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I fought “because I say so” tooth and nail.

With mine I break things down into 3 pots. As soon as they were old enough I made sure they knew which kind of convo it was.

Ofc it all hangs off having good info and best interests of kid at heart. Plus your idea of good not diverging horribly from theirs.

1. Crisis: orders to act, or not act to avoid immediate risk of death and/or risk of physical and other injury. 2/4
2. Rule: keepIng them safe and healthy, with a ‘why’. Take or leave, but I stick by it until evidence changes and strongly incentivise and selectively sanction.

3. Guidance: Give me a good reason to shut up, or a better alternative and I will often modify or back off 3/4
Works for mine. Mostly. Comes with giving them a heck of a lot of freedoms that other parents may not. They also teach me loads.

At the same time I know how lucky we are. So desperately sad for kids whose parents can’t or won’t get them, or who leverage their power to abuse.
P.S. Have frequently felt I was getting it utterly wrong and letting them down or scarring them for life. That is also normal, I’m reliably informed
Related convo with youngest who is currently trying to breed as many Sims as possible:

Her: “Why are toddlers so cute!”

Me: “So we don’t leave them places, or let them die”
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