Thread by @ekownyankah

I try to avoid adding to the rage storm bit of twitter. But this one seemed to invite discussion.
Years ago I wrote a piece in @nytimes. The title (chosen by the publication if you don't know) was Can My Children Be Friends With White People?

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nytimes.com/2017/11/11/opi…

Not what I would have chosen but even if distracting it captured the stakes I wanted to discuss.

To this day, I get hate mail over the piece. It is unpleasant to write about and I am always impressed by those with thicker skin than mine.

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Much of the mail reacts to what they imagine the piece said, without reading it. Almost all of it, besides being condescending and insulting, asks some version of “why do you hate White people?”

Of course, the article says no such thing.

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What I wrote, and stand by, is that race in America is a scarring divide. It separates us all in ways that are difficult to overcome. But my op-ed was fatalistic or hopeless. It was meant as indictment and challenge. It was about what it means to actually be trustworthy.

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Particularly focused the White support for Trump and on the way too many people are sure that racism is about their being “nice” people. They lend sugar to their neighbors and certainly let their daughter play with that Black girl.

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And if their politics ignores the racism of this politician or the way that policy ensures their wealth preserves every privilege and actively resists racial justice; well, they are still nice people.

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Today someone I had never met left me a LONG message at work. He explained, in a very even voice, that he, a White guy, came from a very privileged background and played high level lacrosse his whole life. In turn, he has spent years running a lacrosse team in Harlem.

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This has allowed him to help “countless” young men get into boarding school.

Some of you see where this is going...

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One difficulty, he says, has been getting the parents of his athletes to trust him. Thus, after reading MY article, he realized he will never gain their trust. Thus, he was giving up and concentrating on himself. That is, because of people like me, he is walking away...

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Thus, presumably I am to blame for some number of young Black men who will never go to boarding school.

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So I have two instincts. The first is to be stunned at the obtuse reading of my piece, the immaturity of thinking one should reach out to the writer of an op-ed and…lay a high school like guilt trip on them? And lastly, the amount of coddling certain privileged egos need.

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I am also tempted to simply write such a person off… If it is too hard to know that when you do not stand up to others galvanizing racism for their benefit means I will never be able to trust, I’m not sure you are the ally you think you are.

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ON THE OTHER HAND, the guy claims years of having supported minority communities to his credit. Despite his [ ] tone, perhaps it is an opportunity to PUT ASIDE MY IMMENSE IRRITATION and engage.

So? What think you all?

end.