Thread by @iAmJeshurun

1. Hello, there!
Hope you are doing great and keeping safe.
Welcome to another episode of #PastorExplainThis where we provide biblical answers to life's vexing questions.
Thank you for joining us today.

2. You can catch up with our last episode of #PastorExplainThis here:

https://twitter.com/iAmJeshurun/status/1260993366856208384?s=20

3. For the Lord gives skilful and godly Wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6 (AMP)
May we enjoy depth of insight and clarity of mind as we study together today, in the name of Jesus.
Amen!
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4. Here's our first question today:
IS A WOMAN ALLOWED TO PROPOSE TO A MAN?
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5. In other words, can a woman take the initiative to ask a man out on a date if he doesn't seem to be getting the hint that she likes him or can she propose marriage to her boyfriend if he seems to be dragging his foot?
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6. As our practice is, let us look into scriptural precedent to ascertain if this is allowed or not, beyond the blinders of cultural practices and traditional belief systems.
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7. Remember the Law of First Mention?
This means that we need to look into the first place where any subject is first mentioned or any practice is first enacted in the Bible to understand God's intent concerning the matter.
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8. So, in Genesis 2:20-25, God saw a need for a wife for Adam, God made him a wife, brought the wife to Adam, and Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh..."
So, Adam clearly made the first move, not the woman.
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9. This practice of the man being the protagonist in initiating marital relationships is then seen from Adam down through centuries of Bible history.
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10. Furthermore, in Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV), the Bible says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD."

"He" is the one doing the finding, not "She".
He is to find, she is to be found.
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11. So, based on the Bible, a woman should not propose to a man - the man should do the proposing.

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12. Now, someone may want to ask, but what about Ruth and Boaz?
Didn't she propose to him?

Well, NO!
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13. Ruth was working quietly on the farm and minding her own business when Boaz first noticed her...

Ruth 2:5 Then Boaz said to his servant who was in charge of the reapers, "Whose young woman is this?"

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14. As to the scene in Chapter 3 of Ruth, according to the old Hebrew law (Deuteronomy 25:5-10), Ruth was already bound to be married to Boaz, on the supposition that he was next of kin since Naomi apparently did not know of a nearer kinsman than Boaz.

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15. So, all Ruth did was to show by her actions that she was ready to accept Boaz's marital claim on her and be married to him according to the demands of the Mosaic Law.

That was not a proposal, it was an acceptance of what the law demanded.

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16. So, Dear Sisters, keep your powder dry.
Don't shoot your shot!
Let him be the one to shoot! 😀

For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry. Hebrews 10:37 (KJV)

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17. This next one is similar: WHAT SHOULD A WOMAN DO WHO IS CONVINCED BY THE LORD THAT A CERTAIN BROTHER IS HER HUSBAND?
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18. For those who may not be so familiar with this idea, it used to be a major part of the conservative pentecostal (SU) culture for young people to "receive" someone as their chosen marital partner from the Lord.
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19. Let me first say that there is no biblical foundation for the idea that there is just one perfect individual that God has ordained for you to marry and if you don't marry that person, you will miss it forever.
It is NOT written!
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20. But as a Christian woman, if you like a brother, and having prayed about it you believe he would make a good husband for you, what do you do next?
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21. Wait!
Don't try to force it.
Don't attempt to seduce him or manoeuvre your way into his heart.
Don't start practising "Christian Witchcraft" by praying manipulative and unscriptural prayers with his picture.
Don't generate fake prophecies.
Wait!
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22. And while you're waiting, LIVE YOUR LIFE!
Isaiah 60:3 makes it clear that people, including kings, are attracted to light.
So, just shine your light wherever you are and you can be sure you will soon become the cynosure of all eyes, including the brother's.
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23. But what if he doesn't notice you and then goes for someone else?
No problem!
Approach it with equanimity and move on.
God has many wonderful and eligible sons.
What is yours will come to you!
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24. Psa 16:5-6 (NLT) affirms...
"LORD, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine.
The land you have given me is a pleasant land. What a wonderful inheritance!"

Relax! God's got you!
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25. Question: MUST I INFORM MY FIANCÉ ABOUT MY UNSAVOURY PAST (MULTIPLE SEXUAL PARTNERS, ABORTIONS, ETC.) BEFORE WE GET MARRIED?
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26. This is a delicate issue, bearing in mind that we all have a past; and if you are saved, the blood of Jesus has cleansed your past and given you a clean slate - you are a new creature.

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27. So, should you still tell your future wife or husband about the unsavoury details of your past?

ABSOLUTELY YES!

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28. We need to understand that sin has spiritual, emotional/psychological and physical consequences - it affects the spirit, soul and body of man.
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29. So, in the case of this woman, if she is truly born again now, God has forgiven her for whatever things she did wrong in the past and has removed the spiritual consequence (eternal separation from God).
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30. Unfortunately, God's forgiveness will not automatically cancel the physical consequences (e.g. complications from the abortions, STIs, etc.) or the mental consequences (e.g. intimacy issues, inability to be satisfied by just one partner, etc.)
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31. These are all issues that will become a problem for your spouse down the line.
Yes, you are redeemed and forgiven.
Yes, all of that is now in your past.
But your spouse still deserves to know what he/she is getting into.
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32. Seriously... don't wait until your wedding night to now be going into certain unsavoury details and asking him to overlook them. And this cuts both ways (it applies to both the man and the woman).
That would be a fraud!
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33. Let him/her decide with eyes wide open, fully cognizant of the facts. Anything less than this would be a union entered into under false pretences - and this is nothing but a house of cards which will be brought cascading down by the slightest whiff of wind.
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34. A word of warning, though - care needs to be taken about how and when to divulge such sensitive matters.
It needs to be done prayerfully and under the leading of the Holy Spirit.
A few questions to ask yourself before having "THE TALK"...
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35. Is this person truly born again and filled with the Holy Spirit?
Does he base his values on the Word of God?
Is he emotionally mature enough to handle this?
Has he shown enough commitment to the relationship to not cut and run on hearing this?
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36. A few additional tips:

(a) Don't rush it - take your time to make sure you are ready and he is ready - time reveals character.

(b) Pray it through and ask counsel from your pastor or trusted mentor who knows both of you very well...

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37. (c) Stick to the facts - don't go into unnecessary details that can further torture him.

(d) Don't lie or tell half-truths. Those things have a nasty habit of popping out and biting you in the behind years down the line. It's not worth it.

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38. Having done all to stand, if the man chooses to walk away, it is still fine.
Better a broken relationship now than an acrimonious marriage or a broken home down the line.
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39. And one more thing, YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR PAST!

Any man that will leave you on account of your past does not deserve to be part of your future.

It may hurt in the short term, but you are better off without such a person in your life.

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40. What about if you were the victim of sexual abuse?
What if you were raped or taken advantage of by someone?

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
You didn't commit any sin.
But your intending spouse should still be told based on the explanations I gave earlier.
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41. As I said earlier, if hearing about your past drives him away - you are better off without such an unstable partner anyway.
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42. This is where we will draw the curtain on today's episode of #PastorExplainThis.
I hope it has been value for your time and data.

43. If this series has been a blessing to you, kindly like and retweet so it can bless many others as well.
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44. Also, if you need further clarification about any of the points, just reply the relevant tweet or send me a DM and I will answer promptly.
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45. You can also send in your questions about ANYTHING via Dm or anonymously via linktr.ee/adeyinkaadeleke

Until I come your way on our next episode of #PastorExplainThis, stay safe and stay blessed!

If you or someone around you has been a victim of sexual abuse/violence and need help to work through it, you can send me a DM and I will reach out to you confidentially.
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