If you make a mistake & you keep doubling down, the possibility is that it isn't a bad day, but rather refusal to accept responsibility for your own actions. When the status of ally becomes more important than the message you're boosting, you didn't really ever support.
I don't call myself an ally. I benefit from living on stolen land, from systems designed to protect me that are leveraged on the oppression of others. It is my responsibility to learn, listen, and use my privilege where I can to speak back to and dismantle white supremacy.
To protest, to donate, to do whatever I am able to do, every single day. I'm not perfect, very, very far from it, but I have to keep trying. It isn't a single moment, it's a choice every single day, sometimes multiple times a day.
I am open about my trauma, suicidal ideation, my mental health history, and the work I put in to try to stay alive, and while there is a lot I don't know - I do know that none of that trauma history is caused by my whiteness - so as hard as life may be at times, I am privileged.
Just...if you've got a background where you've experienced trauma, try to keep that in mind. It isn't about whether I've "had it worse" or that my (or your) individual suffering is somehow less. Its that being a cis white person hasn't seen me systemically marginalised or abused.
You aren't responsible for your trauma, but you are responsible for your actions, every day, even if you have moments where your trauma is triggered and you don't respond as you would like to. You may not recognise you've been triggered until after the fact, and I know it is hard
But you can try to repair ruptures, you can admit mistakes. So yeah. That's it I guess. Be aware of your vulnerabilities, and don't use them to further opress and marginalise others.
Sorry if this doesn't entirely make sense, I'm definitely still a work in progress.
Sorry if this doesn't entirely make sense, I'm definitely still a work in progress.
I would also remind, if you're continuing to engage after someone has requested their @ to be removed, to create a new thread, or continue the conversation elsewhere. ✊
