Making Autocrats or How to Create a Bully. Spent my career helping kids. And parents. Funny thing about this, even some very loving parents rejected change. Hard for them to let go of old beliefs. ‘My parents raised me this way!’ ‘Yeah but is it ..1/
helping your kid?’ If they were desperate, if my skills were strong, if hope was on our side, they’d make the change. And their child would prosper. No change meant keep the problem, trying something different meant scary change. And these ...2/
weren’t minor changes. ensure your epileptic teen takes his meds is major. Life-saving. To ensure the great ‘battle of taking one’s meds’ was won, required change. The parents would need to let go of old animosities, old avoidances, cooperate,.3
not so easy. Autocratic parents, parents who live and think autocratically, have the worst time. Autocratic thinking (and parenting) is black and white. Concrete. By the book. Doesn’t matter the book is way past its BBD! Sad but so human. We all..4
do it somewhat. We catch ourselves easier, quicker, more successfully if we think comparatively. think multi-layered.‘If this, then that, maybe, but what about..?’ Abstract comparative thinking is a skill. It develops in homes first, schools second..5
It develops when kids are encouraged to ask questions, not slammed for them. It develops when parents act like comparative thinkers not like Punitive Controllers. Autocratic parenting is controlling and arbitrary..6
Add FEAR to AUTOCRAT PARENTING, you get SHUT-DOWN. Thinking clearly needs TRUST. Safety. Scared kids don’t learn thinking very easily. Sure there’s exceptions but stay with this.7
– fear kicks up FIGHT/FLIGHT. That’s old brain stuff. Comparative thinking is frontal lobe work. Fear shuts down Neo-cortex and lights up Old Brain. Enough Punitive Control by parents, and you get unthinking kids, then teens, then adults. ..8
Perpetuated Red Neck-ism. Not what we want. AUTOCRATS cause battles, may be overt, may be covert. Psychological IEDs. Teens can battle any parent sure! But Autocratic Parenting expands the conflicts. .9
Autocrats are often harsh and incoherent, seen by kids as unapproachable. Pretty bad vibes in all. There’s another kind of parenting. Parenting that includes Parent as Expert and Parent as Encourager of Questions, as Encourager of Thinking It Through..10
The big Boys & Girls of Psychology call it AUTHORITATIVE parenting.
See Authoritative Parenting - American College of Pediatricians acpeds.org/parents/author… re psychologist Dr. D. Baumrind..11
See Authoritative Parenting - American College of Pediatricians acpeds.org/parents/author… re psychologist Dr. D. Baumrind..11
AUTHORITATIVE parenting makes for comparative thinkers because the parent practices ‘compare and contrast’ with the kids. Authoritatives use Boss mode when needed, and Lead and Follow modes when needed. They are warm and encouraging. Kids grow up ..12
more community oriented and willing to cooperate..13
Raise a Bully = Autocratic Parenting. Raise a Thinker and Team Player = AUTHORITATIVE Parenting..14
The frightening change to the GOP, its Senators flying off to Moscow for Independence Day, its leaders killing citizens by poo-pooing Medical advice on Covid19 is partly AUTOCRATIC fall-out. Many law-makers don’t think much. Some not at all. ..15
Their thinking is compromised. Stalled at a concrete non-comparative level. Simple take here - harshly and obsessively control your kids and they become prey for the GOP. Fascism loves a good, beat-down human. GOP mouthpieces, ..16
shills, Tuckers, can keep beating them down. .17
Goodness loves AUTHORITATIVELY raised children and adults. After this is all over, after the flood, AMERICA NEEDS TO PUT MONEY INTO PARENTING SKILLS. We know what creates the fertile ground for aberrant beliefs. (Poverty and Language Development:.17
Roles of Parenting and Stress. SUZANNE C. PERKINS et al.) ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/P… And we know how to parent kids so they are thinkers and far more armoured against bullshitting sycophants. ..18
But if we do nothing about it, old Dixie rides again and we’re all damned..19
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