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A few points. Thread.
1) "I've been contacted by phone literally every other time I've been tested"

Doping Control Officers do not ring athletes to give them a heads up that they are looking for them to test them. Disturbing that this is the norm for you
2) "Don't tell me "I missed" a test if you sneak up on my door without my knowledge"

That's the whole point of random drug testing. The first you know of it is when they knock your door. Its not sneaking.
3) "He (the DCO) even said he couldn't hear the doorbell so why wouldn't you call me?"

He also knocked the door loudly every 10mins for the whole hour. Again, ringing athletes isn't meant to happen. You said you were shopping anyway
4) "I am willing to take a drug test every single day for the rest of my career"

There's no need, just give them an hour slot each day and they'll come and test you every so often. Just make sure that you are there too
5) "I have nothing to hide but it's not possible to show that if I'm not even given a chance to"

You did have the opportunity, you chose to go shopping instead
6) "I thought the point of the organisation was to keep the sport clean by testing everyone and catching the cheaters"

YES, exactly right. So everyone needs to make sure they are available to get tested or this system would fail
7) "This isn't justice for anybody. Not me, not them, not the sport, who wins here?"

Right again, NOBODY WINS. You get banned and your name is tarnished. Athletes get annoyed. Fans get annoyed. The 100m world champion drags the sports name through the mud. Cheers
8) "I have no idea what I could've done to avoid this"

Not gone shopping
9) "but my parents did get me a Ring Doorbell camera for Christmas so that should nip all and any miscommunication in the bud! Lol"

I'm sure they'll let you off again as it's all good now since your mum got you a sweet doorbell
10)"it doesn't matter if I'm going to the movies or travelling across the world, every move must be entered so we can be tested at random"

Not true. You have to provide an overnight address and a 1hr testing slot each day.Regular activities like work or training venues/times too
11) "I've had the app freeze and stop working on me before I had to take off for a flight"

If you're leaving it that late to do your whereabouts then you aren't taking it seriously. No need to panic, reload the app, use a web browser, it doesn't take long
12) "I'd much rather just share my phone location and they can pull up whenever, wherever"

What if your phone breaks or it's off or its stolen or you're on a flight. See the problem there, imagine the excuses. Be easier if everyone just gave an hour slot each day
13) Last year you got off for the same sanction. To let it happen to you again is astounding. Being at your hour slot each day is a small price to pay for the life this sport has given to you and to help fight for an equal playing field for all athletes. Regardless of whether...
14)... you are doping or not, the rules are there for the greater good of the sport. Being the best in the world means that you should be leading the way by example. Try treating the sport, your full time profession, and fellow athletes with respect they deserve
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