Fine. Let me tell you the saga of the time I actually got in-indoctrinated about something in college.
I cannot really tell you what that was like. It was a revelation. It nearly broke me. A pod of wild orcas is this sleek, chilling, predatory wildness.
“It’s a stress response.”
“They said it was age!”
“They say that, yes.”
Magna Mater and Mithras. He had all this information and
WASN’T IT COOL?! Really fabulous professor.
“Uhhh...look, I’m not here to talk about your faith, that’s a very personal—“
“I’m pagan. Don’t worry.”
Reader, I am an affable, distractable soul until I am interested in something and then I become focused like a beagle scenting ham.
“We don’t know! I mean, Paul says he’s descended from David through Joseph and Paul was the closest to a contemporary but it’s possible he was illegitimate because of this other bit here and there is no way of knowing from available sources!”
I called my mother at long distance rates. (Kids, ask your aged parents.)
“Well, no,” she said. “I always thought it was a metaphor for his divinity.”
My mother rallied and said that there was value to spiritual imagery. I countered bitterly with the plot to “Angels Aware” in which I had been forced to sing.
“I STOOD ON THE BOTTOM OF THE LIVING CHRISTMAS TREE MOM”
“Gosh, these long distance rates must be killing you,” said Mom. “I’ll call you next week. Love you, honey!”
I went and listened to Slayer for two hours and then got really savagely stoned.
And also that I am still quite bitter about my time spent on the Living Christmas Tree.