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I'm ready to talk.

14 year old me was groomed by a man who ran a community center. I spent a lot of time there, he would buy me food, candy and gifts, let me game on the computer. My dad let him become my foster parent.

I lived with him from Aug '05 to Nov '06.
I've had a history of going in and out boarding schools, parental unit maintained that it was behavioral issues, yet there never was an official indication made for this, no matter how many psychiatrists I've talked to. The time that I did spend home, I tried to not be around.
In fear that something would happen, that would cause them to shove me into an even stricter boarding school. I was a small kid; always have been super androgynous and aside from a tough act, really timid and shy.

So, I'd find other places to hang out on my short weekends.
This community center was called "Het Trajekt" in Maastricht, the Netherlands. I originally learned of the place because they would organize events for youths, to which my stepmom and my dad would occasionally send me. They also cooperated with local schools and stuff.
I met the man one day after winning a Formula 1 game competition they held at the community center. He awarded me my prize, which was a CD-ROM game and something else I'd had forgot about. Consequent visits for other events, he'd chat me up and soon he learned of my situation.
I was in and out of boarding schools, was only allowed to use the computer (or consoles) at home for 1 hour a day. Naturally, offered to let me use the computer facilities after hours. I spent a lot of time just one-on-one with him.

Eventually, he invited me to come to his home.
It was pretty innocent, he was living among antique furtiture, all from his passed away mother, and he had been alone ever since she went. I figured that it'd be a fair exchange to keep him company once in a while, he'd always do me solids after all.
My dad was well aware of this; and eventually they got to talking. The idea to have me be the foster parent for the weekends (which I did not spend at the boarding school) was coined. The reason I agreed then, is because I was afraid to be put into *yet another boarding school.*
But here's the thing. By this time I was becoming familiar with my body, my gender dysphoria, and that I liked boys.

He knew of the latter because I had a 'boyfriend' at some point.
I kept my gender stuff to myself.

I knew that he was a gay man in his 50's.
Eventually, my time in yet another boarding school had concluded, and I'd no longer be there for the weekends, but fulltime. Paperwork was drafted and signed, I was assigned his foster kid. All was pretty good for a while, I went to an IT school and played tons of Runescape.
Eventually he'd start talking to me, supportive of 'me being gay' where nobody else was, and for a while, I saw a real friend in him. Someone who was more of a father than my real one. Someone I would trust to take care of me and not beat the shit out of me every other day.
So, we would talk about the things my boyfriend and I did. How we'd be romantic and intimate and he would remenisce about his own youth and whatnot.

Eventually, he would offer to massage me. First shirtless, then without underwear, then naked in my (formerly his mom's) bed.
For a while, he'd not actually touch my genitals. Instead, he eventually bought me Zeta Creations toy to use on myself, because he knew I had been using stuff from around the house.

He'd assure me that, he would never ever touch me in any way "I did not want".
This promise however, wasn't long kept. I really was afraid that, if I said no to him, that he'd get angry or kick me out of the house or worse yet, tell my dad that I was being a 'lil shit and end up tossing me into yet another boarding school.
He would segue into this by deliberately having stories from (An erotic fic site) open on his computer, knowing that I'd go play games on it, and possibly seeing some of the 'Young Love' story tabs. I just wrote it off it as 'his gay fantasy shit lmao'.
Not quite realizing the definition of 'young'. He also had a collection of twink nudes on his machine, and he knew, that I knew. I did not want to impose or be disrespectful.

Anyway, one day this massaging stuff escalated. I was super upset at him the first time it happened.
I remember yelling at him and telling him "Hey, I have a boyfriend!" (I know. stfu.) He assured me that everything was OK. That I wasn't physically hurt, and surely it must've maybe felt good? He assured me that, it was just part of the massage.
That it's OK to rub someone's ass with lotion and to compliment someone's erection should it happen. Which, by the way, totally normal and natural and 'just happens.', so he would assure me over and over and over.
Throughout the months following it, this would go further, small steps. Actual masturbation, Assurance that all is good. Penetration with fingers and my own toys, assurance that all is OK, oral sex, assurance that its good because it fels good. And sure enough.
This escalated into him fucking me and cumming inside me.

It was at this point, I started inquiring to my few friends about all this. Actually, it was my older brother first. I presented it to him very, very carefully as a hypothetical situation. Like, weaving a 'what if' story.
He too knew that the man was gay, and found it disgusting, et cetera. I talked about 'how he saw me naked' and my brother henceforth referred to me as 'schandknaap' (shame knave /…)
He still did not know the full extent of what was going on, but -because- he insulted me, and 'a fellow gay person' I decided to not tell him another word of it. Instead, I quietly continued to let it happen, not telling anyone until one day watching a documentary on TV.
It was the VPRO airing something about people talking about their experiences being molested as kids and whatnot, and covered grooming. It wasn't something I actively watched, it was more background noise while I was gaming, but I picked up bits of it here and there.
The very next day, /it/ happened again. Except this time I realized what was happening to me. After he went to bed, I waited two hours, snuck out of my bed, covertly installed malware on his computer (RAT / Keylogger), made screenshots and silently packed some clothes.
In the morning I stole some cash, snuck out and had my sister pick me up. She didn't believe a word of it and for months remaining in denial even when evidence was rife.

Oh how I wish I could forget how you feel inside me.
I know you're out there still, Guillaume S.

I survived.
I went to the police station in Heerlen and gave them access to the e-mail address that I had made and had the RAT dump stuff too, it also had screenshots from his documents folder which included photo's of _my friends_ alongside twink porn and I suppose CP.
They picked it up and forwarded it to 'afdeling zedendelicten' (sex crimes dept) and told me that I have no way to prove he was raping me, so I couldn't do much with that. In the same breath, they -did- mention that Zedendelicten would investigate further.
From what I've been told, and this is unverified, he had his PC taken by police, beyond that.. nothing.

The man never saw justice.
The reason I'm bringing this all up today is twofold:

1: I never got to process this properly
2: FB fucking recommended him to me as a friend.
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Keep Current with Softest Drone Fox Wifey 🏳️‍⚧️ | #0077

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