I was inspired by this thread, so I want to share some of the signs from my childhood that I was neurodivergent.
Photo: One of these children is being forced into a social situation. "Go swimming with the neighborhood gang!" they told the autistic kid. "It'll be fun!"
Photo: One of these children is being forced into a social situation. "Go swimming with the neighborhood gang!" they told the autistic kid. "It'll be fun!"
1. Speech
I did not babble or speak when I was supposed to. Eventually, I began asking "What's this?" and "What's that?" but said little else. When I started to speak, I used complete sentences and formal language. I began school, and people noticed I was selectively mute.
I did not babble or speak when I was supposed to. Eventually, I began asking "What's this?" and "What's that?" but said little else. When I started to speak, I used complete sentences and formal language. I began school, and people noticed I was selectively mute.
2. Developmental Delays
Aside from speech, I also had delays in potty training and other milestones. I drank from a bottle until I was seven. I carried stuffed toys/puppets with me everywhere but school, where I was not allowed to do that.
Aside from speech, I also had delays in potty training and other milestones. I drank from a bottle until I was seven. I carried stuffed toys/puppets with me everywhere but school, where I was not allowed to do that.
3. Sensory Issues
I cried when I got sticky. I constantly fought with my mother because she wanted me to wear itchy, uncomfortable clothes.
Photo One: Little me trying to hold candy without getting any on my fingers.
Photo Two: Me just after a massive meltdown over clothes.
I cried when I got sticky. I constantly fought with my mother because she wanted me to wear itchy, uncomfortable clothes.
Photo One: Little me trying to hold candy without getting any on my fingers.
Photo Two: Me just after a massive meltdown over clothes.
3. Sensory Issues, cont'd
I also sought out certain sensory stimuli. I buried my face in fluffy stuff, felt compelled to touch interesting textures, and frequently rocked myself.
Photo: Me in sweats (the only thing I tolerated without a fight), snuggling my cat.
I also sought out certain sensory stimuli. I buried my face in fluffy stuff, felt compelled to touch interesting textures, and frequently rocked myself.
Photo: Me in sweats (the only thing I tolerated without a fight), snuggling my cat.
4. Lining Things Up
I lined up my stuffed toys every night before bed. I collected over 1500 bottle caps, and I lined them all up. I lined up my Polly Pockets. I lined up tiny paintings I cut from the backs of old calendars. I lined up seashells...
Photo: My bedtime ritual.
I lined up my stuffed toys every night before bed. I collected over 1500 bottle caps, and I lined them all up. I lined up my Polly Pockets. I lined up tiny paintings I cut from the backs of old calendars. I lined up seashells...
Photo: My bedtime ritual.
5. Echolalia
At bedtime, I also needed my grandmother to recite the same script with me. Every night. She had her parts; I had mine.
My pops played echolalia games with me, encouraging me to repeat him so I could learn new words. He also invented nonsense words just for family.
At bedtime, I also needed my grandmother to recite the same script with me. Every night. She had her parts; I had mine.
My pops played echolalia games with me, encouraging me to repeat him so I could learn new words. He also invented nonsense words just for family.
6. Food Problems
I was a "picky eater." We had one of those plates to keep the food from touching.
Since my family was poor, I sometimes went without eating. Kid me was very thin and frequently ill. I felt like I had no choice, though. Eating would have ALSO made me ill.
I was a "picky eater." We had one of those plates to keep the food from touching.
Since my family was poor, I sometimes went without eating. Kid me was very thin and frequently ill. I felt like I had no choice, though. Eating would have ALSO made me ill.
7. Sleep
Nobody could make me go to bed at proper times. I slept around four to six hours a night.
I would stay up reading, or I would sneak out of the house in the middle of the night. I'd hide in the brush in our yard, enjoying the solitude, dark, and quiet.
Photo: AWAKE.
Nobody could make me go to bed at proper times. I slept around four to six hours a night.
I would stay up reading, or I would sneak out of the house in the middle of the night. I'd hide in the brush in our yard, enjoying the solitude, dark, and quiet.
Photo: AWAKE.
8. Stimming
I stimmed ALL THE TIME. I rocked myself. I loved swings, especially tire swings, which I could spin in circles very fast. I once spun in circles for a full hour.
Also, I made "dinosaur hands." Timeout was never boring.
Photos: Hair stimming as a toddler.
I stimmed ALL THE TIME. I rocked myself. I loved swings, especially tire swings, which I could spin in circles very fast. I once spun in circles for a full hour.
Also, I made "dinosaur hands." Timeout was never boring.
Photos: Hair stimming as a toddler.
9. Communication Troubles
The speech delay, mutism, and inability to understand my own emotions-- those led to widespread issues. I would lash out physically because I could not communicate.
Once I hit my dad in the face with a broom to wake him up. I got in a lot of fights.
The speech delay, mutism, and inability to understand my own emotions-- those led to widespread issues. I would lash out physically because I could not communicate.
Once I hit my dad in the face with a broom to wake him up. I got in a lot of fights.
9. Communication Troubles, cont'd
The school counselor pulled me out of class for social emotional learning. Basically I played board games with other kids to practice "normal behavior."
My parents took me to therapy, where I learned that not knowing my feelings was unusual.
The school counselor pulled me out of class for social emotional learning. Basically I played board games with other kids to practice "normal behavior."
My parents took me to therapy, where I learned that not knowing my feelings was unusual.
10. Special Interests
I watched Star Wars over...
...and over...
...and over...
...and over...
Then, I grew up.
I named my kid after Princess Leia. I have a spaceship collection, a stuffed wookiee, and a Lego Yoda clock.
Because autistic kids become autistic adults.
I watched Star Wars over...
...and over...
...and over...
...and over...
Then, I grew up.
I named my kid after Princess Leia. I have a spaceship collection, a stuffed wookiee, and a Lego Yoda clock.
Because autistic kids become autistic adults.
Nobody said I was autistic back then.
I remember watching this made-for-TV movie. A girl sat on the floor and rocked herself. Everyone around her was horrified/unsympathetic. I got mad. I knew EXACTLY why the girl rocked herself.
My grandmother told me the girl was autistic.
I remember watching this made-for-TV movie. A girl sat on the floor and rocked herself. Everyone around her was horrified/unsympathetic. I got mad. I knew EXACTLY why the girl rocked herself.
My grandmother told me the girl was autistic.
I thought, "Oh!"
But the girl was loud, and I was quiet. She did poorly at school, and I did well. I tucked the thought away. I never considered it again until I saw YouTube videos by autistic adults.
Now I know why life was always so confusing.
Photos: Mystery solved.
But the girl was loud, and I was quiet. She did poorly at school, and I did well. I tucked the thought away. I never considered it again until I saw YouTube videos by autistic adults.
Now I know why life was always so confusing.
Photos: Mystery solved.
