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I actually like I May Destroy You specifically because of how messy and personal it is. Arabella is an anti-hero and that’s how she’s supposed to be
I actually don’t see a whole lot of myself as a survivor in this show and that’s what intrigues me about it. It’s deeply personal.

And Arabella does shitty things and has shitty ideas and that’s realistic
People don’t get assaulted and become experts on the issue overnight. They may remain entrenched in r*pe culture for the rest of their lives, does it make their story any less compelling? I don’t think so
Arabella is homophobic and biphobic, a bad friend, horrible with boundaries, and seems to have a bit of low self-esteem. She’s also ego-driven and disrespectful people’s investment in her. She’s not the hero of this story and I don’t think we were ever meant to see her as one.
I’m also not saying I’m a perfect survivor because I’ve been HORRIBLE to some people in my healing process and my politics have shifted over the years. What I am saying is that so much of Arabella feels personal to her and not a universally applicable story
I think that’s why we don’t seem to see a lot of personal essays about the show. It’s harder to see yourself in this show, I think. It’s not a mirror
But what I love about this show is this constant feverish back and forth of power dynamics and boundary-violations. It forces you to think and take responsibility for things you may have done. Now, I don’t like what she said on the clip
But the show is about taking responsibility for mistakes you may have made while acknowledging that you didn’t deserve certain things and understanding that someone had more power over you. Like her, Biaggio, and the door. She was wrong but he had more power, it made it complex
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