Thread by @medicalaxioms

You know how some doctor just suddenly decide they don’t like a patient for no good reason?

I do that.

But the opposite. I just suddenly decide I like someone. I forgive their faults. Enjoy their idiosyncrasies. Listen to their joys and pains with curiosity and compassion.

In fact I always do this. It’s weird. My patients get absorbed into my sphere of people that are my people.

I defend them. I advocate for them. I work on their behalf and get others to do the same.

For no good reason.

The result is kinda fascinating. People really show a different side of themselves when I do this.

Not all of them.

Many become the exact person I decided they were.

Soft. Kind. Appreciative. Less selfish and self centered.

Residents willl say, “Wow we have been lucky this month! So many great patients!! All so nice!!!”

I say, “Yes good luck again.”

Most of us are chameleons. We change depending on our surroundings. We respond to people around us and mirror them.

We are more like a lump of clay than a finished pot. Every person we meet shapes us and we respond to their mental image of the shape they want us to take.

I have developed the ability to make good patients.

It’s a mental trick.

The easiest way I can explain to start is to imagine each next patient is a friend of your parents.

Maybe you like some more than others, but none deserve your ire.

All have a mixture of good traits and bad, as all people do.

I decide their good traits outweigh the bad and give them more attention. I encourage and seek the good and just ignore the bad.

I forgive anger like you forgive a friend when they just need to vent.

Let it go. Let it gooooo!!!

I developed this technique after making a rule for myself that I could dislike 2 patients a year.

Then after awhile, I only needed one.

Now some years, none at all.

Most people are alright. If you lean back and squint they are funny and tragic. Most love their kids and their dogs and some at least one of the spouses.

They like the good things and relaxing after hard work and like to criticize the idiots who steal the money and ruin everything good.

Just like you and me.

The more I give people the benefit of the doubt, the note they step right in and show me how good the general membership of the species is.

There’s a few rough ones that are hard to live but I can respect most of them. They either get shit done I’d never do it have survived shit that would have taken me out.

I admire survivors even when they can be prickly.

So that’s what I do. I decide I like them and they become likable. I look for the good and they show me how good. The tough ones get softer and the angry ones stop fighting.

Most people appreciate a fair shake and a clean start. Being given the benefit of the doubt.