I’m hearing this a lot. As a trauma survivor I want to point out that many of you are likely experiencing trauma, or trauma responses, for the 1st time. Here are a few helpful things to remember…
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first and foremost: I’m not a therapist, or an expert. I’ve just been living with, and responding to, trauma for half my life. The first time I experience trauma I was 16, I’m now 32.
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What I’m seeing so many people describe are trauma responses, which happen due to prolonged exposure to traumatic events. This is a traumatic event, there is NO question.
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There’s no certainty right now. No one has the answers, we don’t know next steps, etc…there’s no positivity or affirmations that will resolve or make us feel 100%. However, it’s important to remember we are all doing our best.
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And my best looks different than your best, looks different than your best friends best. Please remember that. We are all managing SO much, and managing different things.
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some helpful things for me during times like this, or when I’m having a trauma trigger: I watch TV shows where I know the end. It soothes me because there are no surprises and I know the outcome.
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I focus on things I can control, on what I am accountable to. I start REAL small, think in baby steps.
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I always remember “bodies choice” (which I learned from @callyrgf, @annfriedman + @aminatou) - ask your body what it wants / needs and DELIVER. Remember that asking for what you need is not being needy.
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@callyrgf @annfriedman @aminatou If possible, naming what you’re going through and experiencing to the people around you can be very helpful. Letting those folks know you may need more time, space and understanding.
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Remember that there’s no need to rush to positivity. Sitting in the anger, the frustration, the “FUCK THIS” is helpful. You’re naming something and allowing yourself to feel it.
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There’s no need to push yourself. Healing has no timeline, it’s not a linear process. We are all trying to care for ourselves, our families and communities and heal at the same time. That is A LOT.
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Practice the same compassion with yourself that you would ask, and want, your friends to. Be kind with yourself, be gentle, be easy, be slow. Practice forgiveness with yourself.
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