He sits across from me, casually stirring his cup of coffee.
I glance over his shoulder at the door.
We are waiting for someone to join us.
He smiles, “She won’t come by yet.” 1/
I’m trying to figure out why, when he speaks, “It’s because I’m younger. Much younger, doc. You’ll meet me fifty years from now.”
I nod, as if that makes any sense. He smiles, amused at my confusion. 2/
Looking around, I don’t see any cell phones. Everyone is talking to each other. I can’t see a TV, or hear any traffic.
He smiles, “Peaceful, isn’t it? I was vacationing here when I met her.”
A woman enters. 3/
She’s beautiful, in her genuine happiness.
He introduces me as she joins us at our table. He’s so charismatic with her, they have such easy chemistry. 4/
He looks at me, and his smile is tinged with melancholy, “You see why now?”
I nod. “This was the happiest moment, right here. The moment you wanted to come back to.” 5/
I listen to him, and smile, understanding. 6/
I will never see his wife, like I do now. I will only ever hear her voice on the phone, and listen to her weep.
These dreams are only imaginings. 7/
The water is the deepest blue, stretching into an infinite horizon.
I’m not alone. There’s someone else on this beach.
She walks alone, the breeze blowing her long hair back. 8/
I know why. It’s because she never looked back.
She never saw her footprints, so why would she remember them?
And yet, all we ever know of some people are the footprints they leave behind. 9/
“Why here?” I ask the question, and then immediately regret it.
She looks to me with an expression of loss so deep that it makes me ache inside.
“Because of my family.” 10/
I nod, taking a deep breath. “Why would you choose here?”
Her voice is quiet.
“It’s the last time we’ll be together.” 11/
“No doc, by the time you see me, I’ll already be coding. But you try, you really do. Everyone does.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t bring you here to accuse you.”
“Then why?” I ask.
She smiles sadly, “To show you.” 12/
I breathe in the scent of the sea, “It’s beautiful.”
She nods, “Yes, it was. It really was.”
She falls silent, and I wish I could’ve helped her. 13/
I’m sitting across from an old man. We are in a park, on opposite sides of a chess board on a small table. The old man gestures, “Your move, kid.”
I look at the board, and slide a pawn forward.
The old man grins. 14/
Lined up. Waiting to be moved. Rigidly following the rules. Being pushed forwards, pulled back. Taking other pieces, sacrificing themselves.
The old man smiles, then nods, “Feel like a chess piece lately? Pawn? Or royalty?” 15/
“No kidding!” The old man laughs. “Having these dreams where you give people a past they never had, just to feel a connection to something that was never real.”
“I’m tired of seeing people so sick, so incapacitated, that all they seem to be is data.” 16/
“Hmm... three things, kiddo. One, you need to stop trying to comprehend what people are losing. Life is irreplaceable. You can’t even begin to understand the depths of all that loss. It will overwhelm you.” 17/
He carries on, “Two, stop seeking forgiveness. We all need forgiveness at some point. Start with forgiving yourself.”
I nod, “Ok, what about the third thing?”
He grins, “Three. Checkmate.”
Dammit. 18/
I nod, then finally ask him, “You’re me, aren’t you? From the future or something?”
The old man laughs. “There’s no future, and no past. Just footprints in the sand, and breaking waves on the shore.”
I awaken.