Well, friends, today was my last shift in NYC after 5 weeks. I’ve worked 28 12-hour shifts in the last 33 days. I head home tomorrow completely exhausted. I am so excited to see my pets & play my piano & ride my bike, but I will miss my new friends & my patients here dearly. 1/
Things have calmed down a lot since I started here, but I’ve still only cared for a handful of patients without COVID. The ICUs are still full and I was in a pop-up ICU the last few weeks. I am worried about people relaxing and allowing a second wave. 2/
These hospitals will still be full with these patients for a long time due to the prolonged courses of COVID, and they will not be able to accommodate a second wave. 3/
The healthcare workers are exhausted and still haven’t gotten a break, and I’m afraid of what a second wave will do to them. I’m afraid of what it will do to me. I’ve already been pulled to cover more ICU when I get home because there are too many patients. We need relief. 4/
The trainees are working hours and rotations they never expected, some even working outside their specialties. Education is often an afterthought. There is no time for social interaction nor a safe way to do it, so coping mechanisms are failing. 5/
This virus ravages the body. These patients are some of the sickest I’ve ever cared for. It’s like caring for an entire team of patients comprised of only the most unstable patients that used to be only a few per team. 6/
It’s devastating to watch families and friends unable to talk to their loved ones. Unable to sit by their side and hold their hand. Waiting with bated breath for an update call while simultaneously dreading the dismal news. The loss is unimaginable. 7/
It’s infuriating to see people gathered in groups and refusing to wear masks and spouting anti-science. I have never held such a low opinion of many of the people around me. I am so disgusted by people who choose their own convenience over the health of others. 8/
I am incredibly grateful for the amazing nurses and physicians and team members I worked with here. They are the definition of resilience and deserve ALL the praise. I am leaving a better person for having known them. 9/
I’m going to take the next few days to try to focus on my wellbeing before I start another month of service at home. I need to find joy again. I need to remember what peace feels like. I need to take care of my body. I need to heal. 10/
I am a different person than when I came here. I feel a deeper level of sorrow & darkness than I did before. I also feel a deeper level of strength & purpose. I hope I will be a better physician & teacher because of these changes. I hope I will still be able to see the light. 11/
Thank you for supporting me on this journey. Thank you for the kind words & animal pics that lifted me up when I thought I couldn’t keep going. Thank you, NYC, for letting me be a part of your fight. Thank you to all the docs & nurses & volunteers who make this work possible. 12/
For those who want to know how to help: Check in with the people around you and be present. Wear a mask and stay home when you can. Promote science over quackery. Care for others the way you would want to be cared for. Love one another. ❤️ 13/13
