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There are some things I don’t apologize for or even think of hiding, regardless of where I find myself:

1. Being a Christian
2. Being a Black-African
3. Being a Nigerian

These are part of my core identity and who I am. I respect every faith and those that have none, but
When I come into the room, my identity as a Christian also comes with me. This means that there are some things I’ll never do, and some ideas I will never subscirbe to, simply because of my faith. For instance, I’ve never been involved in corrupt practices, it’s against my faith.
As a Christian, it also means that there are parts of the world that I may never be able to live and walk freely in, because of persecution. And if I damn the consequences and live there, I may end up paying with my life; as I will rather die than deny my faith as a Christian ✝️
Being Black and African means that there are regions of the world that I go into, and I am automatically seen as a threat. I already know that I may be discriminated against, so I don’t act surprised when it happens but I prepare myself to answer and educate racists and bigots.
Being a black MAN, also adds another layer to it. To some, by me, simply dearing to aspire to have the same privileges, access or happiness as a white man means that I am too ambitious and coming off too strongly. I can only imagine what black women deal with.
Being Nigerian complicates my life with another layer of complexity to identity. In african countries, we are seen as aggressive and “a little too much”. In other parts of the world, we are seen as corrupt. I know this and I am prepared for it as I enter a new country.
I’ve had countless opportunities to give up my green passport for other more attractive ones but I’ve never been tempted to do so. I cannot deny my Nigerianess, same way it is impossible for me to deny being black or being Christian. I cannot help being Nigerian, it is who I am!
Whether we like it or not, identity plays out in everything we do. It plays out even in Nigeria. If I were to go deeper, I’d have told you that I am a Yoruba man from Ondo, living in Lagos and married to a half Itsekiri woman. In politics that could create its challenges.
Even in my own country, I may appear too Southern for some, even though many of my good friends are Northern and Muslim, and that’s never been a problem for me.

The point of this thread is, whether you like it or not, you will be defined by your identity; prepare for it!
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More from @KolaOyeneyin see all

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K.O. | 🇳🇬
@KolaOyeneyin
“Men are scum” | “women like money”

These are statements that many people make casually but are deeply rooted in fundamental assumptions about the two genders.

I’ve found, after years of quiet observation that people who make these statements fall into 3 categories. They:
1. are Incredibly ignorant
2. have a deep personal experience
3. hold a belief system

The very ignorant ones are mostly ignorant about many things but are usually quick to jump on the bandwagons, generally to appear trendy or be seen as supporting a seemingly popular faction.
The ignorant tends not to test assumptions, ask clarifying questions or attempt to understand why a popular belief is held so tightly. Usually when you ask, why do you believe that “women like money or are materialistic?”, the common response is “everybody knows so”. Which is
Read 15 tweets
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K.O. | 🇳🇬
@KolaOyeneyin
Dear young friend, one of the most important and frequent questions you will ever have to answer in life is the question, who are you? Please don’t make the mistake that this is a question about your name. As important as your name is, it is not who you are, it is merely a label
The question who are you or whose son or daughter are you? is a question about your very essence, history or your people. It is also a question about the makeup of the person standing in front of the enquirer. ‘The Who’, is very different from ‘The What’. So if I say who are you?
Please don’t tell me your name. That is the what. That’s why you never ask “who is your name”. ‘The What’ is a thing, and ‘The Who’ is a person; it is much deeper. It speaks to your personality, what makes you, you. The challenge about swapping “The Who” with “The What” is that
Read 9 tweets
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K.O. | 🇳🇬
@KolaOyeneyin
LET’S SHUT UP & LISTEN!

As a young President of a campus group, I paid a condolence visit to a friend and fellowship member who had just lost her dad. I said “you know, the Bible says, if you fail in the day of adversity, your strength is little”. I‘ll never forget her response.
She goes “Kola, please don’t preach AT me. I know the scripture and yes, I am failing and my strength is little. I didn’t ask you to come so you could TALK to me. I asked you to come so you could LISTEN to me”. My goodness, that experience changed me forever.
That was about 18yrs ago. As I grew and mature in the things of God, advocacy work or business, I have discovered the power in actively listening to people. I’ve sat down for more than 5hrs and listened to someone talk himself out of suicide. I’ve sat down for hrs and listened
Read 14 tweets

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