Thread by @KoryStamper

I SURE CAN! BUCKLE UP, BUTTERCUPS.

Yoho's non-pology starts with "the abrupt manner of the conversation I had with my colleague from New York." Coupla things about that statement: 1/x

https://twitter.com/brianpkurz/status/1286742239549562883

1. He's apologizing for his "abrupt manner" like he's Fitzwilliam Goddamned Darcy and not for what he said. Notice the subtle deflection, as if the words themselves were incidental and not actually offensive. But, okay, let's focus on this: he's sorry for his _manner_. 2/x

2. He calls the exchange a "conversation." A conversation is interactive and involves active listening and usually an exchange of ideas. "Conversation" makes it seem like they were talking about the weather. It's a reframing that makes her version of events seem outsized. 3/x

3. He won't call AOC by her name, but refers to her as "my colleague from New York." Okay. Better than "AOC" or "Ms. Ocasio-Cortez," maybe? Frames her as an equal? Seems like a slightly more humanizing start, right? JUST YOU WAIT! 4/x

4. Because the next words to plop out of his fool mouth are "The offensive name-calling words attributed to me by the press were never spoken to my colleagues, and if they were constructed that way, I apologize for their misunderstanding." Let's ling-splore this BS together! 5/x

5. "Offensive"--check.

"Name-calling"--a little infantilizing.

"Attributed to me by the press"--Distancing and blame-shifting. I did not say those words; THE PRESS, those bastards, said I did! Who can tell what words were said or not, it's all just a vast mystery! 6/x

6. "Were never spoken." HEY PASSIVE VOICE, IT'S YA BOY, TED YOHO FROM FLA! Passive is used to distance an actor from a distasteful or wrong action. Words that are spoken have an originating point, and that originating point, in this case, is Ted's angry face. 7/x

And to whom were these mysterious nonwords never spoken to? "My colleagues." Again the appeal to collegiality, while also slyly suggesting that maaaaaybe AOC isn't _really_ a colleague? He's a perfect gentleman! She's the one casting aspersions! 8/x

7. Then the usual nonpology: "if they were constructed that way, I apologize for their misunderstanding." Not: I made a dumb with my face and I am sorry for it. Instead: these disembodied words were willfully misunderstood by someone. How sad for those words, the true heroes. 9/x

On to the kicker: "I cannot apologize for my passion, or for loving my God, my family, and my country."

I don't know what God (who weeps over your shitty behavior, Ted), your family, or your country have to do with this. Let's talk "passion." 10/x

"Passion" is a word with generally positive or neutral connotations, even--and this is amazing--when the word is applied to negative things. A "crime of passion," for instance, recasts the motive for a crime as romantic jealousy. It becomes softer, more understandable. 11/x

Yoho uses "passion" here to work that connotation. He's just so damned _passionate_ about God, family, and country that he couldn't help himself!

"Passion" also implies a strong, driving feeling that often serves as the basis for action. About that... 12/x

By invoking "passion" at the end of this nonpology, Ted _undoes his entire distancing and distraction-laden set-up_. "Passion" in these situations connotes action. Poor passive voice!

So not only does he not apologize, but he tells on himself, too. OH TED. 13/FIN

Anyway, now I'm going to have a Wegman's ginger seltzer and go back to not even knowing who Ted Yoho is, and I recommend y'all do the same. 💜