinking, damn. I’m just a statistic at this point 💀💀😂😂 she don’t even want me

So we get back to the house, and we chillin in her living room, I’m not even hungry, but I didn’t know what tf else to do so I’m force feeding myself this damn chicken... so she start telling me some shit y’all. GREG HAS A PAST. A BAD ONE. 💀💀😂😂 Yo why tf am I here

She talking bout HE BEAT HER BEFORE. HE HAD A ROBBERY CHARGE. ANGER PROBLEMS.
I’m like yoooo now you wanna tell me this shit. So she still talking and I’m not even trynna hear this shit anymore. I’m plotting on how to leave before War Machine shows up 💀😂😂😂💀

THIS MF CAME KNOCKING. HARD. TWISTING THE DOOR HANDLE. Talking bout “Candace me and your friend need to have a talk” I’m thinking who tf is ur friend at this point cause it ain’t me! She talkin bout “don’t worry he doesn’t have a key”

Listen. This mf don’t need a key. If he want in HE GONE GET IN. So I’m scared af. Can’t jump out the window cause she UP stairs and I’ll be damned if this mf didn’t yell “imma give that mf a reason to park in handicap” 💀😂 okay Gregory, clever. I’ll give you that one. 💀😂💀

So I’m like look. Don’t answer the door. He’s out there. I’m in here. And you gonna have to perform a C-Section to get me out this bitch 💀💀💀💀 my ass is staying RIGHT HERE. So this crazy bitch talking bout “let’s just watch a movie and ignore him”

She dead ass looks at me smiling and said what type of movie you wanna watch? Scary?
I SAY SURPRISE ME CANDACE... SURPRISE ME.. you’ve done good w surprised so far. Meanwhile he still banging like the Jehovah Witness.. and I’m stuck inside watching children of the corn w psycho

Now a couple of days ago, I felt bad for this woman. HORRIBLE. But ya know, I’m starting to think they belong together. They go so well together. I don’t belong here. I WANNA GO HOME. I HATE IT HERE.

So I am stuck in the house like Kevin McCallister, with no plans of how I’m getting next door. Watching children of the corn, with cousin IT outside somewhere, she’s saying “he probably went home “ THIS IS HIS HOME CANDACE.

So as of now. I’m in candaces home. In Greg’s spot. Where I thought would be lovely to be.. typing this AS IM IN CANDACES. Just waiting. Hoping. Somehow. I can get home tonight. I’m waiting it out guys. Thanks for getting me in this situation. Pray for me.