I moved from the suburbs of Chicago to a small town in Tennessee the summer before 8th grade. When I opened my U.S. History textbook, I noticed something weird. My TN textbook detailed the Civil War in complete contrast to my IL textbook. It sounded like a totally separate event.
It was the first time I ever heard the Civil War referred to as “The War of Northern Agression.”
It was the first time I ever heard the phrase “The South will rise again.”
It was the first time someone had ever called me a “Yankee” and meant it as an insult.
Back then, I thought to myself,
“What did they mean, ‘the South will rise again?’ Rise to WHAT? Slavery?? What could the southern states possibly be holding a grudge about and why is there so much animosity around this war that clearly made America better?”
In Illinois, U.S. History was taught in 7th grade. In Tennessee, it was taught in 8th grade. What I thought would be a “repeat” course felt like an entirely different course altogether.
And I was baffled by the charged emotion around the Civil War.
My first go-round at U.S. History, there was no visceral emotion around the Civil War.
My second go-round, everyone seemed bitter and vengeful against “the North.”
The system —
the one that perpetuates and upholds racism our institutions —
was doing just that.
I was shocked.
The first time I saw a giant Confederate flag mounted in the back of a pickup truck, I was horrified.
They might as well be flying a swastika.*
Why was no one stopping them?!
I felt like I had stepped back in time.
*this was well before emboldened Americans did just that
I often think about how students in southern states and students in northern states are likely learning our country’s history out of completely different textbooks.
And it’s still jarring to me, as it was all those years ago.
But it does explain a lot.
About our division...
About how deeply rooted systemic racism really is.
How it’s never just “one bad apple” or one racist comment or a single microaggression or poorly written policy.
Somewhere along the way,* racism was built into these systems on purpose.
*literally at America’s inception
I don’t think all southerners are racists or all northerners are abolitionists.
That would be both foolish and presumptuous.
I think we are all complicit in unjust, racist systems.
And I think it’s up to all of us to expose + confront these systems as we bear witness to them.
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When you grow up in a religious culture that convinces its members that everyone who believes and lives differently than them has been deceived and doesn’t know the Truth, it’s easy to see how half the country has been brainwashed to believe cold, hard facts are “fake news.”
Tr*mp’s America didn’t develop overnight.
His followers were primed by the evangelical church, which teaches that the world is against them and that it’s the sworn duty of its members to never waver in their certainty, even when they can’t explain their beliefs.
Blind faith that lacks critical thinking and biblical/historical scholarship has led to blind trust in untrustworthy leaders —
Leaders who claim to work in their best interest of their followers while brainwashing their followers to believe everyone else is against them.
To extinguish the plague of racism in the United States, white folks first need to address the whitewashed version of Christianity upon which the US was founded that (1) underlies our broken system of justice & (2) signals our complicity in acts of violence against black bodies.
Whitewashed Christianity is what enables white folks to go unchecked in their ignorance, as they echo phrases like “I don’t see color” with a false sense of moral superiority, while carrying on with their casual, everyday racism fueled by their “color blindness.”
But that’s just it - racism is never casual. It’s just not always overt. It doesn’t always look like murder in broad daylight or men masquerading in bed sheets to terrorize their neighbors.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my body’s resistance to what is happening all around us right now.
My innate fight/flight/freeze response to this global trauma. The startling jolt each morning of our present reality.
My body’s desire to escape and find safety.
How that jolt throughout my heart, my mind, and my body—while still fiercely present—dulls a bit each day.
How the initial grief at empty streets, citywide closures, and extreme social distancing measures is morphing into something else:
Numb acceptance.
I can tell my subconscious mind has grown to accept this eerie reality as “normal” because when I see photos of groups of people, my whole body tenses up.
I wonder what it will be like when we can all be close to each other again. Will we hesitate to gather in groups?
About 4 years ago, I embarked on a 3 week silent retreat. No phone, no music, no books, no tv, no distractions of any kind, and no contact with the outside world (aside from one hour a day with the therapist facilitating the experience).
While it was one of the most transformational experiences of my life, it was also brutally painful and devastatingly lonely.
Since many of us are facing unprecedented amounts of alone time and isolation, I thought I would share a few things I learned from my experience:
1️⃣ Developing a routine, of some kind, is essential to establishing some semblance of normalcy. This could be as simple as eating meals at the same time every day or as stringent as time blocking your day.
My wife and I moved to Chicago last week. We’ve been self quarantining for the past two days. Today, we slipped out briefly to pick up our dining room table and walk our dog. We stayed as far away from other people as possible.
We are isolating and practicing social distancing, not because we are afraid of getting sick, but because we recognize the severity of this situation for immunocompromised individuals and our society at large.
The social + economic ramifications of this unmitigated health crisis are already devastating. As IL closes all restaurants and bars tomorrow, small business owners and service employees will be drastically impacted, even as we collectively strive to slow the spread of the virus.