Thread by @Neal_Freyman

Thread: Hypothetical plot for a Seinfeld episode in the age of Covid.

🎵Theme music plays...🎵

Fade in...

George is loving the “work from home” life and doesn’t want to go back to the office when the Yankees reopen during NYC’s Phase 3. He fakes testing positive for Covid.

Elaine is dating a famous epidemiologist and loving the attention.

Kramer gets a tip that used PPE is selling for a premium of up to 50% on the internet. He launches a Shopify store with Newman selling used masks, face shields, etc, arguing it’s perfectly safe.

With venues closed, Jerry starts livestreaming his comedy sets.

Elaine is growing frustrated because anytime she asks to do something with her boyfriend, he says he has to “self-quarantine.” She’s starting to suspect he’s seeing someone else.

George receives news that the MLB is returning in just a few weeks. However, he is not allowed in the “bubble” because he told the Yankees he tested positive for Covid. He’s disgruntled and plotting vengeance.

Jerry, meanwhile, has major wi-fi issues and after a series of glitchy performances, is forced to conduct his livestream from Kramer’s apartment, now a bustling warehouse for used PPE.

One day at work, Mr. Peterman tells Elaine he’s seen the most amazing thing online—an autographed mask used by Dr. Fauci. Illiterate with e-commerce, he asks Elaine to buy it for $5,000 and have it delivered to her house, which she does.

The site, of course, is the one created by Kramer and Newman.

At the same time, the FBI has noticed a pickup in the black market for PPE, and they think they know who’s behind it: a comedian who’s livestreaming performances in front of a growing mountain of boxes.

George is also in the market for used PPE—he wants to sabotage the Yankees season by making a few players test positive. He runs into some players on the team and offers them Kramer’s used masks before they go into a store.

Elaine’s boyfriend emerges from quarantine only to come to her apartment and find Dr. Fauci’s autographed mask sitting on her counter. He's offended he’s not her favorite epidemiologist and leaves in a huff.

After a few players test positive, the Yankees are forced to forfeit the season and announce they’re furloughing employees, including George.

The FBI raid Kramer’s apartment while Jerry’s performing and arrest Jerry. Freeze on Jerry getting arrested in his boxers.

The end.

@IJasonAlexander what do you think?

@JerrySeinfeld? feel like you'd have some opinions on the matter