Thread by @surajyengde

Alright everyone. If your parents or annoying uncles and aunts push you for arranged marriage. Have them read this. I got your back 😉 You are welcome. I love you ❤️

thebaffler.com/salvos/aparthe…

@emlycarroll @thebafflermag

Highlights of piece include:
How Indian cinema “celebrates love between the poor and the rich; love across the lines of religion, region, and language; love that upends conventional notions of gender and sexuality” but it does not honestly discuss is the brutal social reality

Remember “family movies”‘genre. Everything goody goody, highly charged useless subplots and three hours of waste. “But look closer and you’ll see that the elaborate family subplots are just a way to hide, or at least sanitize or soften, the fact that this is an arranged marriage“

“The sanitized family movies exist for a reason: India’s upper caste, or so-called “twice-born” Hindus—who make up around 18 percent of the population—have exercised their power over Bollywood, passing off their own narrow, elite, turgid caste culture...”

Let’s seriously talk how love is not Indian ethic while caste is. “A recent survey conducted by Taj Group of Hotels found that 75 percent of young Indians favored arranged marriage. And 82 percent of women in North India preferred their parents finding partners for them.”

Arranged matchmaking is ultimately a well organized big business in India, representing an unholy alliance of medieval prejudice and globalized capital.

They say if you “waste”/overspend in marriages then it is worthy. Such a fake pride of pure losers who try to show-off with 🤑

In a “Caste No Bar section” of matrimonial ads one applicant posted under the heading “Only Upper Caste.”

This kind of discrimination can get openly nasty, when for example an applicant applies under the heading “caste no barrier except SC/ST.”

They hate SC/ST to the core. Sigh

“In the arranged marriage economy, a girl child is considered “paraya dhan” (roughly, “other’s wealth”), a concept that reduces her to a loan or investment to be returned in due course to the future bridegroom’s family, where she truly belongs.”

Is this a pro-woman system?

“...only 5% of brides in India had actively selected their own husband. Only 55% of families even took their daughter’s input before settling a match; 65% of brides actually met or had acquaintance with their husbands at or around the wedding day”.

And they live with that man😱

Education doesn’t necessarily make you liberal or liberated.

“62 percent of educated women surveyed said they had not made contacts with their partners before marriage either.”

“In sum, arranged marriage represents an absolute control on sexuality and desire.” Let’s face it!!

This Indian marriage culture “prevents youth from wandering into the unknown.”

Let your youthfulness flower, let it grow & expand. You should learn from your experiences. Let not some old dude or dudi (joke :)) prescribe what is good for you. They’re gonna die sooner than you.

95% of couples in India live with their parents and extended family after marriage. About 70% stayed with the family for ten or more years. This makes for an environment in which family members can have an overwhelming influence on the major and minor decisions of a couple’s life

This is all to have absolute control on women’s sexuality, more so Dalit women and men.

“Dalit brides had to submit to the upper-caste landlord’s rape even before mating with her legally wedded husband. Raping a Dalit women’s body is to control the family’s honor.“

Ambedkar, Periyar do engage with this question in their strident fashion. Ambedkar’s social and legislative work on birth control and hindu code bill plus his defense of Karve re. obscenity charges are well known. Periyar is a liberal nudist, and birth control advocate! #Facts

In India, demonstrating love & affection towards one’s partner is considered a pvt matter. That means love is a closed door business. How can a society fully grow if it locks love? And scandalizes simple love ethic between partners. Here pervert minds rule & frustrated one trolls

You do all of this just to preserve a myth i.e. caste. In the time of emergency one wouldn’t give a rat’s ass to know the caste for as long as the blood group matches. So wake up and start a sexual revolution. You don’t know what you’re missing on the other side of the caste 😉

#Osho taking a cue from Kabir says:

“If you really want to love a woman, never get married to her. If you really want to adore a man, escape as far away from him as possible. Then you will always love. But if you want to crash the whole love affair, get married.”