There’s an unwritten assumption that women will just make themselves available when stuff needs to get done. Whether it’s remembering family members’ birthdays, tracking the family schedule, noticing when we’re running low on milk or when new shoes are needed. We are there.
We’re reliable when no one else is. We are expected to be so even when we are sick, when we are working, when we are tired. The requirement to care never really takes a break. Emotional labour rarely lets up. Even when we rest, we mentally evaluate the to do list, worry, plan.
Even when some household and caring tasks are shared, the mental load is always there. And even though some families may be better at distribution, research is clear that overall we have far to go. And yes, this is the case in even the most progressive households.
Gender stereotypes, gender roles are deeply ingrained. And they are systemic. It’s not just about individual families and who does the cooking/garbage/laundry. It’s also reflected in wage rates, in labour market participation, in lifetime earnings and career progression.
It’s reflected in the assumptions that schools make about who to call first when the kid is sick or struggling. It’s about who gets considered for promotion or when opportunities for travel arise.
And right now, it’s reflected in what we are not discussing in relation to the pandemic, the reopening and the recovery. When September comes around it will be six months that families have had their kids at home, with no relief or respite. Six months! A half year!
And the chances of full time school or expanded child care returning in the fall? Or that a second wave won’t shut us down again? I’d laugh if I weren’t sobbing so hard.
But as a society, we aren’t talking about it. Governments aren’t talking about it in any meaningful way. Why? Because for generations we’ve relied on women to be there, to provide the care, to pick up the slack, to know what’s needed and to get it done.
That’s what really keeps economies running, pandemic or no pandemic. Powerful men become powerful because competent women provide the support, the caring infrastructure to allow them to do what they need to do.
Productivity is measured by hours worked and goods produced, without accounting for the labour of the people doing the work that needs to be done in homes.
Paid work that looks like that work - cleaning, caring, nurturing, cooking - is undervalued because it’s feminized, it’s too close to what’s expected to be free
So now we have a situation where many women have been either working at home, unemployed or reducing their work time while supervising distance learning, managing a household, wrangling bored and stressed kids, monitoring potential exposure - it’s no wonder most of us are anxious
And stressed. And exhausted. And ill. And with no end in sight we’re also worried about what this means for the future - for our careers, for our kids’ education and mental health, for our families’ economic and emotional stability.
If no solutions are forthcoming, how many women will be downscaling their work come September? How many will leave work altogether? What does this mean for a generation of mothers? What does it mean for workplaces? And what does this mean for the economy overall?
No governments are discussing this. Not in any meaningful way, and certainly not with labour or women’s organizations. There’s no evidence a GBA+ lens is being applied to any policy right now, and requests to meet have gone unanswered.
Care work, whether paid or unpaid, should be central to any recovery plan. Women’s economic justice should be a key objective, especially considering who has been hardest hit.
And speaking of who’s been hardest hit, let’s consider that gender isn’t the only factor at play, that being trans or queer or Black or racialized or Indigenous or living with a disability plays a big role in the different ways these challenges manifest. Being a lone parent, too
I’m not sure what all the public policy answers are but we won’t get there as long as we continue to not talk about this, as long as decision-makers refuse to acknowledge it. Mothers and parents need a break, and they need solutions. #DoneWaiting
And yes I do realize that in some families, men and dads do take on this role. It’s care work as a whole that needs to be examined, needs to be recognized, reduced and redistributed both within the household and between the household and the state. But it’s still deeply gendered
It also could be seen as a very heteronormative issue, but regardless of the genders of the people in a household, the reality is that the unpaid workload for all families is crushing now, and the need for that work to be recognized and valued applies regardless of the family
And also the redistribution of care between the household and the state will benefit everyone - those who provide the unpaid care and those who require care
