Thread by @garwboy

So here's a thread about a funny thing that happened just now

As the weather is good, we were out in the garden enjoying the evening sun. Our neighbours were out too. As were all our pets

Pickle was in our garden, the neighbour's dog was in theirs

As was their parrot

/1

I didn't know they even had a parrot, but they do. A big green one. Turns out he's around 50 years old, he's the husband's childhood parrot, they took over looking after him last winter. So that's nice

And now he's outside in his big cage, enjoying the weather

/2

The neighbour's dog (pictured) is a lovely big one, he's paying the parrot no attention, he's used to it. My 8yo son is loving seeing it though, peering over the fence and asking all about it

(From 2+ metres away, don't worry)

/3

At this point Pickle realises people are paying attention to something that isn't him, and he disagrees with this

He leaps into their garden, and up onto the patio table. The dog usually stands on there, but Pickle stares him down until he thinks better of it, and skulks off

/4

The neighbours know and like Pickle, and have given up complaining about him 'bullying' their (relatively massive) dog.

"He's quite a 'bold' cat, Pickle, isn't he" observes wife neighbour. I just not wearily.

/5

At this point Pickle finally notices the massive green bird in the middle of their garden

Ever seen a cat's eyes widen in surprise? It's actually quite unsettling. And this is a fearless dickhead whose brought down pigeons over half his size. He likes what he sees

/6

Seconds later he's climbing all over the parrots cage, trying to find a way in. Neighbours seem surprisingly unconcerned

"It's fine, he's safe. Pickle can't get in there". But if any cat can figure it out it's my furry renegade. I'm a bit panicked, to be honest

/7

What's also surprising is that the parrot himself seems very unconcerned about the literal predator barely half a metre from him, held back by only flimsy little bars

He's a 50 year old family pet though. Maybe he's used to cats? Regardless, I'm worried about how this ends

/8

Here's the thing, though. Why are parrots popular pets and a staple of cartoons the world over?

Because they talk. Everyone knows that.

But you know who didn't know that? My cat

/9

So Pickle is trying to get his claws into a large bird, and then the large bird looks right at him, and really loudly says "HELLO! WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" (which is what my son had been yelling at it for 20 minutes)

/10

Judging by the way he flew off the cage backwards and sprinted back into our house (nearly colliding with the dog and the fence en route), I'm guessing Pickle wasn't prepared for that

He's staring warily at the back door now, eating dry food. That stuff never answers back

/end

MAJOR UPDATE

People seem to have really enjoyed the latest in Pickle's exploits, but some have doubted its truthfulness. It is ludicrous sounding admittedly, but the neighbours have been in touch, and...

WE HAVE PHOTOS!

Am mildly amused by people insisting this can't be real because I'm "a writer"

I'm a non-fiction science writer, guys. I can't create anything without multiple reliable references. I technically have *less* imagination than most people

https://twitter.com/garwboy/status/1248330912623931393

Further update

Pickle has been there for a good 10 minutes

After yesterday's shock, he's either being a lot more cautious, or has decided to practice social distancing

I now must correct this part of my popular thread

The parrot didn't say that

The parrot said the phrase he hears most often

The parrot's name is Bimbo. Yes, Bimbo

So he yelled "HELLO BIMBO!" at my cat

Maybe Pickle was more scandalised than surprised?

https://twitter.com/garwboy/status/1248338789375844361