A short thread on death during a lockdown. Anyone affected, Bollywood stars, or your father in law, beloved doctor for much of the Delhi you knew is a strange, strange experience. First; there is the incredible silence of it all. A few neighbours come when they first hear
the news. Most people are scared to go to the doctors office anyway, and now, feeling compelled, they come to commiserate in gloves and masks. You are wearing them too. It's like being in a dystopian movie. No one can come for the cremation, but as you drive out, you notice
everyone is standing outside their houses, as close to a military salute I've ever seen in civilian life because he wasn't just a neighbour but a wonderful man, and the doctor who tended to their children, their grandparents, to them. You come back home & no one can come visit.
No hugs. Thats all virtual. The family comes for relevant pujas through zoom calls, and as the days go by you wonder if you're stocked up nearly enough to last it out. You remember you have a baby and hope she won't sense the profound sadness in the air. Its so quiet that perhaps
you are actually managing all the stages of grief in a really short time as there are no distractions. You start to miss, for the first time, the sound of a car in the distance, the noisy delivery men, your own parents, your friends. Work keeps you going but somedays you
really have to dig into your reserves to find the motivation. You remind yourself to get back to yoga. It takes a week but you need to put music back on in the house for the baby. The dog is still begging for snacks, but she knows, there is a permanent change now.
I can't imagine it is ever easy. We were lucky enough to be family in the same building. It is an out of body experience in the middle of a lockdown. Some people will never get to say goodbye, really.
PS - You never know what is going on with others so truly, #EachOneReachOne
PS - You never know what is going on with others so truly, #EachOneReachOne
