I was in DC, invited to a bash with friends on Nantucket. I was flat broke, and they said: Just get here, we'll get you back home. /1
My friends got shitfaced on the island. /2
I have about a buck, and I start using it to make PAY PHONE calls. (Hi, kids! Those are phones that require coins.) /3
It's getting dark. And cold. I am sobering up.
/4
/6
"Your friend is homeless?"
"No, no, he's a good guy! He's a grad student, he works for Jeane Kirkpatrick!"
"He works for Jeane Kirkpatrick and he's homeless?"
This did not go well. They leave. /7
Them: Yeah, we heard the messages! They were hilarious!
Me: *urge to kill*
Them: We're on our way with booze and lobsters
Me: *all is forgiven*
The rest of the weekend was delightful. The End.
/8x