Hello from the Netherlands, where it is one thousand degrees and every Dutch person who spent all of the year up until this point complaining that the weather is shit is now complaining it is too hot.
The (possibly last) corona press conference will start shortly. nos.nl/artikel/233838…
Because the government is leaking worse than your neighbor's kiddie pool, we have some idea of what Prime Minister Mark Rutte will say this evening. dutchnews.nl/news/2020/06/d…
You all voted so we have an actual adult live tweeting tonight, who speaks both Dutch and English and therefore will only make very serious, grammatically perfect tweets.
Here we go.
"It's been three months since I said that it seems we are in a rollercoaster that is going faster and faster," Prime Minister Mark Rutte says.
"We have had the worst corners. We have had our first day without corona deaths. We did this together."
"The danger", he says, "is now back to normal." But don't make a mistake, he goes on. Without the measures, we would have dramatically more dead and in intensive care.
We have to make sure that there is no second wave, he says.
He says that he has positive news, if people continue to keep the distance and you remain home, wash your hands and avoid crowds, we can keep this.
From July 1, we will need more responsibility and more self-discipline.
From July 1, there are two categories of activities: inside and outside.
The rules he says are mostly same. This makes it easier for people and for the police.
1.5 inside and outside continues. [This means you, people at the Albert Heijn. We see you.]
From July 1, there will be a maximum of 100 people inside, there will be no health check and no reservations. For outside, the max will be 250 with no reservations and no health check. But for horeca, you have to sit.
Neighborhood BBQs are ok [Oh no we just got our invite this is not what we wanted at alllllll....].
Concerts and sporting events will also be possible from July one (with the previous restrictions). Events are possible and the local governments will decide what can go forward.
The event season will not start immediately. A permit request will take about six weeks, so that means the second half of August.
Where there is an event where a lot of people come together, there needs to be 1.5 meters distance between people and washing stations.
Schools! High school students will be back to normal, no need to keep the distance. But teachers will. After the summer, education is completely back to normal.
OV! Public transport will be busier. All seats will be available from July 1 and not just for necessary travel. He warns that people should avoid crowds. [On an NS train during the spits?]
Taxi and touring cars can return to normal, you can take more people in your personal car. You will still have to wear a mask on OV. [Sighs in mask]
Oh boy here is the most important announcement: from July 1 sex clubs are reopened. We repeat: sex workers can go back to work.
Sports schools can also reopen. You will have to keep distance. Games outside must do that also.
Some things will still be closed: discos and nightclubs. There will be new advice on that from September 1. Speaking loudly and singing are still forbidden. [Has he HEARD Dutch people "talk'?]
Rutte warns that people with more freedom comes more responsibility. The virus is not done.
Now we are switching to health minister Hugo de Jonge who appears to have stolen his shoes from a Delft pottery shop.
In the best case, de Jonge says, we can keep away a second wave. He says they are checking for corona in sewer water [ew]. They will check to see if more measures are needed.
When the virus rises, we will need to fight it. With contract tracing, with testing. If you have complaints get tested as soon as possible.
The GGD and RIVM are doing research into whether or not they can test people who simply had contact with someone who tests positive. Currently it's only if you have symptoms.
If there is a second wave, we need to be prepared he says. They have stocked masks and PPE. Next week, they will announce a plan for flexible IC capacity. The app is nearly done and will be tested next week.
We do this, he says, so healthcare can handle it and so we can protect vulnerable people.
Now we move to everyone's favorite part: questions!
Is 1.5 meters still tenable? [Not judging from the people in the park across the street from my house!]
Rutte says yes, we really need to do this. Across the whole world. If we weaken our resolve, a lot more people will die.
In true Dutch fashion, a water analogy: if you remove the dyke, the water comes.
A follow up question about secondary students. Rutte says they know there is less risk for young people. For contact professions, they can check for symptoms in advance.
Rutte says that if we don't keep the distance, we risk a second lockdown.
A question about apps to de Jonge [a phrase we hope to never write again]: France has an app but has only identified 14 people, so is it necessary.
[If you recall, the Dutch process to get an app has...not gone well.]
De Jonge says that the app is important for contact tracing. He says the app is more complete than ever [I would hope so] and there are no privacy concerns. It's an important addition and faster.
[We will get you a picture of De Jonge's shoes, we are a little busy at the moment.]
Another question: you see more and more people not keeping the distance [water is also wet] Rutte says yes, he knows. He doesn't want this to be the normal, but it has been crucial.
NORMALLY, Rutte says that he hugs Macron, whom he had dinner with last night, but it's not possible. [Fortunately for Macron.]
Another question: do we still work from home? [Please don't make us go back, we've forgetting how to put on pants.] Rutte says they are looking at the advice but for now, the advice is still work from home if you can.
No singing in the stadium? Rutte says take a horn. [Forget mask companies, invest in horn companies] He says the football stadium in Italy was a super spreader event and we don't want that.
If there's a second wave, will we take actions locally or nationally? Shoes Guy, we mean de Jonge, says they are prepared to take measures locally. They can track this by sewer [again, ew].
De Shoes-e says there were 170,000 infections in the world today, so we need to keep to the measures.
Is there a correlation between easier measures and people keeping to them? [Who writes these questions? We want to speak to their manager.] Rutte says "We talk to you like adults." If you don't keep the distance, the virus will come back. And we will close down again.
Follow up question: [It's not, it's the same question rephrased.] Rutte says: We treat each other as adults. In the whole world there is a distance. This is what the experts say.
A question about the cultural sector. Rutte says he trusts the creativity of the cultural sector. He says you can still fill a lot of space with the distance.
Why is the distance in OV let go? We did that on June 1 Rutte says. It's too complicated and with too many consequences. That's why people wear masks.
A follow up a question about planes: Rutte says that in planes they have special filters.
A question about symptoms: This hasn't changed. If you have them, stay home. Just stay home if you are sick this isn't hard.
There is a question about festivals. You can have festivals if you can sit Rutte says.
A questions to de Jonge about a visits to nursing homes. De Jonge says that since June 15th some visits are possible. And it is possible with distance.
BREAKING NEWS: Irma has left the stage and has been replaced by another lady who also seems lovely.
We will take this moment to note that Irma looked especially lovely this evening. We would like to know where she got her top. And she should get a raise.
A question to Rutte about theaters: Yes everyone has to sit with 1.5 meters distance.
A follow up question to De Jonge about bonuses to healthcare workers: they will announce something when a decision is made.
A question about church choirs. Why can't people sing in church? [The virus?] Rutte says no this is not allowed.
Is there anyone on the crisis team with doubts? [This is actually an interesting question.] No, Rutte says, the decisions are unanimous. There is clear advice.
A follow up about whether or not this is the last press conference [what are we going to live tweet then?] Rutte says they will be back to the normal location. They are currently at the justice ministry. He says he hopes it's the last time in this setting.
There is a question about the reproduction number [of the virus, not corona babies] De Jonge says that all the information is on the dashboard, he mentions again they can test sewer water [He's....real into the sewer water tonight.]
De Jonge also notes that there is a prevention paradox. Namely, if you control things well, people wonder why measures were necessary.
A question about tourists: The cities need to look at measures, there are no national rules.
For people traveling abroad, will there be contact tracing? Yes De Jonge says.
Are there extra measures for sex workers. Rutte says....and we can't believe we are writing this....the Outbreak Management Team discussed positions but there is no distinction.
De Jonge adds that the sign language interpreters got more respect than he and Rutte did. Rutte replies: That's painful.
Ok that is all, our story will be out shortly. Please keep us stocked in gin, we are melting. dutchnews.nl/donate-to-dutc…
Here's the update with a more comprehensive list of new measures.
DID YOU THINK WE WERE GOING TO LEAVE YOU HANGING? 
You can see the shoes in action if you prefer:
