10 ways toxic religion damages kids: (1) Telling kids they are born into this world intrinsically bad, absent of inherent worth, and repulsive to God. (2) Telling kids that their sinfulness is so bad that it left God no choice but to brutalize, torture and execute his only child.
(3) Telling kids that their most natural inclinations are deceitful, and that they should not trust their thoughts and feelings.
(4) Using fear and shame to manipulate kids into adopting certain beliefs and practices related to God.
(5) Teaching kids that the rejection, hatred or diminishment of unbelieving or different-believing human beings is a sign of devotion to God.
(6) Teaching kids that it is wrong to question people in authority, particularly religious leaders or teachers.
(7) Teaching kids that sexual thoughts and desires are bad and should be repressed, and that sexuality is a violation of God's holiness.
(8) Failing to equip kids with the skills for free, independent and critical thinking.
(9) Causing traumatic and disturbing feelings inside kids by telling them that lost loved ones, friends and other significant people in their lives who were not believers are suffering the eternal torment of God's wrath in hell.
(10) Teaching kids that self-denial, self-sacrifice, and selflessness is the hallmark of true discipleship and maturity.
For many people, religion indoctrinated them with a lot of limiting, destructive and self-sabotaging ideas.
A few of them are:
I am inherently bad.
I can't trust myself.
My heart is wicked.
I deserve punishment.
I don't measure up.
I am powerless.
Self-denial is holiness.
I need forgiveness for who I am.
I need saved from myself.
I am worthless on my own.
Staying in an abusive relationship is spiritual.
Clinical therapy is a lack of faith.
Self-care is selfish.
The world is evil.
If I mess up I will lose my salvation and go to hell.
People I deeply love are in hell or will go there.
Everything outside my church culture is a threat.
I can never be good enough.
Feelings are dangerous and not trustworthy.
I am not capable of thinking for myself.
Conformity is true discipleship.
27 choices I made, rebuilding my life after religion: 1. Made peace with my religious past. 2. Took responsibility in determining my beliefs through critical thinking, direct experience, and self-reflection. 3. Stopped dividing up the world into "sacred" and "secular.”
4. Began trusting my natural abilities, skills and tools to guide and direct my life in a way that is meaningful to me. 5. Started looking past labels and stereotypes, and relating to the deepest reality I knew was present in every human being.
6. Shifted my mindset about my humanness from being a liability to an asset. 7. Resisted the need to build a persona around being a spiritual person. 8. Explored ultimate reality and life’s existential questions through science, philosophy and psychology.