Thread by @MarkFrancois12

Extracts from the plague diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys

June 27th 1665

Up and after continental breakfast of Red Bull on Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, a fact-finding journey to Bournemouth, recently plagued by a common-sense outbreak, in pain in my cods with being squeezed in a

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little coach but I hope I shall be soon well again; and a great day for seabirds and locals that near 500,000 logically-disposed patriots did travel there to discard the disposable tankards, noz cannisters and single-use chamber pots littering their homes; very dutiful, and

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grayte insight into a yeoman’s ingenuity that Kebab wrappers, Big Mac boxes and Bargain Buckets may be filled with turd; and that the Johnson did issue an edict to ‘show some guts’ on a potent gust of briny air I believe plenty are dropped betimes,

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but in fear great I am, and I perceive the whole city is, of some distractions and disorders among us that without clear messaging and leadership, these mass gatherings may stop, and our fabled British common-sense may have no opportunity

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to spread, which God of his goodness prevent! and that Johnson has been clear from the start that we may do as we please so long as his popularity remains, I am concerned our loss of reputation is greater than suffered in all ages put together before; and methinks foresee

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great unrest coming upon us, and so provide for it by laying by aside Chicken Zinger and BK Whopper boxes in several places just in case, and after nipping to a quick rave in Brixton, with my mind in a good condition of quiet, Rolos, bed.