A CRICKET GAME IS HAPPENING. THEY ARE GOING TO PLAY A CRICKET GAME. 
The observant among you will see the socially distanced press tent is square-on here. Laptop repair people of Liverpool, stand by your phones.
The square boundaries are very long, on the plus side.
Context time... Lancashire Lightning, who've won both their completed games so far, are playing Derbyshire Falcons, who've lost both of theirs. Lancs have never won a T20 game at Aigburth; they have also never played anyone other than Leicestershire in a T20 game at Aigburth.
There is apparently a mistle thrush on the outfield, which is understandably looking a bit grim after Wednesday's antics. It's normally very quick here - will be interesting to see how it goes. It is a very big playing surface - reckon we could be in for a low-scorer.
Stodgy. That's the word. The outfield looks a bit stodgy.
Derbyshire's players are having a huddle in front of the press tent, and all just erupted in raucous laughter. Share it with the group or keep it to yourselves, lads.
Most of the Lancs players are doing fielding/catching drills on the far side; Liam Hurt is bending his back through some warm-up deliveries. No team news as of yet.
Lancashire have won the toss and elected to field. Hurt, having bent his back, isn't playing; neither is Steven Croft, who has a minor calf injury. Luke Wood and Stephen Parry come in.
I count four in the Derbyshire side - Critchley, McKiernan, Dal and Reese. Lancs have Bohannon, Lamb, Bailey, Hartley and Parry.
We're almost at that wonderful bit where all the players have cleared off the pitch and there's nothing there but stumps and anticipation.
Interesting that in the absence of a spin-bowling all-rounder, Lightning have chosen an out-and-out spinner. I'm going to keep going on about how big the playing area is until someone stops me.
Agreed. The playing area is quite big.
Wayne Madsen plays for Derbyshire, having recovered from a ligament injury - that's the only change from Monday night.
The bell rings, and out come the umpires. It's a bit cloudy but forecast to stay dry.
Tom Hartley to open the bowling from the Pavilion End.
Not much happens - Billy Godleman and Luis Reece push a few singles. 4/0 after 1. Luke Wood from the River End.
Godleman pulls the first - Wood's first ball in the blast for Lancs - to the fine leg boundary. Rest of the over is also banged in back of a length, but tighter - 11/0 from 2. Tom Bailey takes over from Hartley at the Pavilion End.
WICKET - Godleman spoons Bailey's first ball to mid-on, where Wood takes a simple catch. 11/1.
Madsen is next in but the batsmen crossed.
WICKET - Bailey keeps the rest of the over tight, then Reese takes on a single to Wood and is run out by a direct hit. Never a run there - Derbyshire in trouble here. 14/2 off 3 - Leus De Plooy next in.
Another good over from Wood, nothing driveable, and good work from the infielders. 17/2 off 4.
WICKET - Rob Jones, at backward point, is screaming about what a good power play it's been - and he's not wrong. It gets even better as Madsen tickles one to Alex Davies off Bailey. Derbyshire 18/3 in the fifth over and foundering.
WICKET - Danny Lamb comes into the attack from the River End and De Plooy obligingly chips one in the air, which Davies catches with ease. Slow down a bit, lads. 18/4.
Lamb completes a wicket maiden as Matt Critchley can't get him away. Sensational power play for Lancs - 18/4 as the field spreads. Parry into the attack.
Parry fails to join the taking-a-wicket-with-your-first-ball club, but the batsmen can only push a few singles. 23/4, Hartley back on.
More underwhelming singles than [insert punchline here] - Derbyshire consolidating, but without much to consolidate on. 28/4 off 8.
Lamb has a change of ends, Lightning's ground fielding remains excellent. 33/4, almost entirely in singles, from 9 overs.
Parry varies his pace and keeps the batsmen guessing from the River End, and Derbyshire have taken half their overs to score 34 runs.
WICKET - Critchley goes for a big sweep against Hartley but misses, and is LBW. Derbyshire now 35/5.
Anuj Dal joins Alex Hughes in the middle but can't get Hartley away - excellent so far from the Ormskirk man. 35/5 from 11 overs.
Matt Parkinson has a go from the River End. Batsmen show a little more intent but the results are much the same - 39/5 off 12. Only one boundary in the game so far.
Hartley finishes his spell of 1/14 from four overs. Parkinson to continue as Lancs continue to squeeze. 43/5 off 13.
COMEDY RUN-OUT - Dal smacks Parkinson straight to a fielder and runs. Hughes says nope. 48/6, scoreboard pressure starting to tell.
Mattie McKiernan joins Hughes. Parry wheels away. A few singles. 54/6 with five overs left.
Not sure what the procedure is here - Hughes just swept Parkinson and the ball rolled over the little rope that goes around the field? The batsmen have stopped running - no-one seems to know how to proceed.
The rest of the over sees another of those "four" thing and a very difficult drop by Jennings at short cover. 64/6 off 16. Parry to finish his spell from the Pavilion End.
WICKET - Hughes brings out the reverse sweep and is LBW for 32. Deserved reward for Parry, 64/7.
Parry finishes with 1/17. Vilas's trust in his spinners is paying off handsomely. 69/7, 3 to go.
McKiernan slog-sweeps Parkinson for six towards the scoreboard, just after surviving a huge LBW shout. 79/7 with two overs left.
Tom Bailey back on to close out from the Pavilion End. Pace off, back of a length, going nowhere - until the sixth ball, which is too full and disappears for four from McKiernan's bat. 88/7 off 19 - Lamb to bowl the last.
Two to long-on off the first ball.
Second trickles for a leg-bye - Harvey Hosein the batsman.
Third is a low full toss which McKiernan slices for four behind point.
Fourth driven for a long single.
Fifth clothed into the leg side for one. McKiernan on strike for the last ball.
And it trickles for a single behind square. A fitting end to a pretty dismal effort with the bat - but Lancs' bowlers and fielders deserve a lot of credit. Derbyshire close on 98/7.
Players returning to the field for what could be a very short second half of the game. Alex Davies and Keaton Jennings open for Lancs; McKiernan has the ball.
Just two from the first over, despite some expansive shots from Davies - it's clearly a tricky wicket, but not "98/7 from 20 overs" tricky.
Sam Conners from the Pavilion End. Jennings drives for two, which reminds me how few drives the Derbyshire batsmen played (or were allowed to play). 7/0 off 2.
McKiernan bowls another tight one - Davies flashes one just past a fielder, but other than that no alarms. 10/0 off 3.
Davies steers the first boundary of the innings behind square from a grunting Madsen - then immediately follows it with two more, a glorious drive and a firm cut. 23/0 off 4.
*Ed Barnes. It was Ed Barnes who was grunting.
Davies lofts McKiernan over extra cover for four - the sort of thing that happens if you get on the front foot and take risks during the power play. 29/0 off 5.
Power play finishes on 32/0, 69 needed from 14 overs.
Davies cuts Critchley for four. 40/0 after 7 - Davies 29, Jennings 10.
Hughes into the attack, serene progress from the batsmen so far. 47/0 from 8.
The 50 stand comes up in the 9th over. The next sees a tight run-out chance but nothing is going Derbyshire's way. 58/0 at the half-way stage - the DLS par, not that it's going to rain, is 46 (which seems incredibly generous to the fielding side).
WICKET - Out of nowhere, Davies chops on to Critchley for 36. Lancs 61/1 as Bohannon joins Jennings. He's not had the chance to bat earlier than the 18th over in either of Lightning's Blast games this year.
The frustrating thing here from a Derbyshire perspective is that they're probably not THAT far short of par. 120-130 would have been game on, I reckon. 66/1 off 13.
WICKET - McKiernan leaps like a salmon at mid-on to hold Bohannon's lofted drive off the bowling of du Plooy. Skipper Vilas is the next man in, 68/2.
But even after the wickets, Lightning are still scoring - Jennings, after almost being run out by his skipper, bangs two fours down the ground. 77/2 off 14, 22 required from 36 balls.
Madsen drops Vilas off his own bowling, inducing a tremendous yelp of frustration, complete with leap, from Critchley. Jennings then lofts and sweeps him for two fours. 94/2 off 16, Jennings on 48*.
Jennings ends the next over on 49, with Lancs needing three to win. What does the skipper do here...
Smack the winning runs back over the bowler's head, that's what. Lightning win by eight wickets - a trouncing, in truth.
Stung by my "stodgy" comment earlier, the groundsman immediately begins tearing around the outfield on a mower, before the players have even had chance to bump fists.
@threadreaderapp unroll
