Can we have some Asian and African civil servants come up with a partition plan?
That should do it 
The four nations well be known as North Lockdownia, South Lockdownia, Stayhomia, and Stayalertia
Excellent suggestion by Albana
What am I, a DJ? We're not taking requests
What the hell, let's give them some flags that represent their true national identities in a culturally sensitive ways and make them stand out from each other
Let's add some authentic native cuisine to reinforce the cultural identity: beetroot hummus, chicken chow mein, spag bol and chicken tikka masala
Stonehenge will be transferred to a Greek island for safekeeping, and where it will be seen by more British people
