my first meeting w my therapist i talked to her about how lonely i was and how i just wish i had a man around to love on my and she asked me why it has to come from a man/be romantic and i thought that was the goofiest question id ever heard
fast forward x amount of years later, im able to see what she was getting at but still struggling to really *feel* it. tv and rom coms and the media and capitalism and generational stuff and blah blah blah, so much makes us feel like the realest form of love is the romantic kind
and on top of that, that the romantic type of love has to look in one exact and specific way to count, to be the *right* kind
but look, motherfuckers dont always be acting right and i hate the thought of not saying those words or expression lurve bc cupid is nearsighted
hello my emotional friends :) just discovered something that helped me feel better during an "okay i see the wave of anxiety/depression coming & what i tell myself in this moment will determine whether it takes me down or if i paddle my goofy ass back to shore okay" moment
im fine but have been without a prescription of mine for a few days (i know the reason why, i am fixing it, pls no fussing or advice, ty for wanting to help 💜) so i can feel my brain finna do what it does and freak out
i was sitting here trying to remember all the "tools" in my "toolbox" that im supposed to pull out & use to "reframe things" and "see stuff differently" and blah blah but my brain's too jumbled to make sense of it all so i opened a google doc & typed WHAT I NEED TO HEAR RIGHT NOW
breaking my social media fast, which may or may not exist anymore, to share something i found really really helpful from today's therapy sesh. i figured out why i (we?) have so much trouble celebrating our wins
so ive been in therapy for 100 years. still anxious, but im pretty sure i was born that way so i'll stay that way. still depressed too, which i thought id be cured of by now. aa few sessions ago we talked about what i think a return to health 'should' look like
initially i figured itd look like being the person i was before i got depressed. energetic, not needing pep talks to do shit like go outside, cooking everyday, working out at least 30 mins at least 3 days a week, calling my mom everyday, etc.
lol wow man. that 'i love texas' tweet & video. 'damning' is not a strong enough word
pointing out the fight music! brilliant
also i know that he'll prolly still be acquitted. but this is very important, and i didnt understand why until they started laying out this evidence. anyone who can vote to acquit after this?
love being able to do therapy appointments from my bed bc i dont have to travel to go cry in my bed afterward
today's sesh was tough but necessary. about learning to be kind to yourself when you live in a society that teaches us to blame people when they are victimized by someone else. i am very, very bad at this.
its so frustrating to have this overactive anxious brain that makes your life hell bc it holds you hostage in the name of protecting you, and then when you do the hard work of FINALLY trusting someone & then when they hurt you, your anxiety turns on YOU for not listening