Thread by @LiliSparx

Today I'd like to talk about Borderline Personality Disorder #bpd & recovery from it.

When I finished She-ra and the Princesses of Power, Catra's redemption hit me hard. And that's when I realized it's because she also exhibited a lot of patterns of BPD. [THREAD + SPOILERS]

So what is Borderline Personality Disorder?

BPD is a mental health disorder that affects self-image, emotional regulation, and relationship management.

It is often diagnosed based on showing at least 5 of the 9 symptoms

helpguide.org/articles/menta…

From the get-go, Catra was a difficult character to watch. That's because she exhibits many symptoms of BPD.

- Fear of abandonment
- Unstable relationships
- Shifting self-image
- Impulsive & destructive behaviour
- Feelings of emptiness
- Explosive anger
- Suspicion/paranoia

BPD is often caused by early-age abandonment or trauma. The show starts off with Adora leaving Catra to join The Rebellion.

While this move makes sense to most people and for a protagonist, it undoubtedly shook Catra and triggered intense emotions about perceived abandonment.

From the beginning, it's obvious that Catra cares about Adora. But we also see some of Catra's attachment to Shadow Weaver.

However Shadow Weaver always favoured Adora and belittled Catra in an incredibly emotionally abusive manner, leaving Catra traumatized and confused.

Despite still having Shadow Weaver and others in her life, Catra became fixated on Adora's "abandonment". She became obsessed with bringing Adora back to her, at any cost.

This is a common behavior in BPD. Desperate attempts to reclaim someone, even if it hurts them.

But, you may ask, how could you hurt someone you love so much?

That is caused by a common BPD behavior called Splitting. Splitting is when the BPD brain categorizes everything into good/evil with nothing in between.

When Adora left Catra, she thus became "evil" in Catra's eyes.

People with BPD often use splitting as a defense mechanism. If they love us, they won't hurt us, so if they "abandon" us then that means they don't love us and thus are evil.

Splitting can happen quite suddenly and shift back and forth between good/bad.

healthline.com/health/bpd-spl…

Catra struggles with her perception of Adora throughout the show. She has many happy memories of Adora, but because of Shadow Weaver's upbringing she also feels like Adora's rival/enemy.

This shows not only splitting, but also Catra's shifting self-image and paranoia.

People may watch Catra and wonder how she often goes from full-out angry to sleek and calm within the blink of an eye.

People with BPD are incredibly emotional but don't have the tools to regulate their emotions. Instead, they learn to "detach" and turn them off completely.

So that's Catra's past bonds. Let's look now at her newer relationships, starting with Scorpia.

It's obvious to most that Scorpia loves Catra and would never betray her. She does everything she can to befriend Catra and shower her with love.

But Catra never lets her get close.

If people with BPD are so obsessed with not being abandoned, why not cherish someone so obviously devoted to you? Why hurt them instead?

Because of the suspicion/paranoia. Because letting someone in means letting someone possibly hurt you, or possibly hurting them someday.

It's hard to watch the way Catra treats Scorpia. She mocks her, bosses her around, and is generally abusive. So it makes sense when Scorpia finally leaves.

Catra seems genuinely confused/hurt by this. But then she detaches, splits, and blames Scorpia instead of herself.

To the audience, it may seem like Catra is creating her own troubles. She hurts everyone until they leave her, then she hurts and punishes them because they left her.

This is classic BPD.

With the splitting, it's easy to see every loved one as an enemy or a threat. Thus Catra.

So let's talk about Catra's redemption. She decides to save Adora, then Adora saves her. But even after being saved, she's hostile and confused. It takes time to help her feel comfortable and safe but when Adora reaches out to her, Catra begins to open up a little.

From my BPD lens, seeing Catra face her emotions was the biggest piece to her redemption. Having to (literally) stare down her anger and violence, she begins to learn how to calm her emotions and manage them instead of allowing them to run rampant.

When Catra leaves them again after Adora gains the failsafe, it was probably confusing to the general audience.

Why would she leave? She finally had love and friendship and she seemed happy. Adora was doing what she needed to do (save the universe). Why was Catra so selfish?

To me, it was simple. Adora had chosen to leave Catra. Even though her intentions were super good, Catra still perceived it as abandonment.

And because of this perception, even though Adora tried to get her to stay, Catra wanted to hurt her by protecting herself and leaving.

But then... the redemption. Catra decides to return to Adora, despite all the pain and hurt. She swallows her pride and teams up with Shadow Weaver. She then gets a moment of love from her, the mother she never had.

And when it came to it, Catra committed to staying with Adora.

So all of this super long thread to say: I bawled when Catra told Adora she wasn't going to leave her.

I didn't see it for five seasons and then all of Catra's pain suddenly became so clear to me, because it was all pain and struggle that I had faced too.

I cheated in every relationship I ever had. I hurt so many friends, partners, people around me because I was so scared of being alone and hurt.

It wasn't until I was diagnosed and started gaining tools to manage my emotions that I finally could build something real and solid.

Yesterday I got engaged to a wonderful man. He's not perfect. I'm not perfect. But I don't care. I trust him. I love him. He makes me feel safe and I *know* he won't leave me.

And finally I feel like I've come to my redemption. I'm committed. I'm not leaving, despite the pain.

I've been traumatized and abandoned just like Catra. I've lashed out and hurt those I love just like Catra.

But like Catra I now see that the best healing comes from committing and loving and working past the hurt.

Thank you @Gingerhazing for this show 💖 I am redeemed.

@threadreaderapp unroll please