Thread by @garwboy

Dear strangers;

Once again

No, I'm not 'babysitting', I'm their father

No, I didn't 'draw the short straw'. They're my children. I like them a lot

No, it's not 'mum's day off'. It's the exact opposite, she's in work. Women can have official jobs these days. It's a thing.

While I'm on about unhelpful sexist tropes, the whole 'man flu' thing can do one as well

Men believing they can't show any vulnerability ever causes major problems in our society. The immediate mocking of them when they confess to any illness at all just strongly reinforces it

This tweet blew up somewhat. Clearly it's still a big and an annoying everyday occurrence.

However, in case anyone thinks I'm some sort of uber-parent, here's one incident that shows how *adept* I am at being a hands-on Dad

(Brief thread)

/1

https://twitter.com/garwboy/status/1291317740188381184

When my son (our first) was only a few months old, we'd take him out to cafes and stuff, and if he needed changing we'd take it in turns. Standard.

One particular time a nearby cafe, his nappy was full, so off I went to change him. So far, so normal.

/2

We were in a small cafe that we knew had baby changing facilities. They were somewhat cramped, because it was a small place. But they were there, and that was the main thing. Meant I was pressed right up against the changing table though

/3

So, removed the grim used nappy, disposed of it, cleaned him up, then got the new one out of the bag

I know now I should have got the new one out ahead of time, as my approach meant there was a window where my baby son was 'al fresco'. And this was a mistake

/4

The brief moment his nethers were exposed to the world was when my baby son opted to empty his surprisingly still full (and surprisingly voluminous) bladder

And him being male meant it was 'projected' somewhat.

/5

In short, as I was changing his nappy, my baby son pissed on me

While we were out in public

That'd be bad enough, but for added hilarity, he got me right on the front of my trousers. So I ended up with a huge wet patch on my groinal area

/6

It looked... not great

Hence I got him nappied and dressed, washed my hands, and hurried to give him back to mum while I got something to dry myself with, to avoid embarrassment.

This backfired immensely, due to the following conversation with a member of staff behind the counter

/7

Me: "Excuse me, do you have any paper towels?"

Staff: "Yes, I'll just..." [Sees big wet patch on front of my trousers]

Me: "Ah, yes. I know. But it's not what it looks like"

"..."

"I mean, it *is* piss. But don't worry, it's not mine"

"..."

"It's a child's!"

"...!!"

/8

Yeah, didn't go back to that cafe for a while.

/end

Told my son about this earlier, given how he's 8 now, not 2 months old. He was pissing himself, ironically (and, thankfully, metaphorically)

https://twitter.com/garwboy/status/1291637975575560192