Thread by @MarkFrancois12

Extracts from the plague diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys

May 10th 1665

At Nerf in the garden all the morning, where very busy, and at noon dinner of eggs patriot, being full of desire to see presenting of a new online play this afternoon “Back to the Fuhrer” staring

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Nigel Farage, the first time it is acted; where, by 2pm, the server infinite full with Patriots like Bill Cash and pundits like Gary Lineker and liberal wishy-washys like Brian Moore. By and by the play begun, and as to the contrivance, is almost the same as Back to The Future
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but that Farage did play spleeny benevolence vacuum Nigel J Pox, demonising outsiders who have naught from his pleasant vantage on the very White Cliffs of Dover, that it might further his hollow political ends. In this way it is similar to Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Malice
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or Dekker’s The Shitstirrers Holiday with points and turns of wit in both, apart from their being entirely absent in this, and the play excellent but that it was artless shrill-gorged scut, and we discover the chief plot of the play, his enquiring what was our war with the

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Europeans for if not to Conga the streets in cardboard Spitfires without fear of foreigners being near? and the transporting of him in time to the Second War where he was not fighting for Britannia but her enemies, and the people frequently begun to hiss twenty times, and I

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must confess that their microphones being on I heard them say that they could not imagine how this boil-brained racist had the brass codpiece to purvey such clouted hypocrisy and after the play done, people being put into a bad humour of disliking, at the ridiculousness of how
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@nigelfarage could hope to invoke the memory of those who fought the forces of darkness, whose very essence was the dehumanising of aliens, by doing the same himself, most odd, but that he is a withered, cerebrally vacated crust of a man. And so after having done great

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thunderturd on my chamber pot in his honour, set down this day’s passage and having broke my oath against drinking more than 4 Monsters before noon, resolved to deny myself the liberty of 4 tankards this evening, which will more than countervail the excess. Tube of Primula. Bed.