#WhyIDidntReport
Story Time: My rape experience:
My boyfriend for 3 years, he literally ghosted me, packed all his shit up when I was at work, and left town with his "friend" which later I found out was his side dude. He changed his number and didn't respond to his email.
Story Time: My rape experience:
My boyfriend for 3 years, he literally ghosted me, packed all his shit up when I was at work, and left town with his "friend" which later I found out was his side dude. He changed his number and didn't respond to his email.
He was gone for 5 months, and I didn't hear from him at all until he showed up late one night out of the blue. I worked a double this day, 7am - 3pm, 3pm - 11pm at a residential treatment facility. It's about a 40 minute drive from work to home, so I made home around 12am.
As I pulled in front of my house, my censors usually turn my porch lights on but this night it didn't come on. I thought it blew out. As I got to my front door, I released the light bulb was gone. I chuckled, I'm like who steals a porch light but it was Newport news, so expected.
I put the keys in to open the door when I saw a dark shadow appeared from the side of my house which scared the shit out me but then that shadow turned into a 6'7 man, it was my ex boyfriend. I asked him what he wanted, he said he wanted to talk, he smelled & he was drunk
I told him he needed to leave and maybe we can talk later. He refused, he wanted to talk now. I turned my back to walk into my house when he punch the back of my head so hard it hit the door which left me dazed. He hit me again which knocked mr off my feet. I couldn't even scream
He dragged me up to second floor, my back hit every step, when we arrived to the top of the steps he just started punching and kicking me, I was still dazed, bloody and in pain. He dragged me to my bedroom where he took my clothes off. With no lube he forced himself inside me.
He aggressively raped me. After he was done, he rolled over, kissed my cheeks and fell asleep. I literally laid there in his semen, sweat, my blood & tears. I stared at the ceiling for 6 hours as he slept sound as a baby. Around 6am he got up, got dressed, said he's sorry & left
When I heard my front door closed, I got up and locked my bedroom door where I stayed for 3 days. I didn't eat. I didn't drink anything. I didn't use the bathroom. I didn't leave my room. I really had to use the bathroom on the 4th day. I saw my face and bruises for the 1st time.
I had 2 swollen eyes, bloody nose, busted lips, 2 knots at the back of my head, bruises on my body from his punches and my back full of pain from being dragged up a flight of steps. The first time urinating was painful & defecating was worse. Blood everywhere, pain was shocking.
As he raped me I literally felt my anus tear open. I was just broken. I was embarrassed. I was angry. I was hurt. I was in pain and even though I had a village I stood alone. Many didn't know I was gay and revealing my rape meant revealing my sexuality. I wasn't ready for that.
I know Virginia was a conservative state and being gay was a no. As a black gay man, I couldn't walk into a police station and report a rape. So for 2 weeks I self healed. I didn't speak to anyone, not even my mom. I took off from work saying I was attacked and robbed.
Going into the third week, I started throwing up, having diarrhea, feeling sick. I knew I couldn't go to the hospital, they would want to make a rape report, so I went Planned Parenthood for service. The woman at the desk already knew based on my bruises something happened.
She tested me for everything, and my blood and feces was mixing which was creating a bacterial infection that was slowly destroying my insides. They gave me a penicillin shot. They also provided an in house therapist for me until I found one. Planned parenthood saved my life.
With all I was going through, I had enough, I attempted suicide because life had become too much. The rape was enough for me to say I was done. After surviving this suicide attempt I went and found therapist who coached me back to life.
I was also a victim of molestation, which is why I dedicated my professional career for advocating for adolescents but none of that prepared me on how to deal with being raped. I really didn't think life after the rape was worth it but through counseling, it saved & empowered me.
This is why I dedicated my professional work and advocacy in telling my truth because I know the feeling of mental prison of drowning in emotional pain. I want people to know they're not alone. Others exist, millions survived. It's not an easy journey and some don't make it.
Thanks for reading ❤❤❤
