With mine I break things down into 3 pots. As soon as they were old enough I made sure they knew which kind of convo it was.
1. Crisis: orders to act, or not act to avoid immediate risk of death and/or risk of physical and other injury. 2/4
3. Guidance: Give me a good reason to shut up, or a better alternative and I will often modify or back off 3/4
At the same time I know how lucky we are. So desperately sad for kids whose parents can’t or won’t get them, or who leverage their power to abuse.
Her: “Why are toddlers so cute!”
Me: “So we don’t leave them places, or let them die”