Thread by @somethingfell

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JOSEPH GORON-LEVITT IS IN TROUBLE!!

AND THE ONLY MAN WHO CAN SAVE HIM IS… JOE BIDEN?!?!

Confused? I’ll explain… (1/??)

This is Joseph Gordon-Levitt. A man of boundless charm and energy, Gordon-Levitt (or ‘JGL’, as he is commonly known) is one of the few child actors to successfully transition to adult roles, becoming one of the most recognizable performers of his generation. (2/??)

JGL landed a lead role in 1994’s ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD before getting his big break when the TV series 3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN debuted in 1996. In 1999, he entered the halls of teen movie history with his iconic supporting turn in 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU. (3/??)

As an adult, JGL developed into an attractive-yet-nonthreatening leading man, appearing in movies like 500 DAYS OF SUMMER, LOOPER, 50/50, and PREMIUM RUSH. He also turned in memorable supporting performances in movies like INCEPTION, LINCOLN, and THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. (4/??)

At this point, you’re probably wondering what any of this has to do with presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden. To answer that question, I have to pose a different question:

Where exactly has Joseph Gordon-Levitt been for the last few years?

(5/??)

After a period of high cultural saturation in the first half of this decade, JGL is nowhere to be found these days, aside from a view voice-only cameos and the occasional gig as emcee of the Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis. (6/??)

But this isn’t the first time JGL has vanished! After the cancellation of 3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN in 2001, JGL appeared only sporadically in independent films that ranged from the critically-beloved (BRICK, MYSTERIOUS SKIN) to the universally forgotten (LATTER DAYS, HAVOC). (7/??)

If we consider the periods in time in which JGL was a prominent actor appearing in major studio releases (1992 - 2000, 2009 - 2016) and the times when he seemed to disappear entirely (2000 - 2008, 2016 - present), we are led, inevitably, to a single, shocking conclusion:

(8/??)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is only famous when a Democrat is president. (9/???)

This chart (courtesy of the inimitable @kelseyrebecca) lays out the truth in stark detail: with the exception of his role in Disney’s 2002 bomb TREASURE PLANET, JGL’s box-office draw is entirely dependent on what political party currently holds the executive office. (11/???)

When Barack Obama was president, JGL was the lead villain in a G.I. JOE movie that grossed $300 million, co-starred in a comedy with Seth Rogen, acted across Daniel Day-Lewis in a Spielberg movie, and at the conclusion of THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, literally became Batman. (12/???)

In contrast, when George W. Bush was president, JGL guest starred on a single episode of NUMB3RS and was fifth-billed in a Lee Daniels movie where Cuba Gooding, Jr. plays a hitman who has sex with his stepmother. (13/???)

In 2013, JGL was, for reasons that are still unclear, permitted to write, direct and star in the anti-porn parable DON JON, whose cast includes Scarlett Johansson, Julianne Moore and Tony Danza (playing JGL’s dad) -- something that could only happen in #ObamasAmerica (14/???)

Everything changed in late September 2016, when JGL starred in SNOWDEN, a contemporary political thriller directed by Oliver Stone and based on the story of CIA whistleblower and international sex symbol Edward Snowden. (15/???)

Based on political relevance and creative pedigree, SNOWDEN was clearly positioned to be a major contender at that year's Oscars, but instead it underperformed, lingering in theaters only a few weeks before disappearing completely in late October. (16/???)

To put a finer point on it: Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s last gasp as a big-name leading actor came at the end of Obama's presidency, before his career was completely snuffed out by the election of Donald Trump. (17/????)

But it seems that the winds of change are blowing again: just last month, Amazon released 7500, an action-thriller featuring JGL in the lead role (though it should be noted that Amazon originally acquired the movie over a year ago and had been sitting on it since then). (18/????)

In August, JGL will star alongside Jamie Foxx in the Netflix superhero movie PROJECT POWER, and in October he’ll appear as part of the ensemble cast of Aaron Sorkin’s TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7. (19/???)

Clearly, the powers that be are testing the waters, looking with guarded optimism towards a Biden presidency, when the man who once created and hosted something called ‘HitRecord on TV’ can once again dominate the public consciousness. (20/??)

This election day, when you step behind the curtain, take a moment before you pull the lever for your chosen candidate and remember that you're not just voting for your own future --

You're voting for his.

(End of thread.)

seriously though, does anybody know what this is? has anybody actually seen a single episode of it? like what exactly was going on here