Thread by @Astropartigirl

Just learned of cliquey exclusionary stuff going on where specific accounts were boosted for followers, and others left in the dust. Some personally hurt. I'm one of the scicommers "left in the dust", had no idea, but here are my thoughts since I'm part of "Science Twitter":

I wanted you all to know I had no idea, was not included in the group. I worked VERY hard on my following with my scicomm for years, with no luxury of a group boosting me. I DID notice accounts (that happen to be part of this fiasco) gain a significant following.

I didn't get it since I was producing great content (imo). Wondered what I was doing wrong, felt inadequate, less important. And quite frankly, worthless in Twittersphere. Didn't understand how accounts who haven't done what I have for as long as me, earned followings I did not.

I'm pretty shocked I didn't know about said group, as some of the ppl are "close friends". But that's part of the problem: the fact that my FRIENDS didn't include me on the boosts makes me feel I'm less than. It's so NOT TRUE, but it took posts of @itatiVCS for me to understand.

I'm so sorry it did, I'm certain the situation made @itatiVCS feel bad. Turns out humans like to feel part of something. I was never privy to it as I'm part Muslim part Jewish. So learning about this clique hurt me more BECAUSE I'm used to being excluded for my roots.

I also want you to understand those involved. They did it bc they felt they'd not be seen otherwise. I sympathize. But it's worrying to see a group secretly doing this with ppl hand-picked and not considering people like me which been working on it for so long.

I put my everything into my work and did it with the passion, so yes I see this as a slight on me *particularly*. People in the group know how much I've worked, and didn't even think I'm worth the boost. And I won't forget that since I know who's part of it which hurts even more

If you felt slighted by the group, I want you to consider this: they wanted to reap benefits they saw as a given for what they've done ever if not as long as others (in many cases, forgivable for this reason). What you might not understand about Twitter is the worst parts of it.

We all have worked hard, some longer than others, to gather a following. Not because of fame, but because it's a crucial part of what we want to do. I'm a scientist, but always an artist at heart. I wanted the opportunity to be seen for all I have to offer. Which is so much.

I worked tooth and nail to get here. Google my name+Pluto Safari. Check my site, where I discuss physics. Thanks to amazing ppl incl @BadAstronomer (forever inspo), @AstroKatie (will apply for postdoc bc BRILLIANTBEST) @JPMajor, @TheSpaceGal, @_Astro_Nerd_, @starstrickenSF+more.

I am sharing this bc I'm an account considered "on top of things", and may be considered part of "cliquey boosts". I am not. I have never been approached by them despite being friends with many. What I do, I do because I love it and think you will too, not just to gain followers.

You're all important to me as it is, you've either been around long enough or have not known this side of Twitter. Unfortunately, Twitter can be just as shitty as real life. We're all human. This isn't okay, and everyone part of that fiasco i have to believe understand that.

Everyone who took advantage of a boost that clearly disadvantages everyone else (particularly those like me who've worked hard to get where we are) probably didn't realize this activity really was akin to shitting on the work myself and others have been working on for YEARS.

Please don't judge them. They didn't realize/know. They wanted benefits since Twitter is hard. I must say I kinda take comfort, knowing that the accounts I've seen boosted, were, due to orchestrated event rather than me being inadequate (I'm sure I'd have gotten similar if told).

I still think it's pretty despicable, considering it was a large LARGE group, rather than say, 3 or 4 people who were close friends. Make no mistake this WAS exclusionary and wrong. But people make mistakes. It's what they do to fix them that counts.

And finally, to be transparent to those of you so are still here following my updates, I want you to know I DID take a break, after learning a while back this was happening and none of my close friends asked to include me. I did and still do feel hurt. But guess what?

It makes me feel BETTER bc I know the followers I obtained were organic. I was never included in exclusionary efforts like this. Ever. I amplified sound AND marginalized voices, because I know what it feels like to be visibly ethnically different and not be given that ethnicity.

I did what I did on my own. I did have help from some of the best people, but only if their accord. Not bc someone created an exclusionary group. I'm fucking tired of NEVER BEING INCLUDED in groups in general bc I'm half Jewish half Muslim girl who identifies with Judaism.

I'm tired of being "the other girl" always and forever. "The other girl" no one gives a fuck about. "The other girl" who's just too awkward to be accepted as ME by Muslims, and sometimes, not Jewish enough for Jews. Dude I'M WHO I AM WHETHER YOU ACCEPT IT OR NOT.

I am strange, I am weird. I am not the "normal kid" you're used to. And you know what? That's OKAY because I made it where I did, and I did it on my very own, not because I was part of an exclusionary group, but because some already high profile people saw what I am capable of.

And I have ZERO REGRETS because EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU READING THIS are reading it because I DID THE WORK TO GET HERE. I did it. And I won't let you down, I promise. Ever. I will always be true to my passion. Always.

And I won't let you down. I've seen apologies from many people included in the group that's inclusive via exclusion (despite the fact that I understand that exclusionary inclusion IS INHERENTLY EXCLUSIONARY). Keep this in mind. We're humans, not robots. People make mistakes.

Finally, I hope I've made myself transparent to you all. I don't subscribe to the idea that more followers = better follow. And, I hope after learning that I do this because I LOVE IT and LOVE YOU ALL, that you'll remember that about me. I appreciate that I have your support!!

Final thought: I can't help but feel I was excluded for less than noble reasons. I've always been excluded bc I'm the wildcard Jew/Muslim girl. And I'm not a "footnote" on sci Twitter. At least I wasn't tempted to join a cause that's detrimental to ppl who worked hard for theirs.

We work VERY FUCKING HARD to be noticed. Not for fame, but because (at least for me) I know what it feels like to be told I'm a woman. I also know what it feels like to have a dad who helped me say "fck it", and wanted to share that.

I wanted to share that bc I know not everyone has an applied statistician dad. To pass on lessons. You're probably like "but you have a dad w/PhD". But I also fell into drugs that destroyed a huge chunk of my life. AND LOOK WHERE I AM. YET NO ONE THOUGHT I WAS WORTH BOOSTING.

And guess what? SO MANY OF YOU have suffered addiction where, like me, you were told your prospects were trash. What I had that not everyone has, was a family that believed in me. I wanted to infuse people with what I learned. A lot of "Einsteins" are lost to YOUR assumptions.

And I don't need to be hailed by anyone for what I did. I get that ALL THE TIME from my family, my brother (my BIGGEST EVER INFLUENCE on me who has done SO MUCH FOR HIMSELF despite us being raised in a so-called "ghetto" neighborhood in Toronto. Google "Flemo" for details)

What I do want is to change just ONE LIFE. ONE. WHO'S LOST FAITH DUE TO WHAT MEDIA, even YOU, are part of making us believe JUST BC life took us on a path where we get our PhD not at 26, but at 30-something, 40-something, etc, bc AGE DOESN'T MATTER AS MUCH AS YOU MAKE IT SEEM.

The fact that I, an ethnically Jewish and Muslim woman, was excluded is telling. Bc you'd be hard-pressed to show me someone who's born of Muslim AND Jewish parents AND is bi, that you included. Please don't do this. Ppl like me, or LESS FORTUNATE, didn't deserve that. Thank you.

I see each and every one of you. And I forgive you. Just please realize how what you did hurt those of us who relied on ORGANIC GROWTH suffered because of what you did. Each and every one of you. And I've noted ONLY the apologies from those of you part of it, and I forgive you.

Now excuse me, didn't realize Twitter was high school again (where I was bullied AS FUCK, though I had the strength to defend myself physically and mentally). I assure you my account is NOT that type, and will continue as is. Sending love and hugs to all you genuine supporters❤

(And yes I do find it utterly grotesque that you'd do this while excluding people like me who've done nothing but work hard for our reach since what, 2012? Have each and every one of you been doing this? If not, then please look inward to find your faults. Thanks, happy weekend.)

If one of you told about this, I'd tell you how messed up and cliquey and exclusionary this is, just by showing you when I began my own outreach and how I didn't get what you did. But NONE OF YOU TOLD ME, I FOUND OUT THROUGH A WOMAN I DON'T EVEN FOLLOW. And LOTS of you know me.

So yeah, it's not a good look regardless of what you try to say. Think on this. Not cool at all.

(And in case you're wondering, I'm very shocked and hurt bc I knew people in the group, and wasn't told by any. It tells me that y'all either actively excluded me, preventing me of telling how exclusionary this is, even though y'all should've known)

(and despite that I don't understand how any of you didn't take that upon yourself, I get the climate today and how terrifying it is to be that person, in fear of being canceled by the "cool crew")

(Yet it also told me you wanted to either count me as an enemy, or by default eliminate/cancel me. Congrats if that's the feeling you were trying to invoke, and sorry to say it didn't work because I'm still here and not going anywhere. Love all my ppl who continue to follow ❤)

And please continue to to be your high-school-exclusionary-inclusion clique you set out to be. I've learned what it's like to be excluded my ENTIRE LIFE. I'm half Egyptian, half Polish. And guess which group (Muslim or Jewish, OR generally Egyptian and Polish) accepts me:

NEITHER! And when I discuss my tumultuous past, I LOSE MORE of you (WTAF). Well, here:
I'm raised Muslim, am part Jewish. I lean more Jewish (not a slight on EITHER religion) and treasure my Jewishness. But say something Islamophobic and please I invite you to "unfollow" me.

Wow I didn't expect to receive so much support, thank you!! If you like my stuff, please follow my Instagram as well, where I have some cool videos for you that are ALL ABOUT SPACE AND PLANETS!
instagram.com/astropartigirl/